Wednesday, 16 September 2015

No Limit to What I Can Do!

I'm super excited. 

I'm about to do something I've wanted to do for a long time.

Become a published author.

My writings have been published over the years for different publications but a book, well that's a whole new ball game.

Two years ago, I was in the Caribbean, sitting outside on my parents' veranda and talking  with my mother about my plans, and all the things I wanted to write about, and the various book titles I had in my heart.
During which she told me something she had never told me before.

It was about my junior school teacher, Mr Peter Lucas, of Grove Vale School, East Dulwich, London  (I loved that teacher, he taught us like he cared about us) and something  he told her at a Parents Evening.

It was these words

"Patricia has all the signs of a writer".

I was only 9 years old when I was in his class.

Do you know something, hearing mum say that did something for me. It really did. It meant something. It further affirmed me as a bona fide writer. It gave me confidence to step into my dream. To walk deeper in my purpose.

We often display our true selves, our gifts, talents and abilities in a much more natural way when we are young.  Before the critical factor sets in. Before we start listening to other people who tell us "you can't do that". Or "I don't think you could be that".

Why do we invest so much in other people's negativity towards us?

I remember a class mate telling me she didn't think I would be able to complete a piece of English comprehension homework as I wasn't good enough. Well of course you know I not only completed it but got an A. Please.........! I remember it well.

Sometimes my life coaching clients  tell me that they don't know what they want to do with their lives.  Very many of these are in their 40s. I often tell them to cast their minds back to the things they used to enjoy doing when they were young.

We often overlook the things that we do easily and naturally and feel that 'anyone could do it' or 'it's nothing special'. But it is something special. And no, anyone couldn't do it. Especially not like you.

So recognise today there is really no limit to what you can do except the boundaries you allow to be in place.

@Patricia Benjamin • Author • 7 Habits of Highly Fabulous Women • 2015
Life and Relationship Coach
Highly Fabulous Consulting
BEFFTA Best Radio Personality
Sound Women 200 List
Christian Women In Media International
Top 100 Most Influential Black People on Social/Digital Media List
UK C.O.O Making it Happen

Tuesday, 1 September 2015

Church Flow on the Real Love Show

This week we had a pretty sparkling debate on church flow, for christian women.

Special guest, renowned gospel artist Watchman Williams, stated publicly that "christian women were out of touch when it came to fashion, their conversation and dating".

Listen to the show here Real Love Show with guest Dr Watchman Williams

As you can guess there was plenty of outrage among the sisters and Dr Williams was brought to task.

However I'd like to add a few things.
While there may be some women who are less concerned with fashion and with staying up on the latest trends, there are plenty of sisters who look the part and not just on a Sunday.  They have more than church flow going on Sunday morning, they stay in the flow. With style.

But these ladies, as stylish as they are, do not always get a look in from the brothers and still remain single. I spoke to a DJ the other day who was talking about  a church boat cruise he'd just been on that weekend.  He admitted the ladies had looked very good. No complaints. On asking whether or not he had approached any of these ladies he confessed he hadn't. I would like to know why. I'm pretty sure he was one of many guys who didn't approach.

The ladies did their part so when will the men  do theirs?  I've heard it said that they fear rejection. Isn't rejection part of life?  Do we not all experience rejections on the path to our yes? There are no guarantees.  Things are not handed to you on a plate.

Our guest also made a point that church ladies need to have more to their conversation than Jesus but needed to be able to talk about Adidas too. Point taken.

I was told some years ago by a very wise lady that my husband didn't always want to see me in the Bible at all times. Sometimes he'd like to see me less. Point taken. Whilst the spiritual side of things is imperative the human and physical side must be catered to, equally.  Otherwise things can become very unbalanced.

But how far do we go?  Whilst many of us can take this on board we may want to learn a lesson from Meagan Good who definitely understands this dynamic  but she may wish to exercise due appropriateness next time!

A friend of mine told me the other week that her husband used to be no fun and life with him not at all enjoyable. Yet this man is a well respected minister and deservedly so. But what's lacking is the human component. We have to take care of all our partner's needs. Sometimes girls just wanna have fun. She has told me though in latter months he has begun to change and is much more relaxed.

As christian women we can't be one sided.  We need to look good for our partners and take genuine interest in their lives outside of church matters. Be interested in their careers, in their hobbies and their goals in life.

Listen to the show here Real Love Show with Dr Watchman Williams

All this goes both ways. The brothers need to do the same for their wives too. It's a two way street. 

Patricia Benjamin 
Life and Relationship Coach 
BEFFTA Best Radio Personality 
Sound Women 200 List 
Christian Women in Media International 
Top 100 Most Influential Black People in Digital  /Social Media 
UK Chief Operating Officer Making it Happen