Translate

Friday, 27 February 2015

The Best Lover of All

I've been going to church since I can remember. Starting with Sunday School around age 5 at the lovely Baptist Church at the end of the road. Then later joining the Girls Brigade who I used to admire on Band Sundays when they sat at the front of the church in their  very smart uniforms.

I loved Sunday School and everything it entailed including yearly Scripture Exams where we sat in silence and took a written  test; to going away camping; to fun Christmas parties etc

From then having gone to a few different churches myself I've always taken my personal faith in God very seriously.

I knew He was real.  He listened to my prayers.  He often spoke back to me in a myriad of ways and I always felt my walk with him was alive and vibrant.

However.

A few short years ago He became more than someone I  prayed to but more like someone who was right there. There with me. Wherever I was he seemed to be alongside. Not just during my prayers times or in church but other times. When I sat in the park.  When I pondered my next career step. When I was out grocery shopping. When I decided which film I'd see at the cinema. And in a very real way. There were times I felt him so real and personal that when the sun would fall gently on my cheek it felt like his soft caress.



There were times I just wanted to be alone so I could indulge and luxuriate  in his presence. Feel his love and care for me.  There was the  knowing that he had things to tell me. Knowing that he wanted me to know he had great faith in me. Imagine God having faith in me! It meant he believed in me. That he was saying 'Go on Patricia, you know you can do it, you've got it in you; go for it, go on don't be afraid.'

Well it's pretty hard to look down on yourself or doubt yourself if God tells you to give it a go!  In fact, it would be rude not to. .......



Myles Munroe  RIP said being humble is not walking with your head bowed low but walking in your fullness that you were created in. That was humility. To simply be who you were. No apology needed.

I remember one day saying to myself "How come nobody has ever told me it could be like this?"

I somehow got a glimpse into what King Solomon was talking about in Songs of Solomon. I knew what he meant when he made the allegory between the deep intense love affair between a man and a woman and the intensity of love the creator wants with his creation.



He doesn't want to be seen just as a Law Giver, a Judge, a figure of authority but someone who deeply desires  a real relationship with those who say they love him.

It was especially lovely during February - the month of Love and Romance - to talk with my guest Jemma Regis about her book 'God's Romantic Getaway'.

Gemma's book is a pure delight to read and she tells me how she came to write it in our conversation so listen in.



You may be reading this and be of no particular faith persuasion and that's fine. It doesn't take away from the authenticity of my experience.

I'm impressed to share the impact of knowing I can connect in a real way to the one who created this magnificent world we inhabit and know he hears.

One thing I note is that many individuals who are making powerful inroads and having immense influence as well as giving positive contribution to the world around them, all acknowledge an existence of One that is greater than themselves.

It's as though to  find your own greatness you must acknowledge it's source.

Take a listen to Jemma sharing her experience of God's Romantic Getaway - maybe you can have one too!

The Best Lover of All - God's Romantic Getaway with Jemma Regis


Patricia Benjamin
Life Coach
Love & Relationship Coach
BEFFTA Best Radio Personality
Sound Women 200 List
Christian Women in Media International Leader
Top 100 Most Influential Black People in Digital / Social Media

Saturday, 21 February 2015

Succeeding Against the Odds

I had a wonderful evening at the recent Screen Nation Awards 2015! It was an evening filled with glitz and glamour, live music and upbeat and  lively men and women.

We had all come together to laud and celebrate artists operating at the highest level of their craft and to acknowledge their consistent dedication in their chosen speciality.







I am one who believes in awards. It is a positive thing to be recognised by your peers and be celebrated. It's much better to be celebrated than it is to be tolerated.



It was lovely to hear from some of the winners the motivation that drives them even when it seems all uphill, even when they have faced so many no's in the industry. Yet they stayed with their passion, they stuck with Plan A as plan b wasn't an option.
Screen Nation celebrates artists of colour as in the mainstream they are mostly overlooked. So this Award body helps to set that right.  In very much the same way the NAACP Image Awards does in the USA.

Idris Elba gives his speech

Mr Idris Elba was there live in person to collect his award and during his speech made the request that everyone should  give support to events such as these.

Indeed without support we can get nowhere.   Everyone and anyone who is making great strides is doing so because they are getting support to get the work done. Vision alone is never enough. As well as vision and planning etc every dream needs a team.

Well done to the founder of these excellent awards, Charles Thompson MBE, who has been hosting it for 10 years  and also to his outstanding team.
Whatever you're setting out to do, don't be a one man band  but take time to assemble your team.
Your team should believe in you and your vision.  Without this its not a team. The team may change faces from time to time but essentially the characteristics and qualities will be the same.

I have to say that there was a lot of positivity in that room filled with amazing people. The positivity was inspiring and uplifting and made you feel you could succeed also.

And of course, if you put in the work, build your team and run with the vision,  you can!

Patricia Benjamin
Life Coach
BEFFTA Best Radio Personality
Sound Women 200 List
Christian Women in Media International
Top 100 Most Influential Black People in Digital / Social Media
www.ruachradio.com

Friday, 20 February 2015

Week 4 - Count Down to Love

Hi guys, its our final week and thank you all for taking this Love Challenge.

Loads of you have reached out to me and talked about your experience so far. And a big thank you to so many of you that have shared the Challenge with your friends. 
 
I warn you now that this final week may be the most demanding yet but will yield the most harvest from all your efforts so far!
Let's get to it.

Day. 22 - What is your desire for your life? What are you actually demanding from life?  In fact are you not demanding anything at all and just 'going with the flow'?

Have you ever asked yourself these questions? If you know what you really want  in your life it's easier to know what kind of relationship you want. I mean, if you don't yet know what you want from life can you be clear on what you need from a relationship?  Marriage itself  is not an end goal.  It's merely the opening of a new chapter in the book of Your Life. Someone who doesn't yet understand themselves or who isn't focused on where they are going in life is not going to attract someone else who is!

Today, before you leave the house, sit down and ask yourself:- Who Am I emotionally,  spiritually, mentally, professionally?
What are my core values? What are my deepest desires for my life?  What am I prepared to do to get those desires? What are my innate qualities and abilities that I can use to achieve them? 

Write down your answers to these questions - it will help you see clearly who you are, what you want and what you do not want.  Now you will be able to quickly identify people that you meet who are in line with these values and hold similar ambition in life. It's much better to choose a partner whose life values and ambitions are the same or complementary to yours.

Opposites may attract but they don't make for long term commitment or life together.

Day 23 - It's important to bear in mind that you are not here to fix anybody. Don't invest time, energy and emotion in trying to get someone to change. They are who they are fundamentally. If you feel the need to get them to change they are not the one for you. Your friends should be people who inspire you and lift you higher, so how much more your life partner!  Accept him for who he is. Once he has shown you who he is, believe it and accept it. If you're unhappy with the reality then this is not the one for you. 

Don't get into a relationship with someone who is unsuitable and then spend all your time complaining and being miserable. It's so important not only to love and accept yourself but also to know you must accept others for who they are. 

Day 24. Time to look beyond aesthetics. As we get older and wiser we learn to base our romantic interests on things other than outward appearance. We realise the perfect man doesn't have to look like Brad Pitt or Idris Elba! It might be nice but it is not a necessity. Your life is not a Hollywood movie. Consider dating men outside any previous strict parameters. Outside your race. Someone under 6ft. Someone with different yet exciting interests. Take off the limits. 

Day 25. Today you need to set aside 20/30 minutes for this exercise. Please look back over the last five years only and write down everything you have done, completed or achieved that you are proud of. It should be things personal and professional, a new skill, a new ability. Then look back over them and acknowledge and celebrate your achievements. As adults we rarely pat ourselves on the back or tell ourselves "nice job"! Celebrate by calling a few friends and go out someplace special. Because you are special.

Even more fun, why not give a party?  Invite friends, new and old and anyone you'd like to have as more than a friend, get some feel-good music, and dance the night away. Everybody loves a good time. Get planning now!

Day 26: Think about using all dating and matchmaking resources available. Perhaps use a professional matchmaker. Do not count out such options as online dating.  Let your family and good friends know you are interesting in meeting someone, social networking sites, singles holidays, join up for a class in something you're genuinely interested in. Be open to new suggestions, activities, events, places. Break out of your usual social routines and expand your social horizons. 

Day 27: An interesting exercise today. Please select three people. One personal friend. One professional colleague. One associate, maybe someone from your church, a class, a friend of a friend. Once you have selected them please ask them the following: 

a) what do you feel are my 3 strongest strengths?
 b) what 3 things do you like most about me? 
c) if something terrible happened  or you had received bad news, and you called me, what would you expect to get from me  and why?

Give them 24 hrs  to get back to you. And then read through what they say. Anything there really surprise you? Did you learn anything about yourself or did it throw a light on anything for you. 

Day 28. Sit down and review the list you made of your achievements, then look at the answers you received from the 3 individuals you chose! Then close your eyes and see yourself the way these people have seen you. Embrace and acknowledge all your achievements to date. Feel good being who you are. Feel good that you are making a difference to other people. Then in your mind's eye see yourself standing tall, worthy, confident, charismatic, passionate about life and people. At ease with yourself and with others. Wow, how confident, attractive and compelling are you! Walk in your truth. 

Bonus Day: Share the love - every person you come into contact with today, make it a good encounter for them. When you smile, make it a smile from the heart, learn to smize, (smile with your eyes) communicating that passion and joy you have about life.

When you compliment someone do it freely, don't expect one back, just give it because they deserve it and you are happy to affirm them. When you engage with the opposite sex, do it authentically, don't be half-hearted, make an impact, hold their gaze, don't be afraid to ask a follow-up question. Treat them as someone of value. Not because they are rich or handsome but because they are who they are. Everyone responds to respect, and thoughtfulness.

******************************************

I have loved sharing this Love Count Down with you.

Love starts with love of self. This Challenge has given you a chance to look at who you think you are, who you want to be, who people think you are, and allowed you to put your past behind you so it doesn't hold your future hostage. 

It has awakened hope, given life-skills strategies, encouraged you to open your mind, your networks, your interests; become more proactive about getting what you want. All in all you are now much more magnetic to people, more intriguing to engage with, more confident in your pursuit of what life and love have to offer.

Feel free to go over this again, you'll get better at it each time. Make it part of routine, not just for February. You can review the lessons you've learned and keep practicing your new social skills until you are the expert whatever social circles you find yourself in.

I would love to hear from you, so drop me a few lines at AskPatricia@me.com and share your thoughts. 

Also, if you think you would benefit from a more individual approach  you can book me for personal coaching wherever you are in the world, have Skype, will travel (RealLove Show - Skype address) - Personal Coaching allows for a customised plan just for you that covers your life and relationships. It may be just what you need to make sure 2015 brings you what you truly want.
 
Simply email me at AskPatricia@me.com to get started!

Also, look out for the book this Challenge is based on coming this Soon. Countdown to Love,  its a super guide to Preparing for, Getting Ready for, and Finding Love.

Thank you for taking the RealLove Challenge! 

Find my weekly podcasts at iTunes - The Real Love Show

Here's a show you may enjoy listening to - this one features Best Selling Author Aaron Lamont on 'This is Why You're Single'.

And there are plenty more at ITunes under Real Love Show 

Patricia Benjamin
Life Coach
Love & Relationship Coach
Radio Talk Show Host
Email: AskPatricia@me.com
Facebook: Ask Patricia
Twitter: @Ask_Patricia
iTunes: Real Love Show

Saturday, 14 February 2015

Week 3 - Count Down to Love


Hope you enjoyed a great Valentines Weekend however you decided to spend it.

So, you're finding the Count Down challenging and loving it at the same time. Nice work so far  - let's get into  the third week.

This week we are going to clear out our closets, stop the nonsense, stop the game playing, stop the self-sabotage and really begin the pursuit of happiness in earnest. There are those who are prepared to put in the same effort when they are seeking love and happiness as when they are seeking employment.  No doubt one of the reasons you are reading this post is because you are too.

Each day we look at how we might be getting in our own way when it comes to love!

Day 15: Don't fry your new love interest or any potential future love interest in the fat of your ex. No matter how awful that past relationship was, this is not the same person. Are you carrying bitterness and pain from your past? If so, work through these issues. You are not ready to start again. Your heart needs to be free from those painful memories and healed from those hurts. You also need to learn the learnings from those relationships.  Have you considered the power of forgiveness? Forgiving not because they deserve it but because you deserve to be happy. You can't be happy if you are still rehearsing, reliving, rehashing every terrible thing your ex did to you. Let go of the anger, don't keep on imagining ways you can get your own back. How can you move forward if you are constantly looking through your rear mirror? Your focus is in reverse! Leave the past exactly where it is, right there, behind you.  If you don't, you'll just have a bitter spirit, a sharp tongue and an ugly attitude.  And we know ugly goes to the bone!  Not attractive. Let it go! Consider working with a relationship coach for a month or so. If you are a person of faith, take it up in prayer and release your sorrow there. Ask your minister to help you. Whatever else  you do, this is an absolute non-negotiable to moving forward and finding real love.

Day 16 . Stop with the game playing! No one has time for  games and all these rules. We are all adults now!  Everybody's grown. Who can be bothered to play your "hard to get" game?  Who can be bothered to jump through all your hoops? Life is too short. If a guy is interested in you and you like him then stop throwing up road blocks. Stop giving him tests. You are not a prize. Just be real. Just be yourself.

Isn't it time to be honest about who you are, what your values are and live in line with that?  If someone doesn't fit then they just don't fit.

Day 17. Stop with the praying. Meaning Stop with the over-spiritualising. Please -  Just Stop! You have to pray AND. Although the good book says Ask, and it will be given.  It also says seek and you'll find. Knock and it will be opened. These all mean you are proactive. Don't ask and wait. Ask, seek, knock, make an effort.  Sitting at home watching reality tv, drinking red wine each night is not going to bring Mr Right to your door. Neither will constantly telling yourself and your  girlfriends that there are just no good men out there. God helps those who help themselves. If you desire a job, once you've prayed would  you not make sure you have the right qualifications, brush up your skills, put out your CV, expand your networks, attend relevant industry seminars/conferences and go on interviews?  A husband will not just turn up out of the blue because you have prayed. Give God something to work with. There ARE suitable marriage partners out there. Create opportunities to meet someone suitable.  Go out and change up your routine. Look lively!  Going to the same old church meetings and seeing the same old folk week in, week out, year after year is not enough!  It hasn't been enough up to now, after so many years, so do something different. Outside the church walls.  Go out, develop new interests, pursue a new hobby, think outside the box, Pray and DO SOMETHING! Do something today.

18. Listen to your intuition. It will never steer you wrong. NEVER.  Sometimes we cannot find Real love because are entangled in relationships that aren't good for us. If something feels off, don't wait for your mind to figure out what's wrong, get out of that relationship.

19. Dating someone who isn't available. This is always a complete waste of time and emotional investment. If this man is married, in another relationship and merely using you for his own ego, or sexual predilections or penchants, you've got to know this is going nowhere. Find the courage and strength to up and leave. It may seem exciting especially with its forbidden nature but as you get older and not so desirable he may seek to replace you as your currency is losing value, and as you begin to tire of always fitting in with his agenda, it's always a dead end. Time to knock this one on its head. You are better than that!

Day 20. Break your cycle. Stop dating the same person but with a different face and name. Do you have a certain type? As in, the wrong type! If you have just the worst taste in the opposite sex, sit down and break it down. Are you still always going for the "bad guy"? Are you still thinking you can fix him, you can change him? What do you need to change about yourself is the question. Work this out and you're on your way!

A great exercise is to ask yourself 3 questions. (1) What do you want? Then (2) What is stopping you? Then (3) What do you want instead? Then repeat the process and keep going till you reach your truth no matter how uncomfortable it feels.  This will take you to the root.  Be honest and truthful to yourself. This is a good exercise to do with a friend who asks you the questions. You can then do the same process with them.

Day 21. Too shy! That's a label you can take off right now.  Being shy is something you can unlearn. And it's pretty easy too!  You can develop social skills. It's simply a matter of taking interest in other people. You can begin by being curious. Curious about life, about people and situations. You can ask questions. Being shy can mean worrying about what people are thinking or saying about you. To be honest, most people are more concerned with what you are thinking or saying about them. It really isn't all about you. A great tip is to do something that many actors have learnt to do. Pretend to be someone else. When you are in a challenging social situation,  think about someone you know who is very socially confident and imagine what they would do. And simply do the same thing. So if you have a friend who is very confident think how they would behave and adopt the same behaviour. You'll be surprised how much fun and how easy this is. After a while, you won't need to pretend anymore, it will be all you.

Okay, so time to go!

Next week, we are getting busy in our love pursuit. Get ready to turn up the volume on week one and take things to a whole new level.

I'm loving all the emails you're sending me about how you are finding this, keep them coming!

Week 4 coming this time next week!

Enjoy the Real Love Challenge!

Patricia Benjamin
Life Coach
Love & Relationship Coach
Radio Talk Show Host
Email: AskPatricia@me.com
Facebook: Ask Patricia
Twitter: @Ask_Patricia
iTunes: Real Love Show





Thursday, 12 February 2015

Sunday, 8 February 2015

Count Down to Love - Week 2

Hey!

It seems like many of you are looking for love as you have been busy delving into this blog topic. I hope you're liking the challenge. So here we go......

Now let's get into week 2.

Day 8 - Ask yourself, what are the voices in your head telling you? What are the voices from your past telling you? What is the voice of your heart telling you. Okay, I want you to take authority over any inner voice that is not supporting you. I want you to substitute that voice with a new voice. That old voice may have been telling you negative things. It may have been telling you that you'll always be alone. It may have been telling you that you're not attractive enough. It may have been telling you that you don't have what it takes to find love. It may have been telling you that you'll just end up being hurt and let down again. Time to shut that down. That voice hasn't been helping you. This is your life and you get to write the script. You can choose, you decide.  Begin to say "I deserve love". "I'm very loveable". "Real love is my portion in life and I expect it" "At the rightime for me, I will find love or it will find me". "All I've been through and the lessons I've learnt has prepared me for the relationship that is right for me". Make up some more of your own. Let these words become the words of your new and dominant inner voice. Key: Hear yourself say these words. Say them out loud. Today and every day this week. We get in life what we think, believe, say and expect.

Day 9. Do you remember when you were last in love? When you felt good in your skin. Remember how desirable you felt . Remember that amazing feeling of knowing someone was thinking about you and would go out of their way to please you. If you have never been in love then just imagine how that would feel. Well, take those feelings and embrace them. Close your eyes and feel those feelings from the crown of your head, spreading through your body to the tips of your fingers right down to the soles of your feet.  Begin walking with a spring in your step. Start dressing with that extra flare. Start combing your hair with that little extra attention. Spray on a new cologne, something light, maybe floral, something classy, like you. When you smile feel that new charisma that is beginning to flow from you. Know that your eyes sparkle with that certain something. Feel comfortable in this place of confidence and happiness. Now go out and face your day and walk as though you're hearing your favourite song.

Day 10. How are you feeling today? Is your energy up? Are you full of beans? If yes, fabulous.  You're about to feel even better soon. If not, take a look at what you're putting into your body. Is there anything you need to adjust nutrition wise? Try and up your intake of fresh fruits and vegetables that help detox your body. Are you taking regular physical exercise? Even if you don't need to lose weight, getting your heart rate up is good for getting those endorphins racing through your body and feeling good. It's been proven to counter depression. So get the exercise going, it could be  a daily walk, a Zumba class, a free weights session whatever you prefer.  If you can make it something upbeat and fun, all the better.  Someone who loves themselves enough to take care of themselves is always very appealing.

Day 11. Time to get your flirt on. Flirting is simply communicating in a way that let's someone know you're interested in the possibility of dating.  Keep your approach casual and relaxed. Use their name, it's very charming to have someone address you and call your name. It sounds very simple but there's a big difference in simply saying "good morning" to saying "good morning John/Marie". A nice compliment given with eye contact and a soft smile is good.  Ladies, give a guy permission to talk to you. Let him see you're approachable and use open body language. Ladies, you hold the power, you are the ones that give the green light. It's not all on the man. Even if he thinks he made the first move you are the one who makes it clear you are open to an approach.  If you like him its okay to look back and give  that second look. Remember, vive la difference! Ladies play up your femininity. Give the jeans or trousers a break. Wear a dress and wear it with confidence and flare. Also, ladies, leave Ms Independent at home. Independent means "alone" and you're done with that.  I know you guys are reading along too so just remember, good humour, a smile, a nice compliment, not appearing too eager, and being the gentleman is always a winner. So, there's one or two tips for you to bear in mind as you get your flirting skills going. Bear in mind that the  more you practice flirting the more comfortable and confident you will be.

Day 12. Another Feel the Fear and do it anyway day! Go on a blind date. Just for fun. Get a friend you know and trust to arrange a foursome. And go and have fun. It should be something you can enjoy, maybe visit a gallery and then a light lunch; visit a tourist attraction then go for a drink; go to a comedy club and just have fun. Be yourself. Your best self. Just have a great day/evening. Don't worry about chemistry or love at first sight for now. And did you know some of the best relationships are those that started out as friends with lots in common?

Day 13. Today is Take a Risk day! You're going to turn the tables. Especially if you're female. Call up your blind date. Tell them you had a fun time and you'll love to go for coffee one morning. This is presuming you did have a nice time. However, if you do not plan to see your blind date again still call them and thank them for a pleasant evening.  Show courtesy and respect because that's the kind of person you are.

Day 14. Get some colour in your life. Especially if you wear a lot of black. Black is cool and everything, but get some colour, for a change. Take a chance. Get out your comfort zone and do things a little differently. Why not book a personal shopper or a personal stylist or a friend whose dress style you've always admired but didn't have the confidence to emulate and shake things up a little. Start living your life in colour. Come out of the Grey zone and come Alive with colour.

By now, you will be flowing with confidence, self-belief and a greater sense of self-acceptance and self-love. A greater sense of control in your life.  This is coming together to cause you to be a very compelling and charismatic person. There are two types of people in life, those who think that life happens to them  and then those who believe life is what you make it.  Which one of these do you fit into?

Next week, we will begin clearing out a few things you may not be aware of that could be in your way. But in the meantime fully embrace each day and the daily challenge. And if you're not finding it easy, remember its a Challenge. But I believe you're reading this because you were meant to and this will make a significant difference in your life. Drop me an email let me know how you're doing.

Day 15 coming this time next week.

Enjoy the RealLove Challenge

Patricia Benjamin
Life Coach
Love & Relationship Coach
Radio Talk Show Host
Email: AskPatricia@me.com
Facebook: Ask Patricia
Twitter: @Ask_Patricia
iTunes: Real Love Show

Saturday, 7 February 2015

The Real Reason I Do Radio

Hi guys
Hope you're all well.

Isn't it wonderful when we get unexpected validation and endorsement on what we do?
So many of us are still seeking our true path and purpose and, whilst I'm clear on what I do, it's heartwarming to get sincere feedback that confirms you are on your path.

I wanted to share this with my #realloveshow listeners and my blog readers as this week I had a very powerful reminder as to why I host the Real Love Show and my Ask Patricia Show.

I just did a show on grief and in particular the pain of losing someone very close such as a mother or father. Several of you contacted me personally and shared your experience and a young woman called Jemma actually talked with me on the show.

Jemma lost her mother when she was just 17 and now 27 years later she still cries.  Significantly, although Jemma has several siblings they have never spoken  to each other about the day mum died.  Not once. They have all carried  their sadness in their own way and never opened up to each other.

Well, after the show repeat aired, that has now changed. For the first time they are all sharing their experience and memories of mum's passing and life since then. The struggles, the difficulties,  the pain and the challenges.


Jemma tells me that a real family healing has begun and family counselling had been agreed upon.

There is so much more detail but suffice to say Jemma tells me this has all been a result of the Real Love Show.

This is, for me, a 'moment'.

I am encouraged that our show is doing what it is meant to.

The main scripture that emboldens  me to look into uncomfortable topics is this:-
(Paraphrased)
Isaiah 61.1 The Lord has chosen and sent me to tell the oppressed the good news, to heal the broken hearted, announce freedom to the captives,.......
2. .....comfort those that mourn, give beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning and a garment of praise instead of heaviness.

When it comes to relationships I want to bring healing and restoration. Healing is not always physical. Healing can be emotional and mental. God wants us whole, body, soul and spirit.  We are triune beings and our approach to healing should look at all our parts.

It's very easy to be all spiritual and make prayer your main focus. But the mind, will and emotions must never be overlooked.
Unexpressed feelings or emotions can go on to affect relationships whether current or in the future. So its  very important to address as soon as possible.

If you have had to face the loss of someone very close and have never opened up do seriously consider bereavement counselling. Especially if you have deep feelings of anger, resentment, abandonment, or constant depression etc
.
A regular to the Real Love Show is counsellor and psychotherapist Janet McNish who you can get in touch with at JanetMcnish.com.

Thanks for supporting the shows each week. Those of you that can't hear the live shows regularly download them which is great. It's encouraging to feel that the shows are making a real difference and contribution to many lives.

Find latest episodes and archives at iTunes and Tunein Radio - just search Real Love Show at either.

Lots of love to you all,


Patricia Benjamin 
@Ask_Patricia 
@AskPatricia2000

Thursday, 5 February 2015

Count Down to Love

Hi guys, 
Are you ready for a Love Challenge? If you are and you're single and ready to commit to 28 days, let's go!
I'm doing this because I want to resource those of you who desire to be in a relationship leading to marriage. So, we are going to be very intentional about it. I would love you to let me know, as you go along, how you're doing. Come back at me with any questions.
Expectations: It's not about getting a proposal in 28 days (but you never know) but about being positioned to make a Real Love Connection! What do you have to lose...... Here goes!
Day One: - Prepare for Love by actively loving yourself. Okay, so get in front of the mirror and think about someone you know for sure loves or admires you. As you look at yourself, see yourself the way they see you. Stand there and absorb that for a full minute. Then whilst you're still in front of the mirror give yourself a personal compliment. A very specific tailor made compliment. Just for you. Be nice to yourself. Even if this feels strange, narcissistic or just uncomfortable. Stand there and enjoy the compliment.  Feel the love. Okay, start your day!
Day Two: The same as yesterday. PLUS - Then throughout your day find a minimum of 5 people you do NOT know and simply hold their gaze when you would normally look away and simply  smile.
Day Three: The same as day 2. PLUS - Then as you go through your day please find 5 people of the same sex to pay a real compliment to. One you genuinely mean. It could be someone at work about a great presentation they gave or a colleague's new hairstyle etc.
Day Four: This morning look at yourself and do it through your own eyes. Take time and appreciate being you - call to mind a favourite compliment you have received and enjoy it all over again.
Day Five: Take it further. For this you will need a good 10-15 minutes. Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Then begin speaking to your body. Speak to your heart and tell your heart how much you appreciate it beating every day. Speak to your lungs and tell them you appreciate them enabling you to breathe every day. Speak to your blood and appreciate that it flows to and feeds every organ of your body every day. Speak to your kidneys and appreciate them keeping your body clear of toxins etc etc. Go through your body and appreciate, love and bless your physical being. Close your eyes as you imagine your body feeling the love. You know your body has emotion......don't you?  Do it with soft music in the background if you like. It's very healing and inner joy enhancing. You will feel so good at the end of it.
Day Six: Today, it's feel the fear and do it anyway. As you go through your day find a minimum of 5 men you do NOT know and hold their gaze when you would normally look away, and just smile.
Day Seven: You're doing so well. On this the last day of the first week you are going to give 3 men you do not know a genuine, considered compliment. It does not have to be flirty, or heavy, just genuine. No pressure.
By now, you will have realised that we are being the change we want to see. No one is attracted to someone who doesn't enjoy being in their own body or someone who never has a kind word to say to or about anybody or even someone who doesn't give off positive vibes. Next time, we will add to this and take things further.
I would love to hear from you at the end of this week and hear how you found it.
Day Eight will be coming out next!
Enjoy the Real Love Challenge,
Patricia Benjamin
Life Coach
Love & Relationship Coach
Radio Talk Show Host
BEFFTA Best Radio Personality
Sound Women 200
Christian Women in Media Intl
Top 100 Most Influential Black People in Digital/Social Media
Email: Askpatricia@me.com
Facebook: Ask Patricia
Twitter: @Ask_Patricia
iTunes: Real Love Show

Tuesday, 3 February 2015