Saturday, 8 February 2014

Week 2 - The 28 Day Real Love Challenge

Hi guys

As this is my most popular post by a runaway mile, I take it you're all loving the Challenge and maybe told a friend or two. 

So let's get into week 2.

Day 8 - Ask yourself, what are the voices in your head telling you? What are the voices from your past telling you? What is the voice of your heart telling you. Okay, I want you to take authority over any inner voice that is not supporting you. I want you to substitute that voice with a new voice. That old voice may have been telling you negative things. It may have been telling you that you'll always be alone. It may have been telling you that you're not attractive enough. It may have been telling you that you don't have what it takes to find love. It may have been telling you that you'll just end up being hurt and let down again. Time to shut that down. That voice hasn't been helping you. This is your life and you get to write the script. You can choose, you decide.  Begin to say "I deserve love". "I'm very loveable". "Real love is my portion in life and I expect it" "At the rightime for me, I will find love or it will find me". "All I've been through and the lessons I've learnt has prepared me for the relationship that is right for me". Make up some more of your own. Let these words become the words of your new and dominant inner voice. Key: Hear yourself say these words. Say them out loud. Today and every day this week. We get in life what we think, believe, say and expect. 

Day 9. Do you remember when you were last in love? When you felt good in your skin. Remember how desirable you felt . Remember that amazing feeling of knowing someone was thinking about you and would go out of their way to please you. If you have never been in love then just imagine how that would feel. Well, take those feelings and embrace them. Close your eyes and feel those feelings from the crown of your head, spreading through your body to the tips of your fingers right down to the soles of your feet.  Begin walking with a spring in your step. Start dressing with that extra flare. Start combing your hair with that little extra attention. Spray on a new cologne, something light, maybe floral, something classy, like you. When you smile feel that new charisma that is beginning to flow from you. Know that your eyes sparkle with that certain something. Feel comfortable in this place of confidence and happiness. Now go out and face your day and walk as though you're hearing your favourite song.

Day 10. How are you feeling today? Is your energy up? Are you full of beans? If yes, fabulous.  You're about to feel even better soon. If not, take a look at what you're consuming. Is there anything you need to adjust nutrition wise? Try and up your intake of fresh fruits and vegetables that help detox your body. Are you taking regular physical exercise? Even if you don't need to lose weight, getting your heart rate up is good for getting those endorphins racing through your body and feeling good. It's been proven to counter depression. So get the exercise going, it could be  a daily walk, a Zumba class, a free weights session whatever you prefer.  If you can make it something upbeat and fun, all the better.  Someone who loves themselves enough to take care of themselves is always very appealing. 

Day 11. Time to get your flirt on. Flirting is simply communicating in a way that let's someone know you're interested in the possibility of dating.  Keep your approach casual and relaxed. Use their name, it's very charming to have someone address you and call your name. It sounds very simple but there's a big difference in simply saying "good morning" to saying "good morning John/Marie". A nice compliment given with eye contact and a soft smile is good.  Ladies, give a guy permission to talk to you. Let him see you're approachable and use open body language. Ladies, you hold the power, you are the ones that give the green light. It's not all on the man. Even if he thinks he made the first move you are the one who makes it clear you are open to an approach.  Remember, vive la difference! Ladies play up your femininity. Give the jeans or trousers a break. Wear a dress and wear it with confidence and flare. Also, ladies, leave Ms Independent at home. Independent means "alone" and you're done with that.  Guys, good humour, a smile, a nice compliment, not appearing too eager, and being the gentleman is always a winner. So, there's one or two tips for you to bear in mind as you get your flirting skills going. Bear in mind that the  more you practice flirting the more comfortable and confident you will be. 

Day 12. Another Feel the Fear and do it anyway day! Go on a blind date. Just for fun. Get a friend you know and trust to arrange a foursome. And go and have fun. It should be something you can enjoy, maybe visit a gallery and then a light lunch; visit a tourist attraction then go for a drink; go to a comedy club and just have fun. Be yourself. Your best self. Just have a great day/evening. Don't worry about chemistry or love at first sight for now. And did you know some of the best relationships are those that started out as friends with lots in common?

Day 13. Today is Take a Risk day! You're going to turn the tables. Especially if you're female. Call up your blind date. Tell them you had a fun time and you'll love to go for coffee one morning. This is presuming you did have a nice time. However, if you do not plan to see your blind date again still call them and thank them for a pleasant evening.  Show courtesy and respect because that's the kind of person you are. 

Day 14. Get some colour in your life. Especially if you wear a lot of black. Black is cool and everything, but get some colour, for a change. Take a chance. Get out your comfort zone and do things a little differently. Why not book a personal shopper or a personal stylist or a friend whose dress style you've always admired but didn't have the confidence to emulate and shake things up a little. Start living your life in colour. Come out of the Grey zone and come Alive with colour. 

By now, you will be flowing with confidence, self-belief and a greater sense of self-acceptance and self-love. A greater sense of control in your life.  This is coming together to cause you to be a very compelling and charismatic person. There are two types of people in life, those who think that life happens to them  and then those who believe life is what you make it.  Which one of these do you fit into? 

Next week, we will begin clearing out a few things you may not be aware of that could be in your way. But in the meantime fully embrace each day and the daily challenge. And if you're not finding it easy, remember its a Challenge. But I believe you're reading this because you were meant to and this will make a significant difference in your life. Drop me an email let me know how you're doing. 

Day 15 coming this time next week. 

Enjoy the RealLove Challenge

Patricia Benjamin
Life Coach
Love & Relationship Coach
Radio Talk Show Host
Facebook: Ask Patricia
Twitter: @Ask_Patricia
iTunes: Real Love Show