Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Dealing with Confidence and Energy Sapping Friends

” Surround yourself with people who make you happy. People who make you laugh, who help you when you are in need. People who do not take advantage of you. People who genuinely care. They are the ones worth keeping in your life. Everyone else is just passing through” 

The people whom you have the most contact with and hang around will have either a positive or negative affect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.
We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.
How do they make you feel?
Yes, they make you feel the same! They can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with positive, can do vibes that has a knock on effect on everyone else.
We also know of those people who could moan for England!
They never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers - need I go on! Sometimes after spending time with these people everything seems so hard, life so difficult, you feel discouraged, as if things will never change for the better. 
These people drain your energy and bring you down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on. And remember gossip is never empowering and spending time with people who love gossip or interfering in other people's lives is a downer. It keeps you from moving forward, personal growth and development. 
Family members can be a lot like this also but you can always choose your friends, you can never choose your family! But you can choose not to get involved in the gossip. 
So what should you do to make sure that the people who you hang around with empower and support what you stand for rather than bring you down all of the time?
1. You have the power to choose who you hang around with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people. So choose your company wisely, people who have powerful intentions to succeed in life and make a positive difference in the world. 

2. If you have good friends who are negative and yet you still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how you feel – if they are a true friend they will respect you for this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.

3. The same can be said with family. Your more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. Appreciate where they have come from and as in number 2 above, elicit and select the information that filters through to your brain.

4. Remember, that nothing has meaning in life except the meaning that you give it, and the importance you choose to attach to it. 

5. Remember also that other people's opinions of you are none of your concern. So don't worry about it. Don't worry about what they may or may not be thinking of you. Get on with your life. 

Patricia Benjamin
Life Coach
Love & Relationship Coach
Radio Talk Show Host
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