Sunday, 24 January 2016

Weekend musings

Afternoon musings. ....

Is it always worth being right?

I mean what if you reach the ripe old age of 80 and you have no real friends around you because you spent life just keeping to yourself? What if at every real or imagined slight you just withdrew?

It may be okay to be alone, able  and fiercely independent but what about being old and alone, not so able and sadly independent? Does that work?

Can we go through life without acquiring the grace to forgive people, or simply overlook stuff.  Doesn't unforgiveness lead to bitterness? Bitterness has it's way of working itself out in the physical body causing dis-ease.

To have friends Proverbs tell us we must first show ourselves to be friendly.

We all will find that one day we need people. We need friends....

Just thinking. ....

Patricia Benjamin
Life and Relationship Coach

Thursday, 7 January 2016

Get Your Life in 2016

2016 is Your Time!

I hope you're fired up for 2016 and I've listed below 10 elements you can integrate into your life to ensure an excellent year both personal and professional.

1. Take Yourself Seriously.

Don't keep saying you will go with the flow. That means you have no plan, no goal, no destination, you're just reacting to what life throws at you. Your life must be lived on purpose. Life isn't a dress rehearsal. This is it. If you're an entrepreneur or solopreneur take your business serious and take a business approach, every single day.

2. You're a reflection of your circle so really think about if everyone you spend significant time with is going the same direction as you.  Think if you really want another year of more of the same type and quality of relationship.

3. Are you setting the right kind of foundation in your life to win?  What books are you reading?  Are you still growing intellectually? Are you growing spiritually? Are you curious about life and ready to learn?

4. Faith is key but faith still needs a plan. Enough said. Don't get over spiritual!

5. Not just talking a good game but it's time to say "show me the money". Remember, know your value and charge your worth when it comes to business. People who can't afford to pay you or are unwilling to pay you or are forever seeking discounts are not your target market.

6. Feed your bank account and not your ego.  Being popular isn't going to pay your bills. Likes on facebook cant buy groceries.  So set specific weekly, monthly and quarterly business goals as well as yearly goals. Get a financial strategy that works for your business.

7. Don't just copy other people who seem to be succeeding. Don't just be a "wanna bee". Do you and do it well. Whatever works for you and your business do that and do it better.

8. Find people several steps ahead of you in your field and learn from them. Follow them on social media. Listen to their seminars. Read their books. See what you can adapt and adopt for your business and personal life.

9. Don't neglect you. Remember No is a complete sentence and it's a power word. Protect your me time and your down time. You won't succeed long term if you neglect yourself.

10. Always keep adjusting. Nothing is written in stone. If you need to make a change here or there don't be afraid to. Get ego out the way and follow the better way when revealed to you.

Patricia Benjamin
Life and Relationship Coach
Email at

Sunday, 3 January 2016

Helpful Hints for Lone Mums

Let's start

Your Money

Try to put some money away each week.  Prioritise between your needs and wants and really focus on you and your child's needs. If there is any money left over,  save it.
Your Friends

Start to grow  your circle of positive people in your life who age trying to make the most of themselves professionally and personally. At the same time drastically reduce from your life those who are negative and unproductive.

Protect your child Emotionally

Try not to let your children know you are finding life difficult or challenging, especially when they are quite young. They may see you struggling but you don't want them to feel insecure or unstable about life or the environment. Children need stability emotionally as well as physically and you will help to provide this. If you need an emotional outlet this is where your friends and circle come in.

Be Organised

Reduce feelings of overwhelm by breaking your life down in manageable chunks. This means that you look at each one by itself, instead of looking at all of them at once. Chunks may be your health, your finances, your friends, your career, etc

Be Practical

Don't leave your job until you find another one, even if you really hate it.

Down Time

When it comes time for you to  relax (and this is vital to your own well-being) do ask a close family member or trusted friends to stay with your child. Even if you don't have loads to spend there are many things you can do for fun that cost little or no money. But please always take time for yourself. You matter. You count.

Get Motivated About Life

Never give up on yourself or on your future. You can have a powerful future and life will not be this tough forever.  Make a financial plan, stick to it, and live day by day.

Find a mentor who can encourage you to set small interim goals for your progress.

Ask for Help

Success is asking for help when you need it. Humility is greatness.  No one in life gets anywhere significant without the help of others. You cannot live in a vacuum. And when you are in a position to help someone else, send the elevator back down!

Invest in Yourself

Expand your education at every opportunity.  There are many free and low cost courses online as well as a plethora of information on a number of topics.  Libraries offer free training in IT as well as Internet access for free. A great place to start .


Where possible keep the access clear for visits and interaction with the father of your child.

Empirical evidence shows boys and girls need their fathers in their lives. As well,  fathers need to provide practical and financial support towards the child regardless of whether you are together as they are his responsibility.

Patricia Benjamin
Life and Relationship Coach