Tuesday, 17 October 2017
Saturday, 28 January 2017
I was talking to a close friend last week and something she said really made me ponder.
Her aunt's husband had just died and her aunt was sharing memories of their last time together. When she left him in the hospital bed that evening she had left feeling contented, happy and at peace. John had seemed like he was getting stronger and had been very lively and even playful. As she walked out and went home she was looking forward to coming back and seeing him the next day.
However when she reached home some hours later she received the call that John had passed.
She was devastated. She had not been looking for that at all.
She told my friend that night he had even told her "Jane, I really love you, you know". She had replied "John I really love you too". She told my friend that she hadn't heard those words in years.
As my friend continued to share, those words continued to arrest me. This couple had been happily enough married for over 50 years. They had raised a family together. They had run businesses together, gone on exotic faraway vacations together; yet it had been made years since he had told his wife he loved her.
It made me think and ask myself, why do so many of us find it hard to articulate our feelings of love. Why do some men rarely if ever tell their wives they love them? Is it unnecessary after the honeymoon stage? Should she just know? Or has life and it's pressures and woes taken the love away?
As human beings we need love. Babies die from lack of attention and lack of care and lack of demonstrated love. Adults die too. They die emotionally as their heart holds a vacuum that isn't being filled.
Can we show and tell of our love today to our loved one. Tell your wife you love her. Say it in front of your children. It's powerful. It will show them how to love their wives too. A wife will always respect and honour a man who loves her and is not afraid to say it or show it. Your words will beautify her also. She will reflect the love and care she is receiving. A woman who is loved is always beautiful.
Don't lock up your words. Let them out.
Even, why not write a letter? A love letter. Those romantic, old fashioned things. Bring them back is what I say.
Apart from romantic love, let's tell those in our lives who really matter; who we're so glad we had the privilege of knowing in this lifetime; who we were blessed they crossed our paths; tell them they are honoured and loved.
Please don't wait until your time on earth is over and you are about to transition into the eternal realm before you say those powerful words "I Love You".
Sunday, 24 January 2016
Afternoon musings. ....
Is it always worth being right?
I mean what if you reach the ripe old age of 80 and you have no real friends around you because you spent life just keeping to yourself? What if at every real or imagined slight you just withdrew?
It may be okay to be alone, able and fiercely independent but what about being old and alone, not so able and sadly independent? Does that work?
Can we go through life without acquiring the grace to forgive people, or simply overlook stuff. Doesn't unforgiveness lead to bitterness? Bitterness has it's way of working itself out in the physical body causing dis-ease.
To have friends Proverbs tell us we must first show ourselves to be friendly.
We all will find that one day we need people. We need friends....
Just thinking. ....
Life and Relationship Coach
Thursday, 7 January 2016
I hope you're fired up for 2016 and I've listed below 10 elements you can integrate into your life to ensure an excellent year both personal and professional.
1. Take Yourself Seriously.
2. You're a reflection of your circle so really think about if everyone you spend significant time with is going the same direction as you. Think if you really want another year of more of the same type and quality of relationship.
3. Are you setting the right kind of foundation in your life to win? What books are you reading? Are you still growing intellectually? Are you growing spiritually? Are you curious about life and ready to learn?
4. Faith is key but faith still needs a plan. Enough said. Don't get over spiritual!
5. Not just talking a good game but it's time to say "show me the money". Remember, know your value and charge your worth when it comes to business. People who can't afford to pay you or are unwilling to pay you or are forever seeking discounts are not your target market.
6. Feed your bank account and not your ego. Being popular isn't going to pay your bills. Likes on facebook cant buy groceries. So set specific weekly, monthly and quarterly business goals as well as yearly goals. Get a financial strategy that works for your business.
7. Don't just copy other people who seem to be succeeding. Don't just be a "wanna bee". Do you and do it well. Whatever works for you and your business do that and do it better.
8. Find people several steps ahead of you in your field and learn from them. Follow them on social media. Listen to their seminars. Read their books. See what you can adapt and adopt for your business and personal life.
9. Don't neglect you. Remember No is a complete sentence and it's a power word. Protect your me time and your down time. You won't succeed long term if you neglect yourself.
10. Always keep adjusting. Nothing is written in stone. If you need to make a change here or there don't be afraid to. Get ego out the way and follow the better way when revealed to you.
Life and Relationship Coach
Email at Patricia@highlyfabulousconsulting.com
Sunday, 3 January 2016
Try to put some money away each week. Prioritise between your needs and wants and really focus on you and your child's needs. If there is any money left over, save it.
Start to grow your circle of positive people in your life who age trying to make the most of themselves professionally and personally. At the same time drastically reduce from your life those who are negative and unproductive.
Protect your child Emotionally
Try not to let your children know you are finding life difficult or challenging, especially when they are quite young. They may see you struggling but you don't want them to feel insecure or unstable about life or the environment. Children need stability emotionally as well as physically and you will help to provide this. If you need an emotional outlet this is where your friends and circle come in.
Reduce feelings of overwhelm by breaking your life down in manageable chunks. This means that you look at each one by itself, instead of looking at all of them at once. Chunks may be your health, your finances, your friends, your career, etc
Don't leave your job until you find another one, even if you really hate it.
When it comes time for you to relax (and this is vital to your own well-being) do ask a close family member or trusted friends to stay with your child. Even if you don't have loads to spend there are many things you can do for fun that cost little or no money. But please always take time for yourself. You matter. You count.
Get Motivated About Life
Never give up on yourself or on your future. You can have a powerful future and life will not be this tough forever. Make a financial plan, stick to it, and live day by day.
Find a mentor who can encourage you to set small interim goals for your progress.
Ask for Help
Success is asking for help when you need it. Humility is greatness. No one in life gets anywhere significant without the help of others. You cannot live in a vacuum. And when you are in a position to help someone else, send the elevator back down!
Invest in Yourself
Expand your education at every opportunity. There are many free and low cost courses online as well as a plethora of information on a number of topics. Libraries offer free training in IT as well as Internet access for free. A great place to start .
Where possible keep the access clear for visits and interaction with the father of your child.
Empirical evidence shows boys and girls need their fathers in their lives. As well, fathers need to provide practical and financial support towards the child regardless of whether you are together as they are his responsibility.
Life and Relationship Coach
Saturday, 12 December 2015
Hi guys, how's your weekend going. I'm having a mental and emotional clear out. Like Eminem I am cleaning out my closets.
It's a really empowering thing to do. Making decisions about what I want and don't want and then making that push to throw out what's no longer needed or wanted.
I'm aiming to get things done and to make my life clutter-free. Once I've cleared all the clutter, life becomes easier to control.
The more control I have, the more motivated I feel.
It's surprising how many people carry around with them a lot of excess luggage or clutter. The emotional tensions and regrets make up a big part of this clutter. The ‘if only' and ‘why did this happen', and the ‘coulda shoulda' are plenty.
Well all mine are going in the bin. Today. Making space for 2016. Which is going to be super fabulous by the way :)
While Ive been clearing out, a couple of old friends come to mind. I'll call them Adrian and Darlene, great couple. One day, they had an argument over something and they stopped speaking to each other. Within a month, both missed the companionship of the other, and regretted the break up. However, they waited for the other person to make the first move to start over again. It never happened. They drifted apart, but the feeling of regret stayed with them. Both of them have confessed to mutual friends that it has affected their lives. What a waste!
I hate hearing things like that. It's so unnecessary and speaks of an unwillingness to admit you may have been wrong. Even if you are, it's not the end of the world. And isn't a loving happy relationship worth overcoming your pride for?
I see people old and lonely because they always have to be right. No one is right all the time. What's the harm in a simple apology? Or giving a peace offering? Or just making the first move? Someone has to step up!
A good relationship is worth it. I don't know where that thought came from but perhaps I needed to share it for someone today.
Well back to clearing out my emotional and mental closet - I've asked myself these questions. The answers are helping me gain clarity. It means I have to be really honest and face up to things. But I'm doing it anyway. I already feel lighter. Motivated. In control. On track. Maybe you can use them too. Here you go!
1. Putting up with….
• List 10 things that I am putting up with at home
• List 10 things that I am putting up with in my business
• List 10 things that I am putting up with in my love life
• List 10 things that I am putting up with in my friendships
Time to weed out or communicate these things that I've been putting up with
2. Unfinished matters…
• List out all the things in my life that I feel are unresolved/unfinished
• Create a plan to reduce this number. Write it down.
• Do I need to clear the air with anyone? If so, just do it! Life is too short!
• Is there someone I'm supposed to call or keep in touch with but failed to find time for? If yes, call them or send an email right away!
3. My standards…..
• Write down the standards that I have told myself I have to match. OK, so now let go of them and create a new list. These should be the standards that I am going to have in my life from this day onwards.
I hope you like these and find them useful.
Enjoy your weekend :)
Life and Relationship Coach
Tuesday, 1 December 2015
Meanwhile experiencing loneliness, sexual frustration, loss of motherhood opportunity, pity from others, feeling she has failed, feeling disappointed with life and even anger at God himself. All understandable.
Life & Relationship Coach
Radio Talk Show Host | The Real Love Show