tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67284368305107915742024-02-19T17:57:32.621-08:00Real Love ShowAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.comBlogger77125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-89991502065535983872017-10-17T20:08:00.001-07:002017-10-17T20:08:51.629-07:007 Habits of Highly Fabulous Women by Dr Patricia Benjamin A highly motivational piece that will encourage you to reach for all life has for you.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-50533302372082384362017-01-28T03:58:00.001-08:002017-01-28T03:59:19.766-08:00Is It So Hard to Say "I Love You?".<p dir="ltr"><br>
I was talking to a close friend last week and something she said really made me ponder.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Her aunt's husband had just died and her aunt was sharing memories of their last time together. When she left him in the hospital bed that evening she had left feeling contented, happy and at peace. John had seemed like he was getting stronger and had been very lively and even playful. As she walked out and went home she was looking forward to coming back and seeing him the next day. </p>
<p dir="ltr">However when she reached home some hours later she received the call that John had passed.</p>
<p dir="ltr">She was devastated. She had not been looking for that at all.</p>
<p dir="ltr">She told my friend that night he had even told her "Jane, I really love you, you know". She had replied "John I really love you too". She told my friend that she hadn't heard those words in years.</p>
<p dir="ltr">As my friend continued to share, those words continued to arrest me. This couple had been happily enough married for over 50 years. They had raised a family together. They had run businesses together, gone on exotic faraway vacations together; yet it had been made years since he had told his wife he loved her.</p>
<p dir="ltr">It made me think and ask myself, why do so many of us find it hard to articulate our feelings of love. Why do some men rarely if ever tell their wives they love them? Is it unnecessary after the honeymoon stage? Should she just know? Or has life and it's pressures and woes taken the love away? </p>
<p dir="ltr">As human beings we need love. Babies die from lack of attention and lack of care and lack of demonstrated love. Adults die too. They die emotionally as their heart holds a vacuum that isn't being filled.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Can we show and tell of our love today to our loved one. Tell your wife you love her. Say it in front of your children. It's powerful. It will show them how to love their wives too. A wife will always respect and honour a man who loves her and is not afraid to say it or show it. Your words will beautify her also. She will reflect the love and care she is receiving. A woman who is loved is always beautiful. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Don't lock up your words. Let them out. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Even, why not write a letter? A love letter. Those romantic, old fashioned things. Bring them back is what I say.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Apart from romantic love, let's tell those in our lives who really matter; who we're so glad we had the privilege of knowing in this lifetime; who we were blessed they crossed our paths; tell them they are honoured and loved. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Please don't wait until your time on earth is over and you are about to transition into the eternal realm before you say those powerful words "I Love You".</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAoicnC8NRBNaSc5ASSWMW03m74bZNBlU3MNXFL-EX_WSU-7KoAMpYUPvvepa5pOrOUxh35wTjzpe9UGb9BJJM2XNZGOf8Tf08HMdVQNrDEF81B3ScK1E-m2W57wU1RrZzsJU6buUGTZdR/s1600/FB_IMG_1455006846141.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAoicnC8NRBNaSc5ASSWMW03m74bZNBlU3MNXFL-EX_WSU-7KoAMpYUPvvepa5pOrOUxh35wTjzpe9UGb9BJJM2XNZGOf8Tf08HMdVQNrDEF81B3ScK1E-m2W57wU1RrZzsJU6buUGTZdR/s640/FB_IMG_1455006846141.jpg"> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMZReZuxeNzCZwG8LG78c_RZJfcac4U3gK_GZUxYsMAYczpioj8Xerl8kiuZUdea7wpHo9_mO61l9OGQXbzvl9yspglKJ9uf_Y-EcTwBKIXrAQrHfVpWsPa4wfOURTIRBF9jzkoh4Zwrv3/s1600/Screen%25252Bshot%25252B2012-01-29%25252Bat%25252B1.45.07%25252BPM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMZReZuxeNzCZwG8LG78c_RZJfcac4U3gK_GZUxYsMAYczpioj8Xerl8kiuZUdea7wpHo9_mO61l9OGQXbzvl9yspglKJ9uf_Y-EcTwBKIXrAQrHfVpWsPa4wfOURTIRBF9jzkoh4Zwrv3/s640/Screen%25252Bshot%25252B2012-01-29%25252Bat%25252B1.45.07%25252BPM.png"> </a> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-2247693782775366802016-01-24T07:43:00.002-08:002016-01-24T07:43:20.215-08:00Weekend musings<br />
Afternoon musings. ....<br />
<br />
Is it always worth being right?<br />
<br />
I mean what if you reach the ripe old age of 80 and you have no real friends around you because you spent life just keeping to yourself? What if at every real or imagined slight you just withdrew?<br />
<br />
It may be okay to be alone, able and fiercely independent but what about being old and alone, not so able and sadly independent? Does that work?<br />
<br />
Can we go through life without acquiring the grace to forgive people, or simply overlook stuff. Doesn't unforgiveness lead to bitterness? Bitterness has it's way of working itself out in the physical body causing dis-ease.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinbavInvYxihFgXBKrKQBNsVxR0WHACPthDiJWGCcyJEhERNugmmPSlPo9IScWOY817uM79usbfprLDGRGXN7BexbVJ4OjI0rVyaVoOtj5y2hKFcbL7os3p84WBqRdUIHwwnIC-TnnbTJW/s1600/FB_IMG_1453545495465.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinbavInvYxihFgXBKrKQBNsVxR0WHACPthDiJWGCcyJEhERNugmmPSlPo9IScWOY817uM79usbfprLDGRGXN7BexbVJ4OjI0rVyaVoOtj5y2hKFcbL7os3p84WBqRdUIHwwnIC-TnnbTJW/s320/FB_IMG_1453545495465.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
To have friends Proverbs tell us we must first show ourselves to be friendly.<br />
<br />
We all will find that one day we need people. We need friends....<br />
<br />
Just thinking. ....<br />
<br />
Patricia Benjamin<br />
Life and Relationship Coach<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-21144920283413587862016-01-07T08:05:00.000-08:002016-01-07T08:05:36.306-08:00Get Your Life in 20162016 is Your Time!<br />
<br />
I hope you're fired up for 2016 and I've listed below 10 elements you can integrate into your life to ensure an excellent year both personal and professional. <br />
<br />
1. Take Yourself Seriously.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuEbfMfFqUp_WwBH7eOmbDp_sTVDgCZDYpa_Ip9siOO1QRaH2ZuNlqDBMrOnGa4Iksb89Z_F0wWOSNA5FpZcU_FE9XpKokgOkRRKIcEHCFCMBTOTseHqgeUD8_kcckyUep3FKvYoVYSphI/s1600/TakeYourselfSeriously_2013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuEbfMfFqUp_WwBH7eOmbDp_sTVDgCZDYpa_Ip9siOO1QRaH2ZuNlqDBMrOnGa4Iksb89Z_F0wWOSNA5FpZcU_FE9XpKokgOkRRKIcEHCFCMBTOTseHqgeUD8_kcckyUep3FKvYoVYSphI/s320/TakeYourselfSeriously_2013.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Don't keep saying you will go with the flow. That means you have no plan, no goal, no destination, you're just reacting to what life throws at you. Your life must be lived on purpose. Life isn't a dress rehearsal. This is it. If you're an entrepreneur or solopreneur take your business serious and take a business approach, every single day.<br />
<br />
2. You're a reflection of your circle so really think about if everyone you spend significant time with is going the same direction as you. Think if you really want another year of more of the same type and quality of relationship.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC7-1tdvDbdEExq7l4vksmGOI2zDvKTJJPjFlpbr6NJo4uPo37HaM_9cbb0BLVFEgO06oJgcEtRcGpUe5cnvSwnqYfaFHBWQsk9nhA3-_sv6vbc0n0LjVVSmoShC3OFTc9qGstRVhkClFg/s1600/12080672_748681411900719_968422287_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC7-1tdvDbdEExq7l4vksmGOI2zDvKTJJPjFlpbr6NJo4uPo37HaM_9cbb0BLVFEgO06oJgcEtRcGpUe5cnvSwnqYfaFHBWQsk9nhA3-_sv6vbc0n0LjVVSmoShC3OFTc9qGstRVhkClFg/s1600/12080672_748681411900719_968422287_n.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
3. Are you setting the right kind of foundation in your life to win? What books are you reading? Are you still growing intellectually? Are you growing spiritually? Are you curious about life and ready to learn? <br />
<br />
4. Faith is key but faith still needs a plan. Enough said. Don't get over spiritual!<br />
<br />
5. Not just talking a good game but it's time to say "show me the money". Remember, know your value and charge your worth when it comes to business. People who can't afford to pay you or are unwilling to pay you or are forever seeking discounts are not your target market.<br />
<br />
6. Feed your bank account and not your ego. Being popular isn't going to pay your bills. Likes on facebook cant buy groceries. So set specific weekly, monthly and quarterly business goals as well as yearly goals. Get a financial strategy that works for your business. <br />
<br />
7. Don't just copy other people who seem to be succeeding. Don't just be a "wanna bee". Do you and do it well. Whatever works for you and your business do that and do it better.<br />
<br />
8. Find people several steps ahead of you in your field and learn from them. Follow them on social media. Listen to their seminars. Read their books. See what you can adapt and adopt for your business and personal life.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkUHetbrAlC8BwDwvt86juJMxRQGJsIVTlffoxgzhUEy8P7VqpP0zPAuYOJ-M0OGNA68O-JgVoJ6HilOYq_BUL8IgPgS-cx98Ydh0HFz_lVG2aFyA-wO6vSjd8guiYw_Rb6BcnPVU1oVBx/s1600/GET-YOUR-LIFE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkUHetbrAlC8BwDwvt86juJMxRQGJsIVTlffoxgzhUEy8P7VqpP0zPAuYOJ-M0OGNA68O-JgVoJ6HilOYq_BUL8IgPgS-cx98Ydh0HFz_lVG2aFyA-wO6vSjd8guiYw_Rb6BcnPVU1oVBx/s1600/GET-YOUR-LIFE.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
9. Don't neglect you. Remember No is a complete sentence and it's a power word. Protect your me time and your down time. You won't succeed long term if you neglect yourself.<br />
<br />
10. Always keep adjusting. Nothing is written in stone. If you need to make a change here or there don't be afraid to. Get ego out the way and follow the better way when revealed to you.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFbFjixQd3YFaa86xIa-RwzO7DY3E674VEdZ-Vy_7bNbWon-mCOKt0xRGxOPUA6CGs_yfC50tzcKGaqaW-yvdXeATVrx1mlz5hfwKDpc3qo5AGUgt6Xoi5VUKwfUBs13aVIYEvuxv2iP5X/s1600/2db8b657d5694ff1ec68f6fc2b6ea5ae.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFbFjixQd3YFaa86xIa-RwzO7DY3E674VEdZ-Vy_7bNbWon-mCOKt0xRGxOPUA6CGs_yfC50tzcKGaqaW-yvdXeATVrx1mlz5hfwKDpc3qo5AGUgt6Xoi5VUKwfUBs13aVIYEvuxv2iP5X/s1600/2db8b657d5694ff1ec68f6fc2b6ea5ae.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Patricia Benjamin<br />
Life and Relationship Coach<br />
Email at Patricia@highlyfabulousconsulting.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-21146630933963071802016-01-03T08:42:00.000-08:002016-01-03T08:42:01.374-08:00Helpful Hints for Lone Mums<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpjZe_ji4aGo9mSxCUUtZaBIPLsDvEYwjfyqYCHhq0JehZSvf-0HU0HZntvmiXHjfXJtJg8kuSEVCxSbq_bd_pAI5USkjnIiQJnMikp8llcjjVRltMXB18h3jfPsU1qS4jGkxX-Z1ln-OI/s1600/BpxTEl_CIAA4lFw.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpjZe_ji4aGo9mSxCUUtZaBIPLsDvEYwjfyqYCHhq0JehZSvf-0HU0HZntvmiXHjfXJtJg8kuSEVCxSbq_bd_pAI5USkjnIiQJnMikp8llcjjVRltMXB18h3jfPsU1qS4jGkxX-Z1ln-OI/s320/BpxTEl_CIAA4lFw.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Let's start<br />
<br />
Your Money<br />
<br />
Try to put some money away each week. Prioritise between your needs and wants and really focus on you and your child's needs. If there is any money left over, save it.<br />
<br />
Your Friends <br />
<br />
Start to grow your circle of positive people in your life who age trying to make the most of themselves professionally and personally. At the same time drastically reduce from your life those who are negative and unproductive.<br />
<br />
Protect your child Emotionally<br />
<br />
Try not to let your children know you are finding life difficult or challenging, especially when they are quite young. They may see you struggling but you don't want them to feel insecure or unstable about life or the environment. Children need stability emotionally as well as physically and you will help to provide this. If you need an emotional outlet this is where your friends and circle come in.<br />
<br />
Be Organised<br />
<br />
Reduce feelings of overwhelm by breaking your life down in manageable chunks. This means that you look at each one by itself, instead of looking at all of them at once. Chunks may be your health, your finances, your friends, your career, etc<br />
<br />
Be Practical <br />
<br />
Don't leave your job until you find another one, even if you really hate it.<br />
<br />
Down Time<br />
<br />
When it comes time for you to relax (and this is vital to your own well-being) do ask a close family member or trusted friends to stay with your child. Even if you don't have loads to spend there are many things you can do for fun that cost little or no money. But please always take time for yourself. You matter. You count.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIkEPG4_rtmGWZSbIe-k35QTa1KSZVXnjlXoskbnj1_lmWxmYMUJ1mS4mlH9-1syTx8PnlIK8JH08ouWHvA0F7vG8zC5pHRJyfl-OsLs8TglhSagCvzdRxrA2jBmFfVTWB6P5Wbz8dVGgn/s1600/8186170437_661bac7481.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIkEPG4_rtmGWZSbIe-k35QTa1KSZVXnjlXoskbnj1_lmWxmYMUJ1mS4mlH9-1syTx8PnlIK8JH08ouWHvA0F7vG8zC5pHRJyfl-OsLs8TglhSagCvzdRxrA2jBmFfVTWB6P5Wbz8dVGgn/s320/8186170437_661bac7481.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi46iB8Q4tUBM7LOmCBeg2p5MTASjP1xIbCaGrx-EJQPKfzImyoAvXLHse1wEpVufb4rjCvRFfs4R9I7dOn3SzF43qLjoLqJf9NgOEDdJHW0JlvsWC9eRbhtYA-7vdgKacNTrLrIovLBJMf/s1600/invest-in-yourself-first-tony-gaskins-quotes-sayings-pictures.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="307" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi46iB8Q4tUBM7LOmCBeg2p5MTASjP1xIbCaGrx-EJQPKfzImyoAvXLHse1wEpVufb4rjCvRFfs4R9I7dOn3SzF43qLjoLqJf9NgOEDdJHW0JlvsWC9eRbhtYA-7vdgKacNTrLrIovLBJMf/s320/invest-in-yourself-first-tony-gaskins-quotes-sayings-pictures.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<br />
Get Motivated About Life<br />
<br />
Never give up on yourself or on your future. You can have a powerful future and life will not be this tough forever. Make a financial plan, stick to it, and live day by day. <br />
<br />
Find a mentor who can encourage you to set small interim goals for your progress.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9KKfG7hY1JhCf8aXmsb_dzKXPakXMbI7LTSbmfjvcYKUKLQo5p4eqGvSDOX1TYFYl6-98EA7NkGRWNsybVRKf69_hdQY4EKsdNdco2atlp-ywGSDD_SGEjZAEiESQNdAAac__M8cLlQnp/s1600/GOALS2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9KKfG7hY1JhCf8aXmsb_dzKXPakXMbI7LTSbmfjvcYKUKLQo5p4eqGvSDOX1TYFYl6-98EA7NkGRWNsybVRKf69_hdQY4EKsdNdco2atlp-ywGSDD_SGEjZAEiESQNdAAac__M8cLlQnp/s320/GOALS2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Ask for Help<br />
<br />
Success is asking for help when you need it. Humility is greatness. No one in life gets anywhere significant without the help of others. You cannot live in a vacuum. And when you are in a position to help someone else, send the elevator back down!<br />
<br />
Invest in Yourself<br />
<br />
Expand your education at every opportunity. There are many free and low cost courses online as well as a plethora of information on a number of topics. Libraries offer free training in IT as well as Internet access for free. A great place to start .<br />
<br />
<br />
Fathers <br />
<br />
Where possible keep the access clear for visits and interaction with the father of your child.<br />
<br />
Empirical evidence shows boys and girls need their fathers in their lives. As well, fathers need to provide practical and financial support towards the child regardless of whether you are together as they are his responsibility.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGnO6MtP6EC__Lt3vKucqWRAPMgykl8vsvpcApeUZz0zTfz7k5k3bH_XFpODQhjmzTqTT4Z2OjrpA8lMSePRdd9Sfrr3MAK-GOIpScIQjr7kQ9eJK7QIGlsVpEomnHRgTI2jXF7RTjigNz/s1600/o-SINGLE-PARENT-facebook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="287" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGnO6MtP6EC__Lt3vKucqWRAPMgykl8vsvpcApeUZz0zTfz7k5k3bH_XFpODQhjmzTqTT4Z2OjrpA8lMSePRdd9Sfrr3MAK-GOIpScIQjr7kQ9eJK7QIGlsVpEomnHRgTI2jXF7RTjigNz/s320/o-SINGLE-PARENT-facebook.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
Patricia Benjamin<br />
Life and Relationship Coach<br />
www.highlyfabulousconsulting.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-43977599944048291762015-12-12T06:25:00.001-08:002015-12-12T06:28:08.633-08:00Cleaning Out My Closet!<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">Hi guys, how's your weekend going. I'm having a mental and emotional clear out. Like Eminem I am cleaning out my closets. </p>
<p dir="ltr">It's a really empowering thing to do. Making decisions about what I want and don't want and then making that push to throw out what's no longer needed or wanted. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I'm aiming  to get things done and to make my life clutter-free. Once I've cleared all the clutter, life becomes easier to control.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The more control I have, the more motivated I feel.</p>
<p dir="ltr">It's surprising how many people carry around with them a lot of excess luggage or clutter.  The emotional tensions and regrets make up a big part of this clutter. The  ‘if only' and ‘why did this happen',  and the ‘coulda shoulda' are plenty.  </p>
<p dir="ltr">Well all mine are going in the bin.  Today. Making space for 2016. Which is going to be super fabulous by the way :)</p>
<p dir="ltr">While Ive been clearing out, a couple of old friends come to mind. I'll call them Adrian and Darlene, great couple.  One day, they had an argument over something and they stopped speaking to each other. Within a month, both missed the companionship of the other, and regretted the break up. However, they waited for the other person  to make the first move to start over again. It never happened. They drifted apart, but the feeling of regret stayed with them. Both of them have  confessed to mutual friends that it has affected their lives. What a waste!</p>
<p dir="ltr">I hate hearing things like that. It's so unnecessary and speaks of an unwillingness to admit you may have been wrong.  Even if you are, it's not the end of the world. And isn't a loving happy relationship worth overcoming your pride for?</p>
<p dir="ltr">I see people old and lonely because they always have to be right.  No one is right all the time. What's the harm in a simple apology? Or giving a peace offering? Or just making the first move? Someone has to step up!</p>
<p dir="ltr">A good relationship is worth it. I don't know where that thought came from but perhaps I needed to share it for someone today. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Well back to clearing out my emotional and mental closet -  I've asked myself these questions. The answers are helping me gain clarity. It means I have to be really honest and face up to things. But I'm doing it anyway. I already feel lighter. Motivated. In control. On track.  Maybe you can use them too.  Here you go!</p>
<p dir="ltr">1. Putting up with….</p>
<p dir="ltr">• List 10 things that I am putting up with at home<br>
• List 10 things that I am putting up with in my business <br>
• List 10 things that I am putting up with in my love life<br>
• List 10 things that I am putting up with in my  friendships </p>
<p dir="ltr">Time to weed out or communicate these things that I've  been putting up with</p>
<p dir="ltr">2. Unfinished matters…</p>
<p dir="ltr">• List out all the things in my life that I  feel are unresolved/unfinished</p>
<p dir="ltr">• Create a plan to reduce this number. Write it down.</p>
<p dir="ltr">• Do I need to clear the air with anyone? If so, just do it! Life is too short!</p>
<p dir="ltr">• Is there someone I'm supposed to call or keep in touch with but failed to find time for? If yes, call them or send an email right away!</p>
<p dir="ltr">3. My standards…..</p>
<p dir="ltr">• Write down the standards that I have told myself I have to match. OK, so now  let go of them and create a new list. These should be the standards that I am going to have in my  life from this day onwards.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I hope you like these and find them useful.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Enjoy your weekend :)<br></p>
<p dir="ltr">Patricia Benjamin<br>
Life and Relationship Coach<br>
www.ruachradio.com<br>
</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGlEd1kbYRFD0wy_mU62U8aIh-_XLLCXQcedco4WyjCVGc-od05pykSmjwF9rbbBT_WOBkgzcL8sOES3p-Fsf-aPU1kUznvdUiqKHRxX9UEbEPTj_LVTs3Oa7IrZKasDIVoanHy9tiTveu/s1600/download.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGlEd1kbYRFD0wy_mU62U8aIh-_XLLCXQcedco4WyjCVGc-od05pykSmjwF9rbbBT_WOBkgzcL8sOES3p-Fsf-aPU1kUznvdUiqKHRxX9UEbEPTj_LVTs3Oa7IrZKasDIVoanHy9tiTveu/s640/download.png"> </a> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-1021499912003492032015-12-01T15:19:00.000-08:002015-12-02T07:53:35.571-08:00The Truth Behind Ruth and Boaz<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Sisters I have to write this post today as it won't leave me and I know someone somewhere needs to read it. Let's talk about Ruth and her beautiful love story.</div>
<div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb07UqBEe2QPlbL_K2l1AP_Yoeeujlmmh0j9H1-cO6E1ESvpnZAFQmwSpgMXwjXHk9B_JPWeZSGu8Zkp3-WUZsN26E0HCMjkCSURGI08SRAzk_qENM_6CpIEluAAofm5BAbtNmwQK4OuIz/s1600/hqdefault+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb07UqBEe2QPlbL_K2l1AP_Yoeeujlmmh0j9H1-cO6E1ESvpnZAFQmwSpgMXwjXHk9B_JPWeZSGu8Zkp3-WUZsN26E0HCMjkCSURGI08SRAzk_qENM_6CpIEluAAofm5BAbtNmwQK4OuIz/s320/hqdefault+%25282%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Well, you know how we are always hearing how Ruth waited for Boaz, her kinsman redeemer. So, she is the one our single sisters are meant to emulate while they wait on God for their husband. Such scriptures are quoted as 'He that finds a wife finds a good thing and has obtained favour of the Lord.' The Proverbs and 'Wait on The Lord and He will strengthen your heart' or 'Delight yourself in The Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.' Both from the Psalms of David.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_q6MJv3G_YI8_NM6Oq5eZ7PSHZHUmfCDTpGipy1HDVMfQbSNUB16aP-R5qMQ8YP2kClUPGo1WwVdC4KScdCEs_fkDdZclM2u05IcvVOeA9Yj4Cl7zKj47mGZ_T1x28nSelWstNHk8qJYg/s1600/58f4416f8492df76b54c67b895631429.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_q6MJv3G_YI8_NM6Oq5eZ7PSHZHUmfCDTpGipy1HDVMfQbSNUB16aP-R5qMQ8YP2kClUPGo1WwVdC4KScdCEs_fkDdZclM2u05IcvVOeA9Yj4Cl7zKj47mGZ_T1x28nSelWstNHk8qJYg/s1600/58f4416f8492df76b54c67b895631429.jpg" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
All quoted to encourage women to wait for The Lord to provide them with, or bring, Mr Right to them. When time begins to pass the women are told that they are not ready. That they must get ready. Work on themselves and deal with their stuff. If not this, then they are told God knows best and will bring the right man at the right time. And in the meantime don't go off with any of Boaz' cousins; Broke-Az, Drunk-Az, Cheating-Az, Goodfornothing-Az etc</div>
<div>
Fine, we get it!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwQ7GmrioDjkKq08xZqx-HYukHcXTFQHuVRcMA615YYikvp5SD85wMfK7tFQbV4C2DsOdGLrNanYA06CwhS_OIHgnH9NmkyTxfOuMkoB3qASaivcZuFFa9M_r_E4LRB7raZb3THVXyCnAQ/s1600/wait.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwQ7GmrioDjkKq08xZqx-HYukHcXTFQHuVRcMA615YYikvp5SD85wMfK7tFQbV4C2DsOdGLrNanYA06CwhS_OIHgnH9NmkyTxfOuMkoB3qASaivcZuFFa9M_r_E4LRB7raZb3THVXyCnAQ/s1600/wait.jpg" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Okay. I've been in church all my life and have heard this narrative many many times. But I am someone who likes to question.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I understand that God is a God who hears and answers prayer. I was taught that He will not give us a stone if we ask for bread nor a scorpion if we ask for egg.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I understand that Jesus taught us to pray invoking his name so that our joy would be full.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Now I fully believe God knows how the human body works and that he himself invented it. He understands the female anatomy and knows that a woman is most fertile in her late teens, twenties and into her early thirties.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Now, does God not realise this when He has all these women in the church waiting for 'the right time'?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2caR_BW3RmqmZD5a-3xZXV81k0MJqb8O1G5sn5Qew_B209Jj_RaY0KYppdreIlEs9YqZ9iPhFV3OPghe5sJLLKSZNZK0Mlnwx0E-ZHTpDTivkUKwStPpvWYBgBXmc-UdKWl_ejICwSYxQ/s1600/when.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2caR_BW3RmqmZD5a-3xZXV81k0MJqb8O1G5sn5Qew_B209Jj_RaY0KYppdreIlEs9YqZ9iPhFV3OPghe5sJLLKSZNZK0Mlnwx0E-ZHTpDTivkUKwStPpvWYBgBXmc-UdKWl_ejICwSYxQ/s320/when.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
What is a young woman in church who has been told The Lord will bring her husband at the right time supposed to think when she has been waiting and praying and Boaz hasn't shown his face and even if he has he has made no moves towards her.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Far be it from her to pursue him as that wouldn't be right. The man is the head. He is supposed to pursue her. So she keeps waiting, praying and hoping for Boaz.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiG32rjAXeHGp6HeQlcCigPAKIp5WiTwS0t58n_i6ga4-LLxlwFmLzqgXv685BlkCg2Mp6HwonSMOWINqjxagpdZpiBL1ofXzv5IUvpQlGh_LAed-Fl9Y2Qjv1a1dsfvKgLHCI5ifVN-_2/s1600/12081182_896629957087728_41771952_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiG32rjAXeHGp6HeQlcCigPAKIp5WiTwS0t58n_i6ga4-LLxlwFmLzqgXv685BlkCg2Mp6HwonSMOWINqjxagpdZpiBL1ofXzv5IUvpQlGh_LAed-Fl9Y2Qjv1a1dsfvKgLHCI5ifVN-_2/s1600/12081182_896629957087728_41771952_n.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
Meanwhile experiencing loneliness, sexual frustration, loss of motherhood opportunity, pity from others, feeling she has failed, feeling disappointed with life and even anger at God himself. All understandable.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Well, let's have a look at what Ruth did . Let's find out what her gameplay was. The sisters are always being told to look at and follow her example. Let's see......<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfHiMATLyBtcIE0TE16IQ-nezzgkwuM6PYyGWQr5SXe6zi1JnBKYQplxq0zMS1a57Mk2vj3C7tx8vvrBdN8GgEMvKSyVtMi18Vn4klze73bf3ayvrv82uus8rf4cEwWpDKqc-Hf8IDzsj8/s1600/raspberrybo1383229611527268ab20685.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfHiMATLyBtcIE0TE16IQ-nezzgkwuM6PYyGWQr5SXe6zi1JnBKYQplxq0zMS1a57Mk2vj3C7tx8vvrBdN8GgEMvKSyVtMi18Vn4klze73bf3ayvrv82uus8rf4cEwWpDKqc-Hf8IDzsj8/s320/raspberrybo1383229611527268ab20685.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I have to say on closer examination Ruth isn't quite the passive sister we have been told.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
In fact, Ruth (and Naomi) are very deliberate, focused, intentional and purposeful. Some may even say scheming.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It is noted that Ruth goes specifically to Boaz' field to glean. So she set her sights on the wealthy Boaz. Remember she was a widow with no children. Ruth knew she needed security and Boaz fitted the bill. We see no mention that Boaz approached her before that time. She went to his field. She comes home and tells Naomi about it. What do they do next? </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
They come up with a plan. Notice, no waiting here. None at all.<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
And brazen woman that she is, she waits until Boaz has finished eating and drinking and actually lies down at his feet and goes to sleep. In the morning when he awakes he is concerned for her reputation! What does that tell you about Ruth's actions?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Really! Seriously, I see no waiting here. In fact the more I examine the story I fail to see why Ruth has been used as the example of waiting for your perfect man to turn up. Or if you prefer, waiting for God to send your Boaz.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It seems to me it was a clever plan to capture Boaz and it worked.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidi30fPAOQGYpR9d4yvGksu3ZTUWtulRExbQlKnr6HHJmjfbe7IxL1PAzimSH3uHa0ecQT7gZgjxmrHY6cc_h3wN3M6MnSPQ7GK-lL_oMzmZZtYctadzVDhRqEXWZcp1Pzu1hjYDAueYHR/s1600/67e554b3ab4a2009d782be40aeae6c6e.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidi30fPAOQGYpR9d4yvGksu3ZTUWtulRExbQlKnr6HHJmjfbe7IxL1PAzimSH3uHa0ecQT7gZgjxmrHY6cc_h3wN3M6MnSPQ7GK-lL_oMzmZZtYctadzVDhRqEXWZcp1Pzu1hjYDAueYHR/s320/67e554b3ab4a2009d782be40aeae6c6e.jpg" width="226" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Perhaps we should stop telling sisters to simply pray and wait. Sisters should be praying in any case. When it comes to marriage women should recognise they have a part to play. Please don't think I'm telling you to sleep at the feet of your intended but you can be intentional. You can set out to make him notice you. You can make it plain that you are open to an approach.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I sincerely do not believe that God hasn't heard the countless thousands of prayers of women calling for him to send Boaz. God expects you to seek and find, to understand you must do something too. With prayer of course. But actions must go with the faith otherwise it's dead.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
If you want a new job you pray about it but you also take full responsibility in doing your part to seek and obtain that new role. Relationships are the same.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Just ask Ruth. She'll tell you how it's done.<br />
<br />
<br />
Patricia Benjamin<br />
Life & Relationship Coach<br />
Radio Talk Show Host | The Real Love Show<br />
www.highlyfabulousconsulting.com<br />
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-54172094733279381612015-10-22T02:11:00.000-07:002015-10-24T13:36:32.004-07:00Rip Your Runway!<div dir="ltr">
Paying attention to our health is central to our enjoying a happy and successful life.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3mRZHwf5i0nwGWH4tQQzhtGklA3iFD8ldOAl_9ELdOrwDyyLGX0mDK-BWe_1sUxhv5kiPkQQCeyKZgyque0RFr2A6XwEJ8EMNCpyzf2pIxYYTFe5lI7OGERUigk-B5COV6pbHj5G0WC0D/s1600/8a6e6b1d008289ec54fc9b22eff16158.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3mRZHwf5i0nwGWH4tQQzhtGklA3iFD8ldOAl_9ELdOrwDyyLGX0mDK-BWe_1sUxhv5kiPkQQCeyKZgyque0RFr2A6XwEJ8EMNCpyzf2pIxYYTFe5lI7OGERUigk-B5COV6pbHj5G0WC0D/s1600/8a6e6b1d008289ec54fc9b22eff16158.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Our inner and outer health work together and are entirely co-dependent. You cannot have one without the other. The universal Law of Cause and Effect dictates if we have a health mindset it is impossible for this not to be reflected outwardly.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
What we must first do then is to Take Responsibility for our physical health, how we feel about ourselves and the way we look. This is our choice... The way we look, apart from our genetics, is largely down to us and no one else.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIfZYcHvpHqj4j-Ta_qtpvsWexCXAXt3LxZSi7vcPnJngbRekhWtlT26lS4crr-xLeA7KiyAMOtEeKnE_kj0-RPaCY3bh7dOMIExOQInCMjlm8F_c02arwt5nbPonSqNZ9uiJc0WDp2VP-/s1600/Screen+Shot+2015-01-30+at+9.52.11+AM_zpsrkvbbahm.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIfZYcHvpHqj4j-Ta_qtpvsWexCXAXt3LxZSi7vcPnJngbRekhWtlT26lS4crr-xLeA7KiyAMOtEeKnE_kj0-RPaCY3bh7dOMIExOQInCMjlm8F_c02arwt5nbPonSqNZ9uiJc0WDp2VP-/s320/Screen+Shot+2015-01-30+at+9.52.11+AM_zpsrkvbbahm.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
If we petite and slender we can love every inch, if we are large and curvy we can embrace them. If we want to lose or gain weight we can make the decision to do so. We do not need to look in the mirror and hate what we see.<br />
<br />
Help is available if we need help to make the adjustments. If we need help with our nutrition, help is at hand; if we need to add a customized exercise plan to our daily routine and generally be more active; help is there.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br />
Beyond pure aesthetics, our physical health plays a key role in how we live and run our lives. It affects whether we have the energy to invest in our families, our relationships, to give to our careers.<br />
<br />
Having good health means we will be around to enjoy the fruit of our labour. It means our family can enjoy having us around for a long time. Your partner will have your beauty and love in his life for as long as possible and you will enjoy having a body that gives you what you demand of it. Clearly, neglecting ourselves is not an option!</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br />
Our emotional health is part of our profile and is very often affected by high levels of stress.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Stress can show in our bodies in a myriad of ways: headaches, feelings of sluggishness, poor sleep patterns, weight gain, constant anxiety, high blood pressure and the like. We are all stressed from time to time, and in fact some stress can be good if channelled currently.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVRnGs4TZdnqpa90q2-TsvjHrl3A9O6NyoP3rcTCqgaipF70mP0qvMqkRVz9wprtzY6up1-zfLibErdJUu-nQ7ugTTTHz9_bGHq7fNMGBB0fl4lrCfb9p5_qYYCdAdB9H8bdp_n02RsT8B/s1600/stress-pic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVRnGs4TZdnqpa90q2-TsvjHrl3A9O6NyoP3rcTCqgaipF70mP0qvMqkRVz9wprtzY6up1-zfLibErdJUu-nQ7ugTTTHz9_bGHq7fNMGBB0fl4lrCfb9p5_qYYCdAdB9H8bdp_n02RsT8B/s320/stress-pic.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
How we handle stress affects our emotional well being. The most important thing to do is to identify the source or reason for the anxiety and face it. Once we have faced up to it we can take steps to deal with it. Do not allow it to fester and build, get outside help if necessary.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br />
Forget about being super mom or superwoman. The truth is she never really existed, everyone needs help and no woman is an island.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br />
In today’s highly pressured, fast paced and instant society, taking time for self is not a luxury but an absolute must. Time spent on you, and for you, is never time wasted, or time that could have been better spent.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
We are all, on some level, whether consciously or subconsciously, seeking peace. This time will help you achieve it. Schedule ‘me-time’ as part of your daily and monthly routine.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Choose activities that relax you, inspire you, nurture you, affirm you and which blow away the cobwebs. <br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Here are some favourites, add your own:-<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
•Enjoy laughter (a cheerful heart is like good medicine)<br />
•Have a Girls Night In/Out<br />
•Book a massage<br />
•Run a perfumed bubble bath, use your best body oils and pamper your skin<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDema9ilWDgUf011L0A8M9JqVy4laDleUYMUepbxbj-QcP2ur82AITCaJwCDHuNYltExgLyp-ge8CBvMIWg4asF3Ka4WQK2gaP0WaPguK8IDJZ84kPJjdbHxfkKg_K4hDV-solKG7PRfug/s1600/5-Relaxing-At-Home-Spa-Secrets-2014.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="178" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDema9ilWDgUf011L0A8M9JqVy4laDleUYMUepbxbj-QcP2ur82AITCaJwCDHuNYltExgLyp-ge8CBvMIWg4asF3Ka4WQK2gaP0WaPguK8IDJZ84kPJjdbHxfkKg_K4hDV-solKG7PRfug/s320/5-Relaxing-At-Home-Spa-Secrets-2014.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
•Play music that makes you feel good<br />
•Dance like no-one watching<br />
•Run or walk daily<br />
•Enjoy good sex with the one you love<br />
•Admire the beauty of a magnificent sunset<br />
•Keep a journal<br />
•Celebrate your achievements, don’t wait for someone else to validate you<br />
•Get a makeover<br />
•Smile deeply<br />
•Pray and give thanks<br />
•Have some Belgian chocolate (sometimes it’s nice to be naughty!)<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Well, it goes without saying that with our physical and emotional health being on the up and up, it is a no-brainer to recognize that you are going to be feeling pretty good about your fine self! So your personal and body image will, as a matter of course, be positive!<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
You will appreciate your body and what it can do and how good it can look. Your beauty will start from within, from your core and your state of mind. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcl9hFmnq5Q4Z4BD-jzeckcQRWkkM6hKGxjqmSjU0Q9V_dxUNskb4fSSJnvJO-s1jpxjHmWgmUQlY8hbxGvPPXFtUC3LEQ1jjf3TRPhm69LxoKBR3v6DC2zL2XoHt2Vrpo9MHGhT91r3hE/s1600/black-career-girl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcl9hFmnq5Q4Z4BD-jzeckcQRWkkM6hKGxjqmSjU0Q9V_dxUNskb4fSSJnvJO-s1jpxjHmWgmUQlY8hbxGvPPXFtUC3LEQ1jjf3TRPhm69LxoKBR3v6DC2zL2XoHt2Vrpo9MHGhT91r3hE/s320/black-career-girl.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<br />
Forget what the media says about the way you should look and ignore the unrealistic and impossible to achieve images it presents. Many of these models are not healthy and have eating disorders in order to stay in these industries. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br />
Your positive body image comes from knowing how fantastic you really are and knowing you are doing all in your power to look and stay healthy.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
So walk with your shoulders back, your head up and sport a beautiful smile, which is the prettiest thing you can wear!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhorjmwInvRHq6br5pgsO5jRc8DogIz3cikFcZDcex4vpfHNzE8X0RMWakJDvq9vEeuKuYnYNyp94-v3yRoA5K3J7JueLCfG4fWnycgWpztCpH2ziA0IzvUkAX65R5UMGruv4sUOq8ZJ9ji/s1600/cbc25890a248f8967102da3ee284d321.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhorjmwInvRHq6br5pgsO5jRc8DogIz3cikFcZDcex4vpfHNzE8X0RMWakJDvq9vEeuKuYnYNyp94-v3yRoA5K3J7JueLCfG4fWnycgWpztCpH2ziA0IzvUkAX65R5UMGruv4sUOq8ZJ9ji/s320/cbc25890a248f8967102da3ee284d321.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Have a strong, purposeful and confident stride as you step out onto the catwalk of your life, and Rip your Runway.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-28675701730161953792015-10-21T05:52:00.002-07:002015-10-22T02:11:42.405-07:00Forgiveness - Easier Said Than Done <div dir="ltr">
<br />
On waking this morning I had this thought:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir9Q9hPF7u7AgWiuw7rEcQRMFv32H_9TqOfE5-3LAAwXSdTbqtwWkCSPqZ5Fde8CXtfCGa62aIRjW6Qbrw-CcVoIrOjc5M8tF2WEa2rxhb0V4dBTwDNDssC6MGNbvWJSZtRW7ZADL1x4Ov/s1600/forgive1-640x480.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir9Q9hPF7u7AgWiuw7rEcQRMFv32H_9TqOfE5-3LAAwXSdTbqtwWkCSPqZ5Fde8CXtfCGa62aIRjW6Qbrw-CcVoIrOjc5M8tF2WEa2rxhb0V4dBTwDNDssC6MGNbvWJSZtRW7ZADL1x4Ov/s320/forgive1-640x480.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Forgiveness comes up so many times when it comes to achieving personal freedom and inner healing.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Sometimes that forgiveness seems the hardest thing to do. How do you forgive someone who has hurt you time and time again. How do you forgive an abuser? How do you forgive the one who broke your heart</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Yet we find its the precursor to begin living again and indeed loving again.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwCPbps_yKs_RGK3RjaPrIDhuD3vUlTsf2U_NViUDIhcCpERk6uZoTPgRBk1h4lPYrLCzAxD6gaJDPjNfFzTkZEFFF4jVACdVRMlxwyXaA1N9qHhia_ZSmHFrZutEYR3VIvYlkWE43MZJp/s1600/Forgiveness_zpsc5425873.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwCPbps_yKs_RGK3RjaPrIDhuD3vUlTsf2U_NViUDIhcCpERk6uZoTPgRBk1h4lPYrLCzAxD6gaJDPjNfFzTkZEFFF4jVACdVRMlxwyXaA1N9qHhia_ZSmHFrZutEYR3VIvYlkWE43MZJp/s320/Forgiveness_zpsc5425873.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I thought I would share some points to bear in mind once we realise that the next step in our journey to wholeness and inner joy is the forgiveness process. I did say process because that's exactly what it is.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
First remember by forgiving we are not saying their behaviour was ok; neither does it mean they get away scott-free or that you've given up your rights. Not at all.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
What it does mean is that you are going to step out of the way and leave them to God who knows the heart of all men. It also means you no longer bear that weight you were carrying around. It gets you out of the prison of torment that you've been in, especially as you recall and revisit in your mind the way they hurt you. It also removes you from being their judge.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
When someone decides to stay in unforgiveness they need to understand that this merely damages themselves. It hurts only them. They are the ones living with bitterness, anger, even hatred. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
This actually poisons you emotionally and then physically. Your body will store that emotion in your organs and can lead to dis-ease. Doctors tell us that these types of emotions stored in the body are many times what is behind such sicknesses as growths, tumours, cancers, arthritis. So forgiveness is powerful. We see why it leads to inner healing and personal freedom.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Take a quiet moment and bring to mind that person who hurt you. As you picture them in your mind actually say clearly that you forgive them and say what you forgive them for.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Next tell them you release them and you cut and sever the emotional and soul ties that bound you to them.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Ask God to give you his peace.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeaBki9KbWRkbknGe8jqCy4I-jRj6hdOv09DPM02LcpCg9NezNb7OvRy6_AkQjteMZ9vcQkG1c7a6C2ZF9NJrOoVCzvBhj0wZcQh944L7BPEcEC7HhpBOOxpHwcQSHPQrN-WSKaS909f7W/s1600/Nothings+Too+Hard+For+God+copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeaBki9KbWRkbknGe8jqCy4I-jRj6hdOv09DPM02LcpCg9NezNb7OvRy6_AkQjteMZ9vcQkG1c7a6C2ZF9NJrOoVCzvBhj0wZcQh944L7BPEcEC7HhpBOOxpHwcQSHPQrN-WSKaS909f7W/s320/Nothings+Too+Hard+For+God+copy.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Don't doubt the effect of what you've just done. Just speaking these words with feeling is enough. Remember words are real. They carry the spirit in which they were uttered. Scriptures tell us that life and death is in the power of the tongue. Your words will work. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Important. It doesn't now mean you carry on with a toxic or otherwise unhealthy relationship. It's fine to forgive and release and leave it there. Move on with your life.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Remember I said a little earlier that it's a process. Sometimes we may experience feelings of hurt or we recall something that was said, or something happens that triggers the memory, if you feel sorrow or hurt or anger that doesn't mean you haven't forgiven. But what you can do is repeat the process but specifically address this issue that has raised it head and include that in your forgiveness declaration/prayer. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgslU_xbfV1XLpY0jP22zfyazYJ4Nb5m65FiP-r5MkBKR7jH5PbkK3S99E-az0PvqfXf048Oae6EUsMIHhyphenhyphenon2b6Sl1N4XuolZrbkdIOkSma9PC-ACVB97RX7yMH8qrRc9rGP5LImgPv6KL/s1600/jpg-500x334.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgslU_xbfV1XLpY0jP22zfyazYJ4Nb5m65FiP-r5MkBKR7jH5PbkK3S99E-az0PvqfXf048Oae6EUsMIHhyphenhyphenon2b6Sl1N4XuolZrbkdIOkSma9PC-ACVB97RX7yMH8qrRc9rGP5LImgPv6KL/s320/jpg-500x334.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
On a recent episode of the Real Love Show we speak to a young woman who was physically abused while growing up by her mother and she tells us that forgiveness was integral to her gaining the freedom she now enjoys - <a href="https://m.mixcloud.com/askpatricia/real-love-show-mother-and-daughter-dysfunctional-love/" target="_blank">listen in here</a></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
If you want more personal help and you would like someone to work with you personally as your coach, please email me at Patricia@highlyfabulousconsulting.com and I will respond. Do visit me at <a href="http://highlyfabulousconsulting.com/meet-patricia/" target="_blank">www.highlyfabulousconsulting.com</a> and find out more.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Patricia Benjamin<br />
Life and Relationship Coach<br />
BEFFTA Best Radio Personality <br />
Sound Women 200<br />
Christian Women in Media<br />
Highly Fabulous Consulting </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-30290198821354455222015-10-15T06:14:00.000-07:002015-10-15T12:28:15.146-07:0020 Declarations for a Powerful Purpose Driven Life<br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">Abuse isn't only physical because immense damage can be done to your inner man, your emotional well being, through vicious, cruel and hateful words. Its called emotional and mental abuse. And no, its not ok.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">If you've endured that and are now in the process of healing these words will help. </span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">Words may have torn you down but recognise words are a two edged sword, able to cut and yet able to heal.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisczGni1qLq51F_zvHmze3111h-knma-fA8pJyD-GewUlPtQWxoikC-rYrkWwdZFmFCzcNSMqZ-QnqfGnv-8I2Gde77gKUwr4mPmU1KdTrYVHYHyzzSvB6boXOuEhcwpEPLOgi8dkqD4ge/s1600/adjectives.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisczGni1qLq51F_zvHmze3111h-knma-fA8pJyD-GewUlPtQWxoikC-rYrkWwdZFmFCzcNSMqZ-QnqfGnv-8I2Gde77gKUwr4mPmU1KdTrYVHYHyzzSvB6boXOuEhcwpEPLOgi8dkqD4ge/s320/adjectives.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">Life is in the power of the tongue. Change your words to change the way you feel. If someone else's negative words have pained you here is what you do.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">Say these declarations every morning and evening for 30 days. Say them with feeling and emotion and with intention. Speak clearly. Let your voice be strong. Your voice is your instrument.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">1. I cancel every negative word spoken over me. I cancel it's effects and I cancel it's consequences. I rule over my own life and I rule those words obsolete.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUMFGtdoqgNOe-XFez9Xg3MPS9BSiUKzhMD98raHnrmZ2SOodBdizjGuqE-whhbfwAhEgPsjefaQl6qHGna6LmPXx9qlPOhX1ZBrjYvtofsvCW4F5dt2KDYwCESgA5uFzTzGJVH6GL6Jrb/s1600/wordsworld.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUMFGtdoqgNOe-XFez9Xg3MPS9BSiUKzhMD98raHnrmZ2SOodBdizjGuqE-whhbfwAhEgPsjefaQl6qHGna6LmPXx9qlPOhX1ZBrjYvtofsvCW4F5dt2KDYwCESgA5uFzTzGJVH6GL6Jrb/s1600/wordsworld.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">2. I am a worthwhile person full of purpose and destiny.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">3. Everything I put my mind to I accomplish with excellence. </span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">4. I am a unique person created in the image of God. </span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">5. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">6. God had me in mind from the foundation of the world and his plans for me are good. </span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">7. I deserve love that is kind. I deserve love that is patient. I deserve love that is not envious of me or full of its own importance. I deserve a love that believes in me, that hopes in me and that endures with me.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlCs_rfFaNzAISye-GpNiL-zGbEHuDXBYYIc6AjMWHt5sRatwBJGR7Rw3OaxmtvUXYLQRlyjNPUv6XdzntaAMf4yZ_ng_bKenR2WogzxlzZDwyNN9vmHZ4XcI_XxHMFWNsyBNitI0seIBc/s1600/Words-with-tree-of-life.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlCs_rfFaNzAISye-GpNiL-zGbEHuDXBYYIc6AjMWHt5sRatwBJGR7Rw3OaxmtvUXYLQRlyjNPUv6XdzntaAMf4yZ_ng_bKenR2WogzxlzZDwyNN9vmHZ4XcI_XxHMFWNsyBNitI0seIBc/s320/Words-with-tree-of-life.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">8. Today I feel beautiful. Inside and out. </span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">9. In this entire world filled with billions of men and women there is not one that comes close to me. God broke the mould when he made me.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">10. There are no limitations on me and I am free to use all my gifts and talents to create the life I was made for.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">11. All things are possible for me because I believe. </span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">12. The past has no power to hold me. I rise up now to live an amazing life.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">13. My past is history. My future is bright. I have all I need to succeed in this life. </span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">14. Every day I am learning more and more. I am growing and getting more confident daily. </span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">15. I decide to show up in the world the way God made me and no one can stop me.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidXX9hvAvq5c6kYanUUZ4BBYLTpJf7drir14UYJWqQSXrQXNGwfks62utcvGkWPdHIwPftbhfAz1KqTZF4eL8WIPFRj5YPwxlQN5yllCdrrDWfDia4hICncwLL6SQGVlfiIucMArArVizc/s1600/power-of-words.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidXX9hvAvq5c6kYanUUZ4BBYLTpJf7drir14UYJWqQSXrQXNGwfks62utcvGkWPdHIwPftbhfAz1KqTZF4eL8WIPFRj5YPwxlQN5yllCdrrDWfDia4hICncwLL6SQGVlfiIucMArArVizc/s320/power-of-words.jpg" width="234" /></a></div>
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">16. I choose peace over worry. I choose serenity over stress. I choose joy over sorrow.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">17. My heart is healing and my spirit restored. </span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">18. As an act of my free will I forgive those who hurt me. I forgive them freely by God's grace enabling me. I release them.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">19. I release myself from those who hurt me. I set myself free and cut the emotional ties that held us. This sets me free. I am free.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">20. Peace is my portion. Today and every day. I choose peace. </span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
Listen to a recent show on leaving abusive relationships here <a href="https://m.mixcloud.com/askpatricia/real-love-show-so-why-is-leaving-an-abusive-relationship-so-hard-we-discuss/" target="_blank">click here</a><br />
<br />
Patricia Benjamin<br />
Life and Relationship Coach<br />
<a href="http://highlyfabulousconsulting.com/meet-patricia/" target="_blank">www.highlyfabulousconsulting.com</a><br />
www.ruachradio.com<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2IaUhPdHrmSdxK9aiQhUKeB70ivsvgHnvvY6c-31TxW9J9n8pDhfA2NdRN8F_brUiy6h3KO4Wgv5XBA8YsKebqmLxya9yIHi2qbPCZ6I_RPzgF77BWwITPjXoEsaLVB5xjM2iapS76f9O/s1600/2011-01-17_january_17_the_power_of_words_022_-_copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2IaUhPdHrmSdxK9aiQhUKeB70ivsvgHnvvY6c-31TxW9J9n8pDhfA2NdRN8F_brUiy6h3KO4Wgv5XBA8YsKebqmLxya9yIHi2qbPCZ6I_RPzgF77BWwITPjXoEsaLVB5xjM2iapS76f9O/s640/2011-01-17_january_17_the_power_of_words_022_-_copy.jpg" /> </a> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-71481764370463580752015-10-14T10:34:00.000-07:002015-10-17T00:17:08.514-07:00It's All About The Money <br />
'Money' Love<br />
<br />
The latest <a href="https://t.co/G2Iztqd0kJ" target="_blank">Real Love Show</a> was all about the Money. I have to say it got me inspired, excited and fired up.<br />
<br />
That's not the way I've always felt about money but throughout the show it was so significant that our thoughts and emotions surrounding money are key. <br />
<br />
Money expert and financialistar Lavinia D Osborne gave such great insight into money and emotions. That's right, emotions. Apparently the way we feel about money directly contributes to how we treat it and how we behave around it.<br />
<br />
So if we have a positive and empowered attitude towards money then we are more likely to take financial control in our lives. We are more likely to lead when it comes to how our money is invested and the way it's invested. We are more likely to trust our own instincts and judgment. However if we feel out of control when it comes to our finances or uneducated in money matters we will simply follow other people's advice, assuming they know best.<br />
<br />
Yet many people are suffering financially in today's times and instead of giving in to feelings of oppression or depression, an option is there to use it as an opportunity to change the way we view and approach money.<br />
<br />
If you're at the bottom, now, then the only way is up. It's time to challenge the status quo. One doesn't always have to be among the have-nots. If you have an history of poor money management or you've always had low expectations of yourself financially why not challenge yourself to do things differently?<br />
<br />
Confining your income to a job where you get just enough til the next payday isn't a great plan. You are not in a place of power. A job stands for Just Over Broke! <br />
<br />
During times of economic depressions, over history, many successful businesses have launched and become established. But a new mindset is required for this. Not just about money but about yourself. <br />
<br />
Do you see yourself as someone who can be successful money wise?<br />
<br />
If you don't see it then you can't have it.<br />
<br />
But if you see it, you can have it. (I think I read that in the Bible before)<br />
<br />
Or, as a man thinks so he is.<br />
<br />
Begin developing a new positive powerful way of viewing money. Begin to challenge your thoughts and feelings around money. Examine some of the messages you grew up with, were they financially enabling or disabling?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgroIpk1jg-TZlpKrzpgz5xfJkFrvoYiduPH2r-Vf6mIhnYXEUfdUkvuY2VcBgwOAy4wqm6X08bv0hsZFxaX8TB9qv9jkA0jDXPKd2Z3ebW_5cuhL7gnF1ALtzPThtHHP14FLaygPel8nQ2/s1600/ladytakingmoneyfromman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgroIpk1jg-TZlpKrzpgz5xfJkFrvoYiduPH2r-Vf6mIhnYXEUfdUkvuY2VcBgwOAy4wqm6X08bv0hsZFxaX8TB9qv9jkA0jDXPKd2Z3ebW_5cuhL7gnF1ALtzPThtHHP14FLaygPel8nQ2/s320/ladytakingmoneyfromman.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
You can begin to change them. Get educated around money. It is not the root of all evil. (It's the inordinate love of money) It is a tool. It will take on the personality of its owner. So think of all the good you can do with the money. Think of the powerful changes you can make in the world beyond just your family and friends.<br />
<br />
A couple of great books I've enjoyed reading include<br />
<br />
The Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T.Harv Eker<br />
The Richest Man in Babylon by George C Clason <br />
Success Principles by Jack Canfield<br />
<br />
Start reading. Start going to seminars on money. Start learning from other successful people and see how they think when it comes to money. Observe their attitudes etc <br />
<br />
Lavinia was so good on the show that I'm booking her for a series of shows on money and wealth creation in the new year. Make sure you listen in.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://t.co/G2Iztqd0kJ" target="_blank">Hear the Show </a> if you missed it.<br />
<br />
Also check out her event <a href="https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/a-one-day-family-financial-extravaganza-tickets-18899903119" target="_blank">Financial Extravaganza </a>coming shortly and if you can get there it would be great to see you.<br />
<br />
<br />
Patricia Benjamin<br />
Life and Relationship Coach<br />
BEFFTA Best Radio Personality<br />
Author of 7 Habits of Highly Fabulous Women<br />
<a href="http://highlyfabulousconsulting.com/meet-patricia/" target="_blank">www.highlyfabulousconsulting.com </a><br />
www.ruachradio.com<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-13586907068039161992015-10-09T10:41:00.001-07:002015-10-09T12:09:52.278-07:00Celibacy, Porn, Domestic Violence - The Big Conversation the Church isn't Having!<br />
<span style="line-height: normal;">Well, I sat in the theatre eagerly awaiting the start of the Play, <a href="http://www.holyandhorny.com/tickets-tour/" target="_blank">Holy and Horny</a></span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">I'd already had the pleasure of interviewing the Playwright herself, Tonya Bolton, and I was really looking forward to seeing her work. </span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;"><a href="https://m.mixcloud.com/askpatricia/real-love-show-with-special-guest-playwright-tonya-joy-bolton-holy-and-horny/" target="_blank">Real Love Show with Tonya Bolton: Holy and Horny</a></span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">I have to say I was curious to see how Tonya would deal with such issues as celibacy, masturbation, rape, domestic violence, porn etc. These issues are tough enough but when you add the church element it becomes even tougher. Not least of which because these are all taboo topics in the faith environment.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM3-IFwxqW6R4OR6S_0w67WEjheCqSHdHQ7wk6TdeJ3wBhDWj25EAKW0ij8dBiJY5LX7OHFu4NWHt5U3WHBMm293u1ni8qJsyrblhmDCajuNJdraLVH5Whpi8a7NqJsh33zQA-0uZ8iM7m/s1600/hqdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM3-IFwxqW6R4OR6S_0w67WEjheCqSHdHQ7wk6TdeJ3wBhDWj25EAKW0ij8dBiJY5LX7OHFu4NWHt5U3WHBMm293u1ni8qJsyrblhmDCajuNJdraLVH5Whpi8a7NqJsh33zQA-0uZ8iM7m/s320/hqdefault.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">Well, Tonya plays all 20 characters in her one woman play, (and she does so amazingly and brilliantly). I won't discuss the plot and ruin it for those who are yet to see this play currently enjoying it's UK farewell tour; the play is emotional and uncomfortable.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">Emotional and uncomfortable because as a woman I have high empathy with its characters. Not because I've been abused or even experienced some of those issues but God has given me a deep desire to reach out to women who have been oppressed. Women who are broken in spirit and/or broken hearted. </span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">I find it deeply painful to see or hear of such trauma being perpetrated upon my sisters. It makes me very angry. Every time I hear stories of women being victimised in toxic or otherwise abusive relationships, something deep inside me responds to try to somehow ameliorate that pain. To bring healing. </span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">It pleases me to learn that women, and men, after having seen the play, have found the courage to speak out about the abuse they've endured, about a rape or other sexual assault about which hitherto they had kept quiet.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2IU5gqakYG8cTVq8HTyUw2iCd8F0U4dcgg-JUVjOQAVJ4v3esbIj6JZ02sB3-5Ze7NFNQeGE-MP0EhfJzBXQgo2QpdaY-2QICi76AgP7a0MUXLVtOHc0RwJuLBiOdPZc6lTde8ohC9SCu/s1600/DVgraphic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2IU5gqakYG8cTVq8HTyUw2iCd8F0U4dcgg-JUVjOQAVJ4v3esbIj6JZ02sB3-5Ze7NFNQeGE-MP0EhfJzBXQgo2QpdaY-2QICi76AgP7a0MUXLVtOHc0RwJuLBiOdPZc6lTde8ohC9SCu/s320/DVgraphic.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">I've covered these issues on my show (The Real Love Show on Ruach Radio) several times and will continue to do so. </span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">How can you not feel emotional when you hear a woman being told that she is "ugly, worthless, should be grateful for his attention as he has women lining up to be with him"; all accompanied by ugly gestures and rammed home with physical abuse?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="line-height: normal;">Why should any man feel he has the right to assault a woman with his tongue? The Bible is truly right when it says "there is that (word) which pierces like a knife" and "death and life is in the power of the tongue".</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">Who on earth came up with the proverb "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me"?</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">So wrong. </span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">As well as domestic violence, child sex abuse and rape, the play also looks at celibacy and womanhood and how society (and the church) views women's bodies. </span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">How do you deal with your sexuality as a single woman, who the church says must be celibate? Is singleness a curse or a powerful state of being? The show explores this so well.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">I believe the church must begin to embrace these talking topics not from a preaching point of view but with a view to healing, understanding and educating. </span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">The play certainly gives plenty to think about. </span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">My colleague and I spoke after the show and we decided that attitudes definitely needed changing within the church. Sexual shame needs to be addressed as many do not speak about their pain or personal challenges, but wear a mask. The mask is necessary if they wanted to be accepted.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">I had a client who had lived a previous lesbian lifestyle and, although receiving counselling, was told to keep it quiet so people wouldn't treat her differently. Think how powerful a testimony she actually has! SMH.......</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">The conversation needs to be had and judging by the amount of people attending this Play, and the fact that Tonya has been asked to take it to the USA, people want to engage. The silence must be stopped.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">If you can see this play do go ahead. <a href="http://www.holyandhorny.com/tickets-tour/" target="_blank">Get tickets for the play here</a>. Be prepared for a hard hitting, adult conversation, with no holds barred!</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span><a href="https://m.mixcloud.com/askpatricia/real-love-show-with-special-guest-playwright-tonya-joy-bolton-holy-and-horny/" target="_blank">Hear our conversation here </a><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: normal;">Patricia Benjamin </span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;">Relationship and Life Coach</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;">BEFFTA Best Radio Personality </span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;">Christian Women in Media Intl UK</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;">www.ruachradio.com</span><br />
<span style="line-height: normal;"><a href="http://highlyfabulousconsulting.com/meet-patricia/" target="_blank">www.highlyfabulousconsulting.com</a></span><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-73469029393535350032015-09-16T03:48:00.001-07:002015-09-17T00:17:06.858-07:00No Limit to What I Can Do! <div dir="ltr">
I'm super excited. </div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr">I'm about to do something I've wanted to do for a long time.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Become a published author.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
My writings have been published over the years for different publications but a book, well that's a whole new ball game.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Two years ago, I was in the Caribbean, sitting outside on my parents' veranda and talking with my mother about my plans, and all the things I wanted to write about, and the various book titles I had in my heart. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
During which she told me something she had never told me before. </div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
It was about my junior school teacher, Mr Peter Lucas, of Grove Vale School, East Dulwich, London (I loved that teacher, he taught us like he cared about us) and something he told her at a Parents Evening.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
It was these words</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
"Patricia has all the signs of a writer".</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I was only 9 years old when I was in his class. </div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Do you know something, hearing mum say that did something for me. It really did. It meant something. It further affirmed me as a bona fide writer. It gave me confidence to step into my dream. To walk deeper in my purpose. </div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
We often display our true selves, our gifts, talents and abilities in a much more natural way when we are young. Before the critical factor sets in. Before we start listening to other people who tell us "you can't do that". Or "I don't think you could be that".</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Why do we invest so much in other people's negativity towards us? </div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I remember a class mate telling me she didn't think I would be able to complete a piece of English comprehension homework as I wasn't good enough. Well of course you know I not only completed it but got an A. Please.........! I remember it well.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Sometimes my life coaching clients tell me that they don't know what they want to do with their lives. Very many of these are in their 40s. I often tell them to cast their minds back to the things they used to enjoy doing when they were young.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
We often overlook the things that we do easily and naturally and feel that 'anyone could do it' or 'it's nothing special'. But it is something special. And no, anyone couldn't do it. Especially not like you.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
So recognise today there is really no limit to what you can do except the boundaries you allow to be in place.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
@Patricia Benjamin • Author • 7 Habits of Highly Fabulous Women • 2015</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Life and Relationship Coach<br>
Highly Fabulous Consulting<br>
BEFFTA Best Radio Personality<br>
Sound Women 200 List <br>
Christian Women In Media International <br>
Top 100 Most Influential Black People on Social/Digital Media <u>List</u><br>
UK C.O.O Making it Happen </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIP6B56TTpzLOT8a0qSx_M0fNjQbbBS4xZU1LcJkxzWkjm6IqEt2aWb1JEmsbljTEmdolcvfqwdPyfP_PstmrOEnzyJZsSQJ8FX462oj4P8EWsUrLxpIBuMDUWycDiJRkAtA6-qup_5Qbt/s1600/IMG_20150916_094754.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIP6B56TTpzLOT8a0qSx_M0fNjQbbBS4xZU1LcJkxzWkjm6IqEt2aWb1JEmsbljTEmdolcvfqwdPyfP_PstmrOEnzyJZsSQJ8FX462oj4P8EWsUrLxpIBuMDUWycDiJRkAtA6-qup_5Qbt/s640/IMG_20150916_094754.jpg"> </a> </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-38759778140066673342015-09-01T04:27:00.000-07:002015-09-03T04:40:57.313-07:00Church Flow on the Real Love Show<div dir="ltr">
This week we had a pretty sparkling debate on church flow, for christian women. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPjSX2v3_QKAjvLeETs7DHEZOpcpoglJk4qHQ6K3RT64-ilMiqaz2oIX_mcnKf13Je6lUo6eflGQ6gOwoX3i-rzTxtdXKHD7fDfnU-FvEg-ii1a-6WbK55heyNIlPfGlde6Lm1kfAdTrV7/s1600/ff9051c7cc351e9d423289cf291212ca.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPjSX2v3_QKAjvLeETs7DHEZOpcpoglJk4qHQ6K3RT64-ilMiqaz2oIX_mcnKf13Je6lUo6eflGQ6gOwoX3i-rzTxtdXKHD7fDfnU-FvEg-ii1a-6WbK55heyNIlPfGlde6Lm1kfAdTrV7/s320/ff9051c7cc351e9d423289cf291212ca.jpg" width="184" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Special guest, renowned gospel artist Watchman Williams, stated publicly that "christian women were out of touch when it came to fashion, their conversation and dating".<br />
<br />
Listen to the show here <a href="http://traffic.libsyn.com/realloveshow/real_love_show-Monday_31st_august-Patricia_Benjamin.mp3">Real Love Show with guest Dr Watchman Williams </a><br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
As you can guess there was plenty of outrage among the sisters and Dr Williams was brought to task.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
However I'd like to add a few things.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
While there may be some women who are less concerned with fashion and with staying up on the latest trends, there are plenty of sisters who look the part and not just on a Sunday. They have more than church flow going on Sunday morning, they stay in the flow. With style.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
But these ladies, as stylish as they are, do not always get a look in from the brothers and still remain single. I spoke to a DJ the other day who was talking about a church boat cruise he'd just been on that weekend. He admitted the ladies had looked very good. No complaints. On asking whether or not he had approached any of these ladies he confessed he hadn't. I would like to know why. I'm pretty sure he was one of many guys who didn't approach.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
The ladies did their part so when will the men do theirs? I've heard it said that they fear rejection. Isn't rejection part of life? Do we not all experience rejections on the path to our yes? There are no guarantees. Things are not handed to you on a plate.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Our guest also made a point that church ladies need to have more to their conversation than Jesus but needed to be able to talk about Adidas too. Point taken.<br />
<br />
I was told some years ago by a very wise lady that my husband didn't always want to see me in the Bible at all times. Sometimes he'd like to see me ........in less. Point taken. Whilst the spiritual side of things is imperative the human and physical side must be catered to, equally. Otherwise things can become very unbalanced.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
But how far do we go? Whilst many of us can take this on board we may want to learn a lesson from Meagan Good who definitely understands this dynamic but she may wish to exercise due appropriateness next time!<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
A friend of mine told me the other week that her husband used to be no fun and life with him not at all enjoyable. Yet this man is a well respected minister and deservedly so. But what's lacking is the human component. We have to take care of all our partner's needs. Sometimes girls just wanna have fun. She has told me though in latter months he has begun to change and is much more relaxed.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
As christian women we can't be one sided. We need to look good for our partners and take genuine interest in their lives outside of church matters. Be interested in their careers, in their hobbies and their goals in life.<br />
<br />
Listen to the show here <a href="http://traffic.libsyn.com/realloveshow/real_love_show-Monday_31st_august-Patricia_Benjamin.mp3">Real Love Show with Dr Watchman Williams </a><br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
All this goes both ways. The brothers need to do the same for their wives too. It's a two way street. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Patricia Benjamin </div>
<div dir="ltr">
Life and Relationship Coach </div>
<div dir="ltr">
BEFFTA Best Radio Personality </div>
<div dir="ltr">
Sound Women 200 List </div>
<div dir="ltr">
Christian Women in Media International </div>
<div dir="ltr">
Top 100 Most Influential Black People in Digital /Social Media </div>
<div dir="ltr">
UK Chief Operating Officer Making it Happen</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDV9jlSmh01Gp6COBmy7_KbLgV-qlPmYrAdsf0OMXOWdX-oedZg6Bp_0aqj17_-niOOyqo0gElxy1Yw9DOmV34pcOvFBe-HYzKM7o2IaKyY6_ZhqI8KPTe6xYmTKV_qFPKprnzvONRbnYl/s1600/meagangoodtoosextatbetawards13.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDV9jlSmh01Gp6COBmy7_KbLgV-qlPmYrAdsf0OMXOWdX-oedZg6Bp_0aqj17_-niOOyqo0gElxy1Yw9DOmV34pcOvFBe-HYzKM7o2IaKyY6_ZhqI8KPTe6xYmTKV_qFPKprnzvONRbnYl/s640/meagangoodtoosextatbetawards13.png" /> </a> </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-9612024950712768652015-08-19T07:46:00.000-07:002015-08-19T07:49:50.708-07:00Failed Expectations <div dir="ltr">
It's so easy for me to feel let down by friends or brethren that I feel did not meet or measure up to my expectations. They didn't meet my needs. So here I am left feeling hurt, disappointed or even betrayed. <br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
The real problem though is me.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
I can't control other people's behaviour. But I can control my own.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
The truth was I never stated my expectation. I didn't state what I needed.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Maybe I felt that if they were really my friends they would just know. Whereas truth be told, I've been married over 3 decades and I still need to be told. I cannot read my husband's mind. Neither can he read mine.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
This is why its always said communication is the key to all successful relationships. Not just when it comes to marriage.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
If I don't say clearly what's in my mind, can I really be upset when my friend doesn't "just know" what I really want deep down?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEszyJMXy33digy2gxB-IcUatIafReTzmm6HeQxU9s-nUHge1dUA2ZkebxEsxTGlo1F_DPhjCUDyK0JjFqFtdtAn7TpoZHcwia3ZoSGe78pFCRIPiBwjsJGBG6pzPTCClrCpcLhvco7Pa3/s1600/high-maintenance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="201" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEszyJMXy33digy2gxB-IcUatIafReTzmm6HeQxU9s-nUHge1dUA2ZkebxEsxTGlo1F_DPhjCUDyK0JjFqFtdtAn7TpoZHcwia3ZoSGe78pFCRIPiBwjsJGBG6pzPTCClrCpcLhvco7Pa3/s320/high-maintenance.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I must admit I used to be very high maintenance when it came to friendships. I would expect understanding. I would expect loyalty. I would expect support. I would expect acceptance.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
These may not seem that unreasonable but I would expect it at all times. I've come to realise that one person cannot meet all my friendship needs.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjogp90_7rIuBNVVDWPvyA8BKb4HqjlGdZFW4gNgCI1HgWXM_SCHOKDUOUctGLR2O62SZ1Xu-qGJNvVlhiqc_g5l08l6wY7mIhOr49AZa20Vrxaa82M3VXVdxRsc_AUnePPLbFM_ywjq_B1/s1600/tumblr_mfq2fpNwIY1qexr74o1_r1_250.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjogp90_7rIuBNVVDWPvyA8BKb4HqjlGdZFW4gNgCI1HgWXM_SCHOKDUOUctGLR2O62SZ1Xu-qGJNvVlhiqc_g5l08l6wY7mIhOr49AZa20Vrxaa82M3VXVdxRsc_AUnePPLbFM_ywjq_B1/s1600/tumblr_mfq2fpNwIY1qexr74o1_r1_250.gif" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I recognise that's too heavy a demand. Especially when that person has their own life to live and may be facing their own pressures.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Did it mean they were not a good friend because they could not put in an unfailing stint every time I needed to talk? <br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
The answer is no.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Now I see so clearly that true friends give you the best that they are able. When I demand still more that is me being a drain on them when they don't have it to give.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
So what's the answer here. What do I do? How do my needs and expectations become realised? Easy. I have a myriad of beautiful people in my life. All special. All blessed. All anointed. All gifted. I have to learn who has the gift for my current situation.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
2 years ago I went through a terrible time personally that I would not wish upon anyone. My whole world felt upside down and no ground was sure beneath my feet. But one friend that I opened up to helped me and comforted me spiritually, practically and materially. Every morning, early , my phone would ring and it would be her. She was an amazing rock. I had another friend that as soon as she heard she gave practical help within the hour. <br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Did this mean my other friends were not there for me? Of course not. And they all supported me in their own way which was truly greatly appreciated.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br />
Sometimes it may not be all that deep, I may need someone to spend some recreational time with and talk about my creative ideas for business and ministry. I have friends who lunch and pray with me. It's all good. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu6oTG8GD_zdH0mGTxk0-zkHYxKtQadlUU6lOunfGkpoCHCboETUP9F4lwVJK8YjyFlo6pUS1rpoea_Rc0bm1E32b1nt_zPNexp5iXJINdKHRkOgjMuJf6kLoJDBj1lJOiVbeg9C5lOyfK/s1600/lunch1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu6oTG8GD_zdH0mGTxk0-zkHYxKtQadlUU6lOunfGkpoCHCboETUP9F4lwVJK8YjyFlo6pUS1rpoea_Rc0bm1E32b1nt_zPNexp5iXJINdKHRkOgjMuJf6kLoJDBj1lJOiVbeg9C5lOyfK/s320/lunch1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
When I need my eyebrows threaded I have trendy fashionista friends who can point me in the right direction and meet up with me after for smoothies and cupcakes. It's all good.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
And it's two way. I will be there to encourage and pray for anyone at anytime. I don't mean polite prayers either. I mean prayers that get the job done. We stay there til its done. I'll talk with you for ages on the phone if that's the need.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
But if I don't have it to give you because I'm in recovery myself you may need to seek another person. When you're in recovery you don't have anything left over to pour into someone else. But believe me when I'm fully recovered it's a different story. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQQJzhq2yDqmNGx5zu7laBJmONj8r6PhQAB8mTfwURRByZ5NtTQ4LzlBhOJE612yR7vjarqGRIl7sfHprH6nbAR739nWOakw7vtdb3kYFL9RcGy2hDg3wEUXW84YvNdzJBMtvz5X7tB-CV/s1600/blog-lol.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="274" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQQJzhq2yDqmNGx5zu7laBJmONj8r6PhQAB8mTfwURRByZ5NtTQ4LzlBhOJE612yR7vjarqGRIl7sfHprH6nbAR739nWOakw7vtdb3kYFL9RcGy2hDg3wEUXW84YvNdzJBMtvz5X7tB-CV/s320/blog-lol.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
If we have expectations of others that are not being met and we feel that they don't really care or that they don't really respect us or we feel we don't matter to them; Let me say, "that's a lie from the pit of hell" designed to fracture and break your friendship.<br />
<br />
Friendship is next to fellowship. Never withdraw from the herd. You may think you don't need the herd but let me tell you that you do. The lone deer that has wandered away is an open target for the hungry (roaring) lion (who is seeking to devour). The isolating of ourselves from everyone else is not empowering. No one succeeds on their own. That's a simple fact. Even Jesus being who he was had 12 who worked with him. And then he sent them out 2 by 2.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Don't allow powerful bonds and strong alliances to break due to failed expectations.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Instead pull up the deep roots of unforgiveness that leads to bitterness and anger so that you can be at peace in your own mind and spirit. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcjhVOt098SmJvKdUh5uH1pN5rtxIYfCrtTxWrCP7WGXLiYXL4TWfQEuYuWnSTTtCCDvSyCcfEPpTZ3JvYeutRG5jJgdS3lvIiAnV9kV2wJOZVIFhjMLwu0g22wbGzD_Pf8Nn5Wk-4ZvFY/s1600/b783fc7ac228c63242c8f8260bd12136.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcjhVOt098SmJvKdUh5uH1pN5rtxIYfCrtTxWrCP7WGXLiYXL4TWfQEuYuWnSTTtCCDvSyCcfEPpTZ3JvYeutRG5jJgdS3lvIiAnV9kV2wJOZVIFhjMLwu0g22wbGzD_Pf8Nn5Wk-4ZvFY/s320/b783fc7ac228c63242c8f8260bd12136.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Then you can ask what you will and it will be done. Then your prayer will be answered. We can't get forgiveness until we give forgiveness. We do not want our prayers to be hindered. <br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Patricia Benjamin <br />
Life and Relationship Coach <br />
BEFFTA Best Radio Personality <br />
Sound Women 200 List <br />
Christian Women in Media International <br />
Top 100 Most Influential Black People in Digital /Social Media </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-50674143043325643702015-08-05T05:59:00.001-07:002015-08-05T10:55:50.395-07:00Celebrating Success! #Woman4Africa <div dir="ltr">
<br />
I've been to quite a few award ceremonies this year and have had a great time at them all.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
From being six degrees away from Idris Elba, meeting popular soap stars, including Ellen Thomas (EastEnders), Chizzy Akudolu (Holby), Noel Clarke (Kidulthood), football stars Fabrice Muamba, other media personalities, dining alongside award winning film actors, producers and directors, it would still not be hyperbole to say attending Women 4 Africa's 4th Annual Award is a strong contender for my top pick. <br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhyphenhypheny_6wbeBb2IzQ5HzlSB9PnVIXpdxWeZ2rEpYcrehT1QI_cxohETZgBFu7aLb91ZzXZGMZLa5iMH6DYeOoAT0EmS-bqUdTEHYMuMsi9qvibdg9TSKK45KN0pxaGZm9zO9E2SN2NVn8RFK/s1600/women4africa-event-2012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhyphenhypheny_6wbeBb2IzQ5HzlSB9PnVIXpdxWeZ2rEpYcrehT1QI_cxohETZgBFu7aLb91ZzXZGMZLa5iMH6DYeOoAT0EmS-bqUdTEHYMuMsi9qvibdg9TSKK45KN0pxaGZm9zO9E2SN2NVn8RFK/s320/women4africa-event-2012.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBzHyIWo0-Tx5OMTLZ3EDtnIzY-vC5JLOSerHNpC-Zkp9yDa692iELlcwGBNzsczvWNicIp3BhRnjmoOOSItb8EaW4HXH1aMXRWpgm5_Mefs4J8W30es-sAlFy2LY2RQA44-RoCZ9Rotxy/s1600/maxresdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBzHyIWo0-Tx5OMTLZ3EDtnIzY-vC5JLOSerHNpC-Zkp9yDa692iELlcwGBNzsczvWNicIp3BhRnjmoOOSItb8EaW4HXH1aMXRWpgm5_Mefs4J8W30es-sAlFy2LY2RQA44-RoCZ9Rotxy/s320/maxresdefault.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
It was vibrant with African fashion and colour, afro beats and dance, side splitting comedy, poetry that came from the heart and amazing, highly accomplished women. I felt honoured to be amongst them.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbnLKiRvbqIW2oSafODcpsciKItlhCw-fbSEjlWqLMuc9vTxSe03Mag2_UaI-TVmYXXA1dnKKecpmd099tUV8CF24MlkG4ezrIJlV-x-e3HVNLdULpZ2SNPVFKw1EPGc-sfJtGdY608yBc/s1600/2015-08-05+15.38.12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbnLKiRvbqIW2oSafODcpsciKItlhCw-fbSEjlWqLMuc9vTxSe03Mag2_UaI-TVmYXXA1dnKKecpmd099tUV8CF24MlkG4ezrIJlV-x-e3HVNLdULpZ2SNPVFKw1EPGc-sfJtGdY608yBc/s320/2015-08-05+15.38.12.jpg" width="215" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I can't tell you how alive the room felt, pulsating with compassion, with joy in the achievement of other women and hope and belief in creating a powerful future. There really was a strong sense of sisterhood. Genuine pleasure in celebrating the victories of other women. Saying I was inspired is just not enough.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I feel very proud to have shared the same platform in the past through radio with the host of the event Tola Onigbanjo alongside her husband Sam. A better partnering you couldn't hope to meet.<br />
<br />
Thank you for the kind invitation to attend Tola.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Many many women were recognised and honoured and it must truly have been a tough decision for the judges as the calibre was so high. All those ladies were real winners whether called to the stage or not</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
A couple to mention are:-</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Funke Abimbola who is Managing Counsel for Roche pharmaceutical operations in the UK and a regular lecturer at universities and conference;</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br />
Susan Edjang from Equatorial Guinea, a global health and policy expert serving in the UN for the Secretary General;</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Ifrah Ahmed from Somalia, a committed and highly motivated social and community worker in such organisations as UNICEF, Amnesty International </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
But the full list will be found at www.women4africa.com - check it out. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<a href="https://youtu.be/oincnxgOt8w">Women 4 Africa Official Short Video </a></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
In a time when mediocrity is often rewarded and fame is achieved by extremely questionable behaviour, I am so delighted that Women 4 Africa exists. We don't pursue our passions for awards instead its usually to fulfil that inner drive and our raison d'etre, but it is truly right that recognition is given. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
These women who shine their lights so brightly and unashamedly give us all permission to shine our own. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I'm encouraged to do so and I hope you will be.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
However, no matter how much we laud these ladies never compare yourself to them or even believe you are in competition with them. You are only competing with yourself. To be better. To do better. To grow. To keep evolving. Don't be tempted to stay where you're comfortable or where others are comfortable with you.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Be inspired and encouraged by these women but know that only you can achieve your mission in life. No one can do what you do in the way you can. You have your tribe to reach. You have your people to influence and you have all you need to make it happen. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Give it your all. Give it your 100%</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Big Congratulations Sam and Tola Onigbanjo. You are a winning team. Go on to dominate in your field. Thank you for showing us how its done as you keep recognising and honouring others who are doing the same.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Patricia Benjamin <br />
Life and Relationship Coach <br />
BEFFTA Best Radio Personality <br />
Sound Women 200 List <br />
Christian Women in Media International <br />
Top 100 Most Influential Black People in Digital /Social Media </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-30110783341802680432015-07-25T04:40:00.001-07:002015-07-26T09:22:18.934-07:00Guest Blog post - Marigold's Story - Getting Out of a Violent Marriage.<div dir="ltr">
<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
"I found myself in a situation that I never thought was possible, An abusive relationship. I had not experienced such behavior for over 10 years when I was in my first marriage. I had dated in between this and had not experienced this. What was it about the men I had chosen to marry?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I met my husband at a Christian conference in New York, we were both Christian ministers. He was one of the speakers at the conference and we were introduced to each other by the host. We began a long distance romance after that, him in the USA and me in the UK.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
It was perfect. He visited me in the UK, we went on Christian mission trips together before we decided to get married. On a beautiful autumn morning by Morris lake in Atlanta Georgia USA we got married. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
It was soon after that I would discover to my horror the man I thought I married was someone else.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
The verbal and psychological abuse started almost immediately we began living together. The physical abuse started soon after culminating in him lashing out and hiting me in front of a friend. The confusion, emotional, psychological and physical suffering that followed this was hard to describe.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
After 6 months of marriage, two and a half month of living together and having left him twice I fled to a domestic violence shelter. I had never been in a shelter before, it was like living in a UK open prison. Completely alone in a strange county and no family or friends for support and no income the reality of what had happened to me struck. I experienced many emotions after this. Extreme fear, terror, regret.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I had the difficult problem to deal with that 'I was still in love with my abuser'. When I left he tried so may ways to harm me and get me back under his 'control'. Had it not been for the police prosecuting him and him having a spell in jail I don't know if he would have stopped.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
With lots of counselling, support groups and spiritual help from a multitude of strangers I got myself back on my feet. How did I do this? As I had no friends or family and was in a strange country I quickly got connected to as many support organisation as I could, including churches and various programs. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I was involved in some form of support and recovery 6 days a week. In order to recover I received emotional and psychological counselling, spiritual prayer and deliverance, attended support groups several times a week, did lots of journaling, crying, personal prayer and reflection. Two and a half years later I can say things are completely different. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I can truly say that now I am living the life I had imagined. One of the things that assisted with my recovery was volunteering to assist women that were in the same or similar situation to myself. It was and still is very cathartic.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I say to all women or men who are suffering any kind of abuse or consistent unkindness or controlling behaviour from a romantic partner to get help. If you can't speak to friends and famiy contact support agencies. I have come across too many cases of mostly women being permanently maimed, disabled or murdered because they were unable to get out in time. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
My blessing goes to all women especially those that are currently suffering."</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Hear Marigold speak to Patricia Benjamin here on the <a href="http://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/3654244#WmoJk3ShwGiMIyy5.03">the Real Love Show </a></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZzZzmD86V1iRpCZqQX2W2YAZGbd7RZ3XASR7nYJVhlDzzQYLY_EAqzNnSIFcC1hU8EwwsZOfpMvQ5NYe_qfdp0ckP4madwflUovndF65J6LjqzwB45QGq2Tz_YxU-5tYmO09l2v54nbnu/s1600/dress_salvation_ar_3222273b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZzZzmD86V1iRpCZqQX2W2YAZGbd7RZ3XASR7nYJVhlDzzQYLY_EAqzNnSIFcC1hU8EwwsZOfpMvQ5NYe_qfdp0ckP4madwflUovndF65J6LjqzwB45QGq2Tz_YxU-5tYmO09l2v54nbnu/s640/dress_salvation_ar_3222273b.jpg"> </a> </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-36537278608725700572015-07-21T06:46:00.001-07:002015-07-23T05:43:11.191-07:007 Lessons I Learned After 31 Years of Marriage<div dir="ltr">
<br />
First of all, as of today at the exact time of writing, 31 years ago I was standing at the altar of my church exchanging vows. They were the old fashioned vows where I promised to love, honour and obey and my husband promised to have and to hold. ....to love and to cherish me until death parted us. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Solemn words for a solemn act.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
And that's what marriage is. It's a solemn undertaking not to be held lightly but guarded closely.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I could easily change the title of this post to 31 Lessons from 31 years of marriage but time does not afford so let me share seven major lessons. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
1. Marriage was the best thing I ever did. Surrendering my right to be solo and to join with my husband has been both empowering and liberating. Marriage does not trap you, it releases you. Releases you to express yourself completely as a human being. There are some things that are kept for marriage for a reason. Good reason. Marriage requires vulnerability and nakedness, both emotionally and physically. It requires truth in the inward parts like nothing else. Yet it yields the greatest rewards. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Despite what society implies, marriage is a good thing. A powerful institution and a sure foundation upon which to build families, the bedrock of society. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
2. A good piece of advice is to remove the word divorce from your vocabulary. With this in mind you will think carefully and thoroughly about whom you marry. You won't rush in. It's for life. You will look further than his handsome looks and her beauty. You will look for character and integrity. It doesn't matter how well he wears a suit or how much his touch gives you butterflies, if he cannot be trusted or has shown himself to be unworthy he will not make a good husband. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
It doesn't matter how many admiring glances she gets from other men making you feel proud to be beside her, if she is deceitful or arrogant she will not love you freely and be a good wife. When you know you're marrying for life, take time to know your intended. Get to know their family. Get to see their values played out, see how they treat others. See if they're good people. Once you've made the choice you must trust you have made the right one and commit.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
3. Commitment. Remember there will always be a man who can give you more. Maybe give you a bigger house, buy you higher brand clothes, take you on exotic holidays or who is more educated and commercially successful than your husband. There will always come a man who has a better swag and better looks. That's not the point. Marriage is not based any of those things . You have committed to your man. That's it.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
There will always be a woman who has a better figure and nicer looks, who is younger and firmer. A woman who cooks better than your wife and who seems to understand you better, who is more articulate than your wife. Marriage is not based on these. You made a commitment to your wife. You vowed to honour her with your body and all your worldly goods. So rejoice with her and let her breasts satisfy you. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
With your help, love, admiration and support your partner can get better not just older. A man will walk taller in life if he has the admiration of his life partner, his wife. A woman will have that 'something' and that sparkle when she knows her husband treats her likes she's number 1. And only. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
4. Your partner comes before your children. As a couple your children are your priority. Everything you do is for them. But you both must be in sync when raising them. Don't take their side against your wife. Don't take their side against your husband.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
5. Appropriate boundaries at all times. Don't tell out all your business to your friends. Don't tell out all your business to your family. Everybody doesn't get to have a say about your wife. Everybody doesn't get to have a say about your husband. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
In laws, no matter how well meaning, have to respect you as a couple and not feel they can tell you what to do. Husbands, your wife is the number one woman in your life. You respect and honour your mother but you are one flesh with your wife and you are to cleave to her. Wives, your husband is your first refuge and port of call if there's trouble, not your dad. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Ladies, your girlfriends don't need to know what's happening and all your latest arguments or difficulties. Marriages become very crowded when there's a need to get girlfriends involved. Men are less given to this but the same rule applies.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
6. Older and experienced couples who have relationships you admire, keep them as mentors and friends. Go to them if you want help or advice. Choose people you can trust and who share similar values to you. All marriages go through difficulties at times and their experience will inform the advice and counsel they give to you. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
7. Let there be love. Show love to each other in all its richness and forms. Be each other's best friend. Give support and a listening ear. Give yourself sexually to each other, it's God's way of reinforcing your union and your bond, that's why it's kept for marriage. It will tie you together at your souls. It will keep her his soulmate, and it will keep him hers. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Speak highly of each other. Respect each other and daily ask God for His grace and favour. Marriage is God's idea and He is the only one that can help us to live it.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<a href="http://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/3688423#uUVsAA7xjHlVLqAm.14">Real Love Show - my favourite love songs and lessons.</a></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Patricia Benjamin <br />
Life Coach, Love & Relationship Coach <br />
BEFFTA Best Radio Personality <br />
Sound Women 200 List <br />
Christian Women in Media International <br />
Top 100 Most Influential Black People in Digital / Social Media </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL9lO42EVWVJrJjYiQP-_Ep2OiCjtpi-QnLOIoQzAyYIK16JPCNAUxnJWsisbyZ-ZakrIMbVPhbeqPBJhg1XiRNVh_CG8hdl1gdIASb4leHa175CMVeSspljMi5lbTN6Wi68EjxVmLY1i3/s1600/wedding_flowers_pic-other.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL9lO42EVWVJrJjYiQP-_Ep2OiCjtpi-QnLOIoQzAyYIK16JPCNAUxnJWsisbyZ-ZakrIMbVPhbeqPBJhg1XiRNVh_CG8hdl1gdIASb4leHa175CMVeSspljMi5lbTN6Wi68EjxVmLY1i3/s640/wedding_flowers_pic-other.jpg" /> </a> </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-50328045692964008102015-07-10T04:30:00.001-07:002015-07-10T04:55:30.113-07:00I Get By with a little Help from my Friends <p dir="ltr">I am someone who is totally at ease with my own company. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I'm happy to go lunch alone in a restaurant, catch a movie by myself, visit a museum on my own, and I've done all these and enjoyed the experience.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I've started projects on my own and loved those too.</p>
<p dir="ltr">But I want to speak to the power of support, encouragement, help and assistance. </p>
<p dir="ltr">No matter how gifted or talented you are you can only achieve so much by yourself. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Everyone needs help. Usually if you want to achieve something significant you will make a better job of it with the help of those who believe in you. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Consider the impact of negative words. The crushing words of someone who doesn't believe in you or your vision and just doesn't think you can go anywhere or achieve anything. It takes a long time to bounce back from those projections. But when people love your ideas, love your vision and actually want to help you build it, it helps bring about a natural momentum. </p>
<p dir="ltr">No matter how wonderful your idea is and how promisingly it starts you will have a few roadblocks or uphill struggles . That's where your support team is invaluable. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Please decide to give encouraging words to people you see doing amazing things and stepping outside past confinements. Be a supporter. Don't just sit on the wall and watch and say nothing. Say something good. Life is in the power of your tongue.</p>
<p dir="ltr">If you are the one switching things up and going for your goals don't do it in a vacuum. Talk to those that are doing likewise. You'll get good conversation, advice and help. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Over the last 3 weeks I've spoken to 3 fabulous ladies who offered me sterling advice which I did not even need to ask for. These ladies believe in me. They believe in my vision and were abundant in their talent and insight which they shared. </p>
<p dir="ltr">One thing I've learned is that truly successful people help others. They don't try to cut you off. They don't try to rob your idea. They don't try to discourage you, they simply walk in their own strength and help others do the same.</p>
<p dir="ltr">If you don't know who your supporters are, look around you. They are the ones who always find the time to appreciate you and they are closer than you think.</p>
<p dir="ltr">We all have our dream team, they are ready when you are ready.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Remember your vision will need more than just you, but without you it won't work.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Go for your dream today. </p>
<p dir="ltr">#feelinggrateful <br></p>
<p dir="ltr">Patricia Benjamin <br>
Life & Relationship Coach <br>
BEFFTA Best Radio Personality <br>
Sound Women 200 List <br>
Christian Women in Media International Leader <br>
Top 100 Most Influential Black People in Digital / Social Media </p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXqVM3CgZIw4rWx1-QOr-TrSy7Ffe1D1wGfos1TND1FJUQcUKGKqXB3lBLxegV_CIQnV4b1ae-OB5oXmOnICWyEa25WsuRzy6pQDd31vxqMrtaM6FVBZnW31o0VarTKJkxfeY9CzMwXHqV/s1600/keep-calm-and-dont-be-a-loner.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXqVM3CgZIw4rWx1-QOr-TrSy7Ffe1D1wGfos1TND1FJUQcUKGKqXB3lBLxegV_CIQnV4b1ae-OB5oXmOnICWyEa25WsuRzy6pQDd31vxqMrtaM6FVBZnW31o0VarTKJkxfeY9CzMwXHqV/s640/keep-calm-and-dont-be-a-loner.png"> </a> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-83022164442452234192015-03-17T02:32:00.001-07:002015-03-17T02:36:29.432-07:00Refocusing after setbacks, 2<p dir="ltr">What is your inner belief system?  What does it stand for?</p>
<p dir="ltr">This is crucial to understand when you've experienced a setback or a disappointment. </p>
<p dir="ltr">The benefits of a strong inner belief system are many;</p>
<p dir="ltr">* Stronger self-confidence<br>
* Healthy self-esteem<br>
* Greater life satisfaction<br>
* Comfort with self and others</p>
<p dir="ltr">But how exactly does one go about developing a strong inner belief system?</p>
<p dir="ltr">Consider the following questions.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Finding answers to these can help you distinguish yourself in the group.</p>
<p dir="ltr">1. ​Explore what you currently believe about work, life, people, and yourself.<br>
You can try a free-writing exercise. Write each word (work, life, etc.) at the top of a page (one for each page) and then a free associate for each word. Write down whatever thoughts might be conjured up by the word at the top of the page.<br>
Write until each page is full.</p>
<p dir="ltr">2. ​How much of what you believe is your own?</p>
<p dir="ltr">Take a look at what you wrote on each page.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Identify messages that may have come from parents, friends, family, peers, teachers, etc. You can see that some thoughts appear under almost every section. Identify the recurring themes.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Now, highlight the things that truly reflect who you are and what you believe.</p>
<p dir="ltr">3. ​How much of it is enabling and how much disabling?</p>
<p dir="ltr">The messages of others can be encouraging or discouraging.<br>
Now, look at the messages and thoughts that reflect your own inner belief system. How do they make you feel, empowering or limited?</p>
<p dir="ltr">4. ​What do you want to believe?</p>
<p dir="ltr">Consider your true beliefs, the thoughts and messages you firmly believe in.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Do they reflect how you want to feel about life, work, people, and yourself?</p>
<p dir="ltr">Take a blank paper and write down each idea or thought that are considered right by others on the left hand. On the right hand side write down your alternative; how you would like to feel/think about each.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Reprogram yourself by identifying these limiting thoughts as they pop into your head, and replacing them with the thoughts and ideas you identified on the right hand side of the paper.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Continue this exercise, and you will find the old limiting thoughts creeping up less and less and the new empowering thoughts substituting them.</p>
<p dir="ltr">5. ​What messages about life, people, work, and yourself did you get from family as you shaped your personality?</p>
<p dir="ltr">Family, your primary social unit, can influence you more than most other institutions.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Family members have the tendency to repeat their messages. If you have chosen to reprogram any of their thoughts, values or beliefs, then be prepared to counter these beliefs whenever a family member articulates them.</p>
<p dir="ltr">6. ​What's your response when you express your belief and someone disagrees?</p>
<p dir="ltr">There can be many who do not agree with your beliefs and ideas. Consider how you might respond, should you share your beliefs with others and find that they disagree.<br>
You don’t have to change your mind.<br>
There is nothing wrong in someone else believing differently from your beliefs. People are different and that's what makes the world go round after all.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Simply convey that you see life/work/people/etc. differently, and then reconfirm your belief by repeating it to yourself.</p>
<p dir="ltr">As you explore your answers to these questions and the exercises associated with each, you'll begin to realize the strength of your inner belief system.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Expression of an idea is a difficult job. You need a great amount of confidence to express your beliefs in an unwavering fashion. People will challenge you and come forward with counterarguments.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Consider it as an opportunity to test your ability to continue with your belief system intact as part of your own personal growth. </p>
<p dir="ltr">See you back here next time.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Patricia Benjamin<br>
Life Coach<br>
Love & Relationship Coach<br>
Facebook: Ask Patricia<br>
Twitter: Ask_Patricia<br>
iTunes: Real Love Show</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipyIxKfDCXwknryMIhdKIa3fLB3OV7DPWnX_eu0HAjSQE-xB6y51l8AyZONzODxBdaDXp-LLoFFa8EZuy-Uyyj4PMjvAMHrNeuAvFRE0Htx-0TgROa5kQTLwIslrgrNdTPakLZDjR0PcZR/s1600/540_293_resize_20130901_51021d101204f92ac80b6ee81552b04f_jpg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipyIxKfDCXwknryMIhdKIa3fLB3OV7DPWnX_eu0HAjSQE-xB6y51l8AyZONzODxBdaDXp-LLoFFa8EZuy-Uyyj4PMjvAMHrNeuAvFRE0Htx-0TgROa5kQTLwIslrgrNdTPakLZDjR0PcZR/s640/540_293_resize_20130901_51021d101204f92ac80b6ee81552b04f_jpg.jpg"> </a> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-77438828617772316132015-03-01T02:05:00.000-08:002015-12-19T00:24:54.696-08:00Getting Back on Track after a Setback <div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Are you still clear as to your life and where you're going?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1mar3SZDHPaD6NWtElegYFUNwZhERxoTgx-SjPMDSyTLx8lVwfMP_kdAeSL0kp_MR7VGH60h69s29nKHO-nUlU4g7xB5GRdZD3LCWX-KtJUwhCF-pDwpdB4DBZJoataMZV7MdMQavsgdk/s1600/making-destiny.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1mar3SZDHPaD6NWtElegYFUNwZhERxoTgx-SjPMDSyTLx8lVwfMP_kdAeSL0kp_MR7VGH60h69s29nKHO-nUlU4g7xB5GRdZD3LCWX-KtJUwhCF-pDwpdB4DBZJoataMZV7MdMQavsgdk/s320/making-destiny.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
At this time you may just need to sharpen your focus expecially if you've had a setback or two . We all have them and it's important to have the right attitude in such times. Remember, your attitude will determine your altitude. Let's gets to it!</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Edmund Hillary was three times unsuccessful while trying to climb Mount Everest before his historical achievement in 1953.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
People praised his triumph and said, "You've conquered the mountain," and Sir Hillary said, "No, I've conquered myself."</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
The bitter experiences of early three attempts did not hold back Hillary from a fourth one. With strong will and relentless enthusiasm, he pursued his goal and achieved it.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
How many times have you started a diet, stopped smoking, or tried something new and went back to where you were when a setback or obstacle occurred. People often stumble over obstacles and even consider them as excuses for their failures.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Setbacks and difficulties are inevitable in life. They often challenge your skills and temperament.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
There are two ways to face difficulties.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
1. You can either change the difficulty or change yourself to be able to deal with it.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
2. You can deal with difficulties properly and make use of the experience to enhance your confidence or you can deal with them incorrectly and let them seriously damage your confidence.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
If you can see and face challenges in a positive way, you will gain immense experience and knowledge from it. Remember, a smooth sea never made a skilful mariner.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Your response to issues and difficulties:</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Failure should never be considered as a source of discouragement, but a motivation. You know how </div>
<div dir="ltr">
Helen Keller, a mute and blind woman, went on to become a world-famous speaker and author. Your ability to deal with challenges can be converted into a virtue by asking positive empowering questions yourself.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilXUMNrF_7xDofvMN4X8hSOGIwoWuZT5tFhctZzJhvFboZhzOsBDGCNg_JXcne5jZZv3T2HVLrvhsRrg7popQEd0KeRs92BThf-9TVeBl5SidD2pWMVFc0HPIuaixCko_f7XUfeX02eEoQ/s1600/Fulfill-Your-Destiny.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilXUMNrF_7xDofvMN4X8hSOGIwoWuZT5tFhctZzJhvFboZhzOsBDGCNg_JXcne5jZZv3T2HVLrvhsRrg7popQEd0KeRs92BThf-9TVeBl5SidD2pWMVFc0HPIuaixCko_f7XUfeX02eEoQ/s320/Fulfill-Your-Destiny.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
There is an unwritten rule that says:</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Ask your mind a stupid question and you will get a stupid answer.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
So, if, after a setback, you ask yourself something like</div>
<div dir="ltr">
"Why does this always happen to me, I never have any luck?"</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Your mind will probably come out with:</div>
<div dir="ltr">
"Because you are useless and good things do not happen to you!"</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Instead, if you ask yourself a positive empowering question like:</div>
<div dir="ltr">
"What did I learn from this setback for next time?"</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Your mind will switch into solution mode and come out with some excellent tips.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Following are some points to ponder about when setbacks do occur:</div>
<div dir="ltr">
* Be brave enough to acknowledge what has happened. Don't hide away from it. These things happen. So what?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
* Ask yourself as many positive empowering questions as you can.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
For example:</div>
<div dir="ltr">
What is good about this situation?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
How can I make the most of this situation?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
What can I learn from it?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
What are the facts about this problem?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
How can we make it a success next time?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
* Acknowledge the fact that setbacks occur to everyone and you are not being singled out.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
* View setbacks as a challenge to overcome rather than an issue or problem.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Patricia Benjamin <br />
Life Coach <br />
Love & Relationship Coach <br />
BEFFTA Best Radio Personality <br />
Sound Women 200 List <br />
Christian Women in Media International Leader <br />
Top 100 Most Influential Black People in Digital / Social Media </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuypq6ubzjjD5efaJXodvKkVBvZ4FqaPqlEann8GuFbH0-T_NgA07_8cq2hRzMQxhDrg5vLzY8cr-fLNbIB9yAOCue7cEDVvN4h2Dq4jLBxeh45-gBXmy0_GbKx7tGo2bpGIHlS-OLHudo/s1600/15f4b8f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuypq6ubzjjD5efaJXodvKkVBvZ4FqaPqlEann8GuFbH0-T_NgA07_8cq2hRzMQxhDrg5vLzY8cr-fLNbIB9yAOCue7cEDVvN4h2Dq4jLBxeh45-gBXmy0_GbKx7tGo2bpGIHlS-OLHudo/s640/15f4b8f.jpg" /> </a> </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-87309040933568913072015-02-27T06:59:00.001-08:002015-02-27T10:59:01.718-08:00The Best Lover of All<div dir="ltr">
I've been going to church since I can remember. Starting with Sunday School around age 5 at the lovely Baptist Church at the end of the road. Then later joining the Girls Brigade who I used to admire on Band Sundays when they sat at the front of the church in their very smart uniforms.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I loved Sunday School and everything it entailed including yearly Scripture Exams where we sat in silence and took a written test; to going away camping; to fun Christmas parties etc</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
From then having gone to a few different churches myself I've always taken my personal faith in God very seriously.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I knew He was real. He listened to my prayers. He often spoke back to me in a myriad of ways and I always felt my walk with him was alive and vibrant. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
However.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
A few short years ago He became more than someone I prayed to but more like someone who was right there. There with me. Wherever I was he seemed to be alongside. Not just during my prayers times or in church but other times. When I sat in the park. When I pondered my next career step. When I was out grocery shopping. When I decided which film I'd see at the cinema. And in a very real way. There were times I felt him so real and personal that when the sun would fall gently on my cheek it felt like his soft caress.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdDiw4qlHIyD3Loii7OVPrxhyphenhyphenMCgk6uA6SDw50BmreRk-eDSKVWlGP_PdJtShQd4FHSjrXQQQPu42hN-yxJ8VfIYQuSOCC-NvgV2WEFE9WPg3fZslZ1iojJqr2TUxW5Wsql2ECdjmgFW4n/s1600/IMG-20150214-WA0001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdDiw4qlHIyD3Loii7OVPrxhyphenhyphenMCgk6uA6SDw50BmreRk-eDSKVWlGP_PdJtShQd4FHSjrXQQQPu42hN-yxJ8VfIYQuSOCC-NvgV2WEFE9WPg3fZslZ1iojJqr2TUxW5Wsql2ECdjmgFW4n/s1600/IMG-20150214-WA0001.jpg" height="320" width="228" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
There were times I just wanted to be alone so I could indulge and luxuriate in his presence. Feel his love and care for me. There was the knowing that he had things to tell me. Knowing that he wanted me to know he had great faith in me. Imagine God having faith in me! It meant he believed in me. That he was saying 'Go on Patricia, you know you can do it, you've got it in you; go for it, go on don't be afraid.'<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Well it's pretty hard to look down on yourself or doubt yourself if God tells you to give it a go! In fact, it would be rude not to. .......<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm8_GIkts3p9H_vmFmC8EAvP8_pCdlDNvS4_ost3cFk-30kmcUB-cxRhaGlVuqKRnCuBAjgnyZcvjRgxXvHwwoS8StTqZGU_2Q8Tf6LCSOUQHxVDgcygDosQ5lS8C43QKepz_agYc0LpZ4/s1600/31664_20120816_220333_baloon,,,happy,joy,lufi,balloons-fc33b87a641ce91884b9b2584f1e6759_h.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm8_GIkts3p9H_vmFmC8EAvP8_pCdlDNvS4_ost3cFk-30kmcUB-cxRhaGlVuqKRnCuBAjgnyZcvjRgxXvHwwoS8StTqZGU_2Q8Tf6LCSOUQHxVDgcygDosQ5lS8C43QKepz_agYc0LpZ4/s1600/31664_20120816_220333_baloon,,,happy,joy,lufi,balloons-fc33b87a641ce91884b9b2584f1e6759_h.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<span id="goog_1949029260"></span><span id="goog_1949029261"></span><br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Myles Munroe RIP said being humble is not walking with your head bowed low but walking in your fullness that you were created in. That was humility. To simply be who you were. No apology needed. <br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I remember one day saying to myself "How come nobody has ever told me it could be like this?"</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I somehow got a glimpse into what King Solomon was talking about in Songs of Solomon. I knew what he meant when he made the allegory between the deep intense love affair between a man and a woman and the intensity of love the creator wants with his creation.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://ytimg.googleusercontent.com/vi/6uldedzkHes/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/6uldedzkHes?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
He doesn't want to be seen just as a Law Giver, a Judge, a figure of authority but someone who deeply desires a real relationship with those who say they love him. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
It was especially lovely during February - the month of Love and Romance - to talk with my guest Jemma Regis about her book 'God's Romantic Getaway'.<br />
<br />
Gemma's book is a pure delight to read and she tells me how she came to write it in our conversation so listen in.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<a href="http://howlongistoolongtowait.podomatic.com/entry/2015-02-27T06_27_17-08_00">Speaking with Jemma here - just click </a></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8fUtatbCUX9wfFnke2M0agdpOKrNjqErbCuG7aifNOnPaOn6oVpbhZveqqzJ3x9cwETO9dCTQ-K6LN3n0-mCDmhsbUM1LWUIHJv-2S3vIXNJr1id9SPiBYyk_dHpNu6jJ14c6IyjFYKHb/s1600/Book-cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8fUtatbCUX9wfFnke2M0agdpOKrNjqErbCuG7aifNOnPaOn6oVpbhZveqqzJ3x9cwETO9dCTQ-K6LN3n0-mCDmhsbUM1LWUIHJv-2S3vIXNJr1id9SPiBYyk_dHpNu6jJ14c6IyjFYKHb/s1600/Book-cover.jpg" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
You may be reading this and be of no particular faith persuasion and that's fine. It doesn't take away from the authenticity of my experience.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I'm impressed to share the impact of knowing I can connect in a real way to the one who created this magnificent world we inhabit and know he hears. <br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
One thing I note is that many individuals who are making powerful inroads and having immense influence as well as giving positive contribution to the world around them, all acknowledge an existence of One that is greater than themselves. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
It's as though to find your own greatness you must acknowledge it's source.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Take a listen to Jemma sharing her experience of God's Romantic Getaway - maybe you can have one too!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://howlongistoolongtowait.podomatic.com/entry/2015-02-27T06_27_17-08_00">The Best Lover of All - God's Romantic Getaway with Jemma Regis</a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9cyrsYuInuuEKBGpToUx6wRWT-VlDqSGRLUlhKXjhvdKhxl-R0Mu11Jjo4_XqFWkv9PRHNAbWHi4E0F7e1DCt5LAvZixSd3eF2XbKnI5wRj6OSVbrISUYoM_hl9Px3H-zEEkpN2ltyOrX/s1600/tumblr_niupvbOd8O1rmagk1o1_1280.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9cyrsYuInuuEKBGpToUx6wRWT-VlDqSGRLUlhKXjhvdKhxl-R0Mu11Jjo4_XqFWkv9PRHNAbWHi4E0F7e1DCt5LAvZixSd3eF2XbKnI5wRj6OSVbrISUYoM_hl9Px3H-zEEkpN2ltyOrX/s1600/tumblr_niupvbOd8O1rmagk1o1_1280.png" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Patricia Benjamin <br />
Life Coach <br />
Love & Relationship Coach <br />
BEFFTA Best Radio Personality <br />
Sound Women 200 List <br />
Christian Women in Media International Leader <br />
Top 100 Most Influential Black People in Digital / Social Media </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-12818761995038747002015-02-21T04:06:00.002-08:002015-02-21T08:33:07.564-08:00Succeeding Against the Odds <div dir="ltr">
I had a wonderful evening at the recent Screen Nation Awards 2015! It was an evening filled with glitz and glamour, live music and upbeat and lively men and women.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
We had all come together to laud and celebrate artists operating at the highest level of their craft and to acknowledge their consistent dedication in their chosen speciality.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuuaker2StcUSddcfgM3n6EXlR8RVjW0rI2OqSZsRhMWpDaCRRP3GrHcVMULgK3Jn-W3D3EI2cwEBJYAnE4mEwcV2Yk1_O3uE0CdWhRvH_hqQfmZJZ3ny3eQJL_H9Js65pBolJ9GSM5-fn/s1600/20150215_214317.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuuaker2StcUSddcfgM3n6EXlR8RVjW0rI2OqSZsRhMWpDaCRRP3GrHcVMULgK3Jn-W3D3EI2cwEBJYAnE4mEwcV2Yk1_O3uE0CdWhRvH_hqQfmZJZ3ny3eQJL_H9Js65pBolJ9GSM5-fn/s1600/20150215_214317.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibvOa34oJZORSa4r42Dsh12kqnxxx6KS8xJw0Ua5VNo2GVuvTanJpFCfnrYXi0gga1nkntgM_wLeRO0NlSgFacrTdF-coBvBGer3YvOQOUnv1RxAuNMquJ-Ko2s13VQ8SllDvWCKKgJSup/s1600/20150215_213827.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibvOa34oJZORSa4r42Dsh12kqnxxx6KS8xJw0Ua5VNo2GVuvTanJpFCfnrYXi0gga1nkntgM_wLeRO0NlSgFacrTdF-coBvBGer3YvOQOUnv1RxAuNMquJ-Ko2s13VQ8SllDvWCKKgJSup/s1600/20150215_213827.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTkIVvfo8e5rtGfKjc3N7pDbXqX5DAxUXfswOLHzwLpFwWp6cgrkArS4-30VrGrXqk46wFF1AFINfvZT138o9Diu9cN1H9v3EHQgHYbQKrwvJOEsclK5Q5GwJW9gL6eOkwbdEIqpkwhfUr/s1600/20150215_203205.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTkIVvfo8e5rtGfKjc3N7pDbXqX5DAxUXfswOLHzwLpFwWp6cgrkArS4-30VrGrXqk46wFF1AFINfvZT138o9Diu9cN1H9v3EHQgHYbQKrwvJOEsclK5Q5GwJW9gL6eOkwbdEIqpkwhfUr/s1600/20150215_203205.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIad6qEvVM_023uBjaT6vNvR56YYtCSESsmdvJYz3kR7izg13swK-VmVaLzbENCkYbNfrSTF1RXWwFksRyf-ZOFMTeTLEQQ8yjLnNqFptJlFK9I5s4oaD_ofUQJe3kesz-Sxc43EUBAYTe/s1600/20150215_213930.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIad6qEvVM_023uBjaT6vNvR56YYtCSESsmdvJYz3kR7izg13swK-VmVaLzbENCkYbNfrSTF1RXWwFksRyf-ZOFMTeTLEQQ8yjLnNqFptJlFK9I5s4oaD_ofUQJe3kesz-Sxc43EUBAYTe/s1600/20150215_213930.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1WTcfFhoB-0n3pyXSIoOlORStV8A7rdnwHjkefR_840Q1mOwTwYHXALpMKpZkUVH7rCjE-_rlLP642yoHE1wabgg05YBeioYKOOWykAaLh3NjH4O1F40d3jttXT7XDRjQaEK4c7MZiXzS/s1600/20150215_230401.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1WTcfFhoB-0n3pyXSIoOlORStV8A7rdnwHjkefR_840Q1mOwTwYHXALpMKpZkUVH7rCjE-_rlLP642yoHE1wabgg05YBeioYKOOWykAaLh3NjH4O1F40d3jttXT7XDRjQaEK4c7MZiXzS/s1600/20150215_230401.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHEZs4mWoiAaHFq0UJpA-NsAJqwj9ZIw7UIaG47mbZjAk3fIw3C5i2eRXhL8V1G4AYbQqABpldCcN88OYSFdJMcrh7EKHvAVtrGjOohb-MWYGBYcFTv-LFCfCIndKYVzoiKAiAfICgDEdp/s1600/20150215_232750.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHEZs4mWoiAaHFq0UJpA-NsAJqwj9ZIw7UIaG47mbZjAk3fIw3C5i2eRXhL8V1G4AYbQqABpldCcN88OYSFdJMcrh7EKHvAVtrGjOohb-MWYGBYcFTv-LFCfCIndKYVzoiKAiAfICgDEdp/s1600/20150215_232750.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I am one who believes in awards. It is a positive thing to be recognised by your peers and be celebrated. It's much better to be celebrated than it is to be tolerated.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfCLtutraaue9DLVcEwvDpLEQWYOHx-sHXPXFmMVmypMIWOoSrSuOlClnnjFCIGyrIxSee_PfJAC5zgND67FXXaXirpSTR5oUyevRPToq5Lbm_-qE4MfLOkoUv-Iy6r8W9pnZ1yAYwhiSM/s1600/2015-02-16+14.25.41.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfCLtutraaue9DLVcEwvDpLEQWYOHx-sHXPXFmMVmypMIWOoSrSuOlClnnjFCIGyrIxSee_PfJAC5zgND67FXXaXirpSTR5oUyevRPToq5Lbm_-qE4MfLOkoUv-Iy6r8W9pnZ1yAYwhiSM/s1600/2015-02-16+14.25.41.jpg" height="313" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
It was lovely to hear from some of the winners the motivation that drives them even when it seems all uphill, even when they have faced so many no's in the industry. Yet they stayed with their passion, they stuck with Plan A as plan b wasn't an option. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
Screen Nation celebrates artists of colour as in the mainstream they are mostly overlooked. So this Award body helps to set that right. In very much the same way the NAACP Image Awards does in the USA.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://r11---sn-aigllnee.googlevideo.com/videoplayback?requiressl=yes&shardbypass=yes&cmbypass=yes&id=5b97b992ddea7e7f&itag=18&source=picasa&ip=5.71.105.186&ipbits=0&expire=1427127987&sparams=cmbypass,expire,id,ip,ipbits,itag,mm,ms,mv,nh,pl,requiressl,shardbypass,source&signature=73556FAB4A789F652E91F2020D4B677D9F6D1798.143FF55D1A386E5FE4165E07EB94C7FAB2AB9696&key=cms1&cms_redirect=yes&mm=30&ms=nxu&mt=1424535945&mv=m&nh=IgpwcjAxLmxocjA3KgkxMjcuMC4wLjE&pl=22">Idris Elba gives his speech</a><br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Mr Idris Elba was there live in person to collect his award and during his speech made the request that everyone should give support to events such as these.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Indeed without support we can get nowhere. Everyone and anyone who is making great strides is doing so because they are getting support to get the work done. Vision alone is never enough. As well as vision and planning etc every dream needs a team.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Well done to the founder of these excellent awards, Charles Thompson MBE, who has been hosting it for 10 years and also to his outstanding team.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Whatever you're setting out to do, don't be a one man band but take time to assemble your team.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Your team should believe in you and your vision. Without this its not a team. The team may change faces from time to time but essentially the characteristics and qualities will be the same.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I have to say that there was a lot of positivity in that room filled with amazing people. The positivity was inspiring and uplifting and made you feel you could succeed also.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
And of course, if you put in the work, build your team and run with the vision, you can!<br />
<br />
Patricia Benjamin<br />
Life Coach<br />
BEFFTA Best Radio Personality<br />
Sound Women 200 List<br />
Christian Women in Media International<br />
Top 100 Most Influential Black People in Digital / Social Media<br />
www.ruachradio.com<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiucascQqqWUC99uV-Yv1jYDNOSGWVpZBpv1XSXIPeenT39wtATHoA-Kvcje3JNkjaS-H3d_D2UIzGKU6qyrtsRatqqd7b7sE367vtM9G57qbRWS_EjNYhgTsN1XYOLDtq4bI9unYFjSaCR/s1600/IMG_20150216_103934.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiucascQqqWUC99uV-Yv1jYDNOSGWVpZBpv1XSXIPeenT39wtATHoA-Kvcje3JNkjaS-H3d_D2UIzGKU6qyrtsRatqqd7b7sE367vtM9G57qbRWS_EjNYhgTsN1XYOLDtq4bI9unYFjSaCR/s640/IMG_20150216_103934.jpg" /> </a> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhIrgBdYiEArd9Tg8RZMHguzJZCQfZ6wmfWDGfcet5SlhyW9QJrBuD3DKik4v3XNx2JDZngEKoMEcOxQpNO4jHwYdkiyLcVrzgcqX5K6vvFNzWcyNpxB0uO0afrcmTfy_JXPVwDvJTX8t8/s1600/20150215_230207.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhIrgBdYiEArd9Tg8RZMHguzJZCQfZ6wmfWDGfcet5SlhyW9QJrBuD3DKik4v3XNx2JDZngEKoMEcOxQpNO4jHwYdkiyLcVrzgcqX5K6vvFNzWcyNpxB0uO0afrcmTfy_JXPVwDvJTX8t8/s640/20150215_230207.jpg" /> </a> </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-89675040280971341572015-02-20T04:48:00.001-08:002015-02-20T05:01:10.515-08:00Week 4 - Count Down to Love <div dir="ltr">
</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Hi guys, its our final week and thank you all for taking this Love Challenge.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Loads of you have reached out to me and talked about your experience so far. And a big thank you to so many of you that have shared the Challenge with your friends. </div><div dir="ltr"> </div>
<div dir="ltr">
I warn you now that this final week may be the most demanding yet but will yield the most harvest from all your efforts so far!</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Let's get to it.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Day. 22 - What is your desire for your life? What are you actually demanding from life? In fact are you not demanding anything at all and just 'going with the flow'?</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Have you ever asked yourself these questions? If you know what you really want in your life it's easier to know what kind of relationship you want. I mean, if you don't yet know what you want from life can you be clear on what you need from a relationship? Marriage itself is not an end goal. It's merely the opening of a new chapter in the book of Your Life. Someone who doesn't yet understand themselves or who isn't focused on where they are going in life is not going to attract someone else who is!</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Today, before you leave the house, sit down and ask yourself:- Who Am I emotionally, spiritually, mentally, professionally?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
What are my core values? What are my deepest desires for my life? What am I prepared to do to get those desires? What are my innate qualities and abilities that I can use to achieve them? </div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr">Write down your answers to these questions - it will help you see clearly who you are, what you want and what you do not want. Now you will be able to quickly identify people that you meet who are in line with these values and hold similar ambition in life. It's much better to choose a partner whose life values and ambitions are the same or complementary to yours.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr">Opposites may attract but they don't make for long term commitment or life together.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Day 23 - It's important to bear in mind that you are not here to fix anybody. Don't invest time, energy and emotion in trying to get someone to change. They are who they are fundamentally. If you feel the need to get them to change they are not the one for you. Your friends should be people who inspire you and lift you higher, so how much more your life partner! Accept him for who he is. Once he has shown you who he is, believe it and accept it. If you're unhappy with the reality then this is not the one for you. </div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr">Don't get into a relationship with someone who is unsuitable and then spend all your time complaining and being miserable. It's so important not only to love and accept yourself but also to know you must accept others for who they are. </div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Day 24. Time to look beyond aesthetics. As we get older and wiser we learn to base our romantic interests on things other than outward appearance. We realise the perfect man doesn't have to look like Brad Pitt or Idris Elba! It might be nice but it is not a necessity. Your life is not a Hollywood movie. Consider dating men outside any previous strict parameters. Outside your race. Someone under 6ft. Someone with different yet exciting interests. Take off the limits. </div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Day 25. Today you need to set aside 20/30 minutes for this exercise. Please look back over the last five years only and write down everything you have done, completed or achieved that you are proud of. It should be things personal and professional, a new skill, a new ability. Then look back over them and acknowledge and celebrate your achievements. As adults we rarely pat ourselves on the back or tell ourselves "nice job"! Celebrate by calling a few friends and go out someplace special. Because you are special.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr">Even more fun, why not give a party? Invite friends, new and old and anyone you'd like to have as more than a friend, get some feel-good music, and dance the night away. Everybody loves a good time. Get planning now!</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Day 26: Think about using all dating and matchmaking resources available. Perhaps use a professional matchmaker. Do not count out such options as online dating. Let your family and good friends know you are interesting in meeting someone, social networking sites, singles holidays, join up for a class in something you're genuinely interested in. Be open to new suggestions, activities, events, places. Break out of your usual social routines and expand your social horizons. </div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Day 27: An interesting exercise today. Please select three people. One personal friend. One professional colleague. One associate, maybe someone from your church, a class, a friend of a friend. Once you have selected them please ask them the following: </div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr">a) what do you feel are my 3 strongest strengths?</div><div dir="ltr"> b) what 3 things do you like most about me? </div><div dir="ltr">c) if something terrible happened or you had received bad news, and you called me, what would you expect to get from me and why?</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr">Give them 24 hrs to get back to you. And then read through what they say. Anything there really surprise you? Did you learn anything about yourself or did it throw a light on anything for you. </div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Day 28. Sit down and review the list you made of your achievements, then look at the answers you received from the 3 individuals you chose! Then close your eyes and see yourself the way these people have seen you. Embrace and acknowledge all your achievements to date. Feel good being who you are. Feel good that you are making a difference to other people. Then in your mind's eye see yourself standing tall, worthy, confident, charismatic, passionate about life and people. At ease with yourself and with others. Wow, how confident, attractive and compelling are you! Walk in your truth. </div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Bonus Day: Share the love - every person you come into contact with today, make it a good encounter for them. When you smile, make it a smile from the heart, learn to smize, (smile with your eyes) communicating that passion and joy you have about life.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div><div dir="ltr">When you compliment someone do it freely, don't expect one back, just give it because they deserve it and you are happy to affirm them. When you engage with the opposite sex, do it authentically, don't be half-hearted, make an impact, hold their gaze, don't be afraid to ask a follow-up question. Treat them as someone of value. Not because they are rich or handsome but because they are who they are. Everyone responds to respect, and thoughtfulness.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
******************************************<br></div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I have loved sharing this Love Count Down with you.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Love starts with love of self. This Challenge has given you a chance to look at who you think you are, who you want to be, who people think you are, and allowed you to put your past behind you so it doesn't hold your future hostage. </div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
It has awakened hope, given life-skills strategies, encouraged you to open your mind, your networks, your interests; become more proactive about getting what you want. All in all you are now much more magnetic to people, more intriguing to engage with, more confident in your pursuit of what life and love have to offer.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Feel free to go over this again, you'll get better at it each time. Make it part of routine, not just for February. You can review the lessons you've learned and keep practicing your new social skills until you are the expert whatever social circles you find yourself in.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I would love to hear from you, so drop me a few lines at AskPatricia@me.com and share your thoughts. </div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Also, if you think you would benefit from a more individual approach you can book me for personal coaching wherever you are in the world, have Skype, will travel (RealLove Show - Skype address) - Personal Coaching allows for a customised plan just for you that covers your life and relationships. It may be just what you need to make sure 2015 brings you what you truly want.</div><div dir="ltr"> </div><div dir="ltr">Simply email me at AskPatricia@me.com to get started!</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Also, look out for the book this Challenge is based on coming this Soon. Countdown to Love, its a super guide to Preparing for, Getting Ready for, and Finding Love.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Thank you for taking the RealLove Challenge! </div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Find my weekly podcasts at iTunes - The Real Love Show</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<a href="http://howlongistoolongtowait.podomatic.com/entry/2014-11-21T12_51_48-08_00">Here's a show you may enjoy listening to</a> - this one features Best Selling Author Aaron Lamont on 'This is Why You're Single'.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
And there are plenty more at ITunes under Real Love Show </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Patricia Benjamin</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Life Coach<br>
Love & Relationship Coach<br>
Radio Talk Show Host<br>
Email: AskPatricia@me.com<br>
Facebook: Ask Patricia<br>
Twitter: @Ask_Patricia<br>
iTunes: Real Love Show<br></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwgERUAeNgr_EIIZDSrLcXw0wW9PnJEN3mnZu_28JZPY1ANQK4gu_ZKx0BiGC2eKo0Z6rthvEx6CwNE7tT9lWp_ZTpk5aMfNKC4uRswihJBKQIwg0BTtOIjlY_Eofu4SMyObb_3CSbktnP/s1600/bigstock-Birds-With-Love-Valentine-Day-24502481-273x300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwgERUAeNgr_EIIZDSrLcXw0wW9PnJEN3mnZu_28JZPY1ANQK4gu_ZKx0BiGC2eKo0Z6rthvEx6CwNE7tT9lWp_ZTpk5aMfNKC4uRswihJBKQIwg0BTtOIjlY_Eofu4SMyObb_3CSbktnP/s640/bigstock-Birds-With-Love-Valentine-Day-24502481-273x300.jpg"> </a> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728436830510791574.post-70592471285311793322015-02-14T03:54:00.001-08:002015-02-15T20:19:51.487-08:00Week 3 - Count Down to Love <p dir="ltr"><br>
Hope you enjoyed a great Valentines Weekend however you decided to spend it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">So, you're finding the Count Down challenging and loving it at the same time. Nice work so far - let's get into the third week.</p>
<p dir="ltr">This week we are going to clear out our closets, stop the nonsense, stop the game playing, stop the self-sabotage and really begin the pursuit of happiness in earnest. There are those who are prepared to put in the same effort when they are seeking love and happiness as when they are seeking employment. No doubt one of the reasons you are reading this post is because you are too. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Each day we look at how we might be getting in our own way when it comes to love!</p>
<p dir="ltr">Day 15: Don't fry your new love interest or any potential future love interest in the fat of your ex. No matter how awful that past relationship was, this is not the same person. Are you carrying bitterness and pain from your past? If so, work through these issues. You are not ready to start again. Your heart needs to be free from those painful memories and healed from those hurts. You also need to learn the learnings from those relationships. Have you considered the power of forgiveness? Forgiving not because they deserve it but because you deserve to be happy. You can't be happy if you are still rehearsing, reliving, rehashing every terrible thing your ex did to you. Let go of the anger, don't keep on imagining ways you can get your own back. How can you move forward if you are constantly looking through your rear mirror? Your focus is in reverse! Leave the past exactly where it is, right there, behind you. If you don't, you'll just have a bitter spirit, a sharp tongue and an ugly attitude. And we know ugly goes to the bone! Not attractive. Let it go! Consider working with a relationship coach for a month or so. If you are a person of faith, take it up in prayer and release your sorrow there. Ask your minister to help you. Whatever else you do, this is an absolute non-negotiable to moving forward and finding real love.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Day 16 . Stop with the game playing! No one has time for games and all these rules. We are all adults now! Everybody's grown. Who can be bothered to play your "hard to get" game? Who can be bothered to jump through all your hoops? Life is too short. If a guy is interested in you and you like him then stop throwing up road blocks. Stop giving him tests. You are not a prize. Just be real. Just be yourself. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Isn't it time to be honest about who you are, what your values are and live in line with that? If someone doesn't fit then they just don't fit.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Day 17. Stop with the praying. Meaning Stop with the over-spiritualising. Please - Just Stop! You have to pray AND. Although the good book says Ask, and it will be given. It also says seek and you'll find. Knock and it will be opened. These all mean you are proactive. Don't ask and wait. Ask, seek, knock, make an effort. Sitting at home watching reality tv, drinking red wine each night is not going to bring Mr Right to your door. Neither will constantly telling yourself and your girlfriends that there are just no good men out there. God helps those who help themselves. If you desire a job, once you've prayed would you not make sure you have the right qualifications, brush up your skills, put out your CV, expand your networks, attend relevant industry seminars/conferences and go on interviews? A husband will not just turn up out of the blue because you have prayed. Give God something to work with. There ARE suitable marriage partners out there. Create opportunities to meet someone suitable. Go out and change up your routine. Look lively! Going to the same old church meetings and seeing the same old folk week in, week out, year after year is not enough! It hasn't been enough up to now, after so many years, so do something different. Outside the church walls. Go out, develop new interests, pursue a new hobby, think outside the box, Pray and DO SOMETHING! Do something today. </p>
<p dir="ltr">18. Listen to your intuition. It will never steer you wrong. NEVER. Sometimes we cannot find Real love because are entangled in relationships that aren't good for us. If something feels off, don't wait for your mind to figure out what's wrong, get out of that relationship. </p>
<p dir="ltr">19. Dating someone who isn't available. This is always a complete waste of time and emotional investment. If this man is married, in another relationship and merely using you for his own ego, or sexual predilections or penchants, you've got to know this is going nowhere. Find the courage and strength to up and leave. It may seem exciting especially with its forbidden nature but as you get older and not so desirable he may seek to replace you as your currency is losing value, and as you begin to tire of always fitting in with his agenda, it's always a dead end. Time to knock this one on its head. You are better than that!</p>
<p dir="ltr">Day 20. Break your cycle. Stop dating the same person but with a different face and name. Do you have a certain type? As in, the wrong type! If you have just the worst taste in the opposite sex, sit down and break it down. Are you still always going for the "bad guy"? Are you still thinking you can fix him, you can change him? What do you need to change about yourself is the question. Work this out and you're on your way! </p>
<p dir="ltr">A great exercise is to ask yourself 3 questions. (1) What do you want? Then (2) What is stopping you? Then (3) What do you want instead? Then repeat the process and keep going till you reach your truth no matter how uncomfortable it feels. This will take you to the root. Be honest and truthful to yourself. This is a good exercise to do with a friend who asks you the questions. You can then do the same process with them. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Day 21. Too shy! That's a label you can take off right now. Being shy is something you can unlearn. And it's pretty easy too! You can develop social skills. It's simply a matter of taking interest in other people. You can begin by being curious. Curious about life, about people and situations. You can ask questions. Being shy can mean worrying about what people are thinking or saying about you. To be honest, most people are more concerned with what you are thinking or saying about them. It really isn't all about you. A great tip is to do something that many actors have learnt to do. Pretend to be someone else. When you are in a challenging social situation, think about someone you know who is very socially confident and imagine what they would do. And simply do the same thing. So if you have a friend who is very confident think how they would behave and adopt the same behaviour. You'll be surprised how much fun and how easy this is. After a while, you won't need to pretend anymore, it will be all you. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Okay, so time to go!</p>
<p dir="ltr">Next week, we are getting busy in our love pursuit. Get ready to turn up the volume on week one and take things to a whole new level. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I'm loving all the emails you're sending me about how you are finding this, keep them coming!</p>
<p dir="ltr">Week 4 coming this time next week!</p>
<p dir="ltr">Enjoy the Real Love Challenge!</p>
<p dir="ltr">Patricia Benjamin<br>
Life Coach<br>
Love & Relationship Coach<br>
Radio Talk Show Host<br>
Email: AskPatricia@me.com<br>
Facebook: Ask Patricia<br>
Twitter: @Ask_Patricia<br>
iTunes: Real Love Show<br><br><br><br><br><br></p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga2OOCLc1ZVkNhol-EcFx0eDXaUgQri6ISpRZvqVi9e7S1AXiC8I7fBnGFCfY8pCLC6et6N8XbN9hyphenhyphen9MIDS0RKUhJMzuXY_Zog2KCRROe8eRPDyJnvYuMwc-4ovJzRv-SSOfoVeGQQqcLt/s1600/97139d8c051280c2c934e790661a716b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga2OOCLc1ZVkNhol-EcFx0eDXaUgQri6ISpRZvqVi9e7S1AXiC8I7fBnGFCfY8pCLC6et6N8XbN9hyphenhyphen9MIDS0RKUhJMzuXY_Zog2KCRROe8eRPDyJnvYuMwc-4ovJzRv-SSOfoVeGQQqcLt/s640/97139d8c051280c2c934e790661a716b.jpg"> </a> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03968589582997461301noreply@blogger.com0