1. Take your health seriously. That might mean walking more. Eating less fat and sugar. It might mean drinking more water. It might mean cutting back on alcohol. It might mean learning to relax, taking time out for self to de-stress. Without this one being in place the rest are not assured. Your health and well being must be valued. Love you!
2. Clear your space. Clear your environment. Clear your workspace. Clear your home. Create a sense of flow, freedom and ease in your surroundings. Do what it takes to get that done. If necessary hire a cleaner, hire a gardener, hire an interior designer. Let life work for you. Set things up so you win.
3. Start saying no confidently. No is a great word. That word makes sure you do not over commit. It ensures you don't play a victim's role in life. It gives you power and control. It's your life. You choose. You decide.
4. Don't be afraid to say yes. Yes to your dreams. Yes to your ideas. Yes to your talents. If you don't decide to do you, then who will? It really is now or never. Your life isn't a practice run. This is it!
5. Now you've said yes to yourself you're going to need a brand new image. Yes, image, everyone needs one and very often we need several over time. Life isn't just the survival of the fittest but the survival of the re-invented. The best global brands keep it fresh, new and current even when it's basically the same product but with a few new bells and whistles. Think Game Change.
6. Do you need to change up your associations. The people you fraternise with. The people you work with on projects. Perhaps you need a new energy. A new creative mix. Keep it moving......
7. Break the worry habit. Take your thought life in hand. No more letting your imagination run riot with every possible terrible thing that could happen. Take control by dealing with those things you've procrastinated over, do what's in your power and then let it go.
8. Get a money plan in place. If you have debt speak to a debt adviser, if you regularly over spend ask yourself why you do this. What hole are you trying to fill? If there is a vacuum in your life overspending on luxuries or indulgences will not address the problem.
9. Still unclear on your life purpose? Are you feeling stuck despite earning well, despite having a high status job, if so, it's time to dig. The truest way to find your purpose is to find what you were made for. To find that thing you do so naturally and easily that you think "anyone could do it". What do people constantly praise or admire you for? What gift, talent, ability did your primary school teachers note about you? What do you do that gives you pleasure like nothing else. Find this and you've found your vocation. You were created with purpose and designed to accomplish that purpose. Whatever it is, don't be afraid of it. Walk into it. Walk into the light. Your light. Let it shine. Don't hide it under a bush. Don't apologise for your greatness. Be bold in what you do. It's the only way to be.
10. Finally decide to forgive everyone. Everyone who disappointed you. Who let you down. Who hurt you. Who rejected you. Don't be a victim of their behaviour. Take control by forgiving them. Release them from your heart. Release yourself from the pain. Let it go and live your life. Free. Work with a coach or counsellor or other professional if necessary.
11. Respect your feelings. Anger has its place. Don't say it's okay when it isn't. If someone disrespects you or is rude to you then you don't have to laugh it off. You can call them on it. You don't need to be rude but you can state firmly that their behaviour is unacceptable and you deserve better. Turning the other cheek does not mean being a doormat. You were not created so people could walk all over you.
12. Remember that classic song "don't go changing to try and please me.........I love you just the way you are." Well, Its time for you to stop trying to change the ones you love. Would you like it if they kept trying to change you? Exactly.
13. Laugh more. Laughter is medicine for the soul. It lifts sadness, gives you energy and makes life enjoyable. So no more gentle, restrained or polite laughter please. Go Hard. Rolled up, on the floor, doubled over, side splitting, belly aching LAUGHTER.
14. Practice counting your blessings at the end of each day or even at the end of each week. You will find yourself surprised at just how blessed you really are. Name them one by one. Perhaps start a journal.
15. Get real with your spirituality. If you've lived your life up till now unconcerned with the deeper things of life; now is a good time to think about such things. Why wait until your death bed to recognise you are more than flesh and blood and that the real you is a spirit being. We are spirit beings having a human experience. Getting connected to your creator is the most life affirming and actualising thing you can do. Number 7 on Maslow's hierarchy of human need is self-actualisation: to find self-fulfilment and realise one's potential. Number 8 is self-transcendence: to connect to something beyond the ego or to help others find self-fulfilment and realise their potential. To go beyond self satisfaction and to make your contribution to the world. That contribution is why your creator designed you.
16. What would you do if you didn't have fear? When you've answered that, ask yourself if what you fear is actually real? So will you feel the fear and do it anyway?
17. Is there an individual real or imaginary, such as a tv or book character, that you do not like? Ask yourself why you don't like them. Do you think you have any similarities? If so, what have you just learned about yourself.
18. Forgive yourself. It's okay to make mistakes. Did you know that no one is perfect. No one gets everything right all of the time. You are okay.
19. It's time to fall in love with love. Time to fall in love with life. Decide to have a glorious love affair with the one you love. Make it extra fun and don't tell them. Just let your actions speak for you. Romance him/her. Compliment them every time you meet. Tell her she is the prettiest girl in the world. Send her a love letter. Tell him he's your hero. Buy her Belgian chocolate. Buy his favourite beers and put them on ice. Let him watch the game with his friends! Take her dancing and hold her close. Go on picnics, day trips, watch the sunset together. Get some more ideas flowing and nice up your love life.
20. Challenge yourself to learn something new. A new language. A new skill. Take an evening course. Learn to salsa. Learn how to bake. Learn how to draw. Learn how to write poetry. Learn an instrument. Whatever takes your fancy, give it a go.
21. Create a travel plan. Nothing expands the mind like travelling: meeting new people, observing other cultures, experiencing different approaches to life, start now. Make sure you keep a travel journal or diary in which to record your adventures. Life can be an adventure. In fact, life is what you make it.
Patricia Benjamin
Life Coach
Love & Relationship Coach
Radio Talk Show Host
iTunes: Real Love Show
Facebook: Ask Patricia
Twitter: Ask_Patricia
Email: AskPatricia@me.com
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