Tuesday, 15 April 2014

What Do You Do When Life Gets Hard?

What do you do when life is hard?

With life being the way it is nowadays it stands to reason that someone in your circle may need encouragement. 

It could be someone very close like your wife or husband. Perhaps grown up children uncertain about their future. A close friend whose life seems to be falling apart. A relative facing illness. 

So many others are in fear of losing their jobs,  worrying about how they will survive the next month, others are discouraged during the job seeking process.  

Sometimes the person needing encouragement is you. 

I find when times are tough I gravitate to the positive people in my life. Those that are quick to offer words of hope, useful ideas to adopt, assistance and support. I know instinctively to avoid the naysayers. Some people seem to rejoice in other people's sorrows. Their conversation is never uplifting but instead they point out everything that could possibly go wrong. 

I also find that journalling, praying, reflecting over previous lessons learnt and how I made it through very effective. My spiritual focus tends to intensify and it makes me stronger despite whatever difficulty I'm facing. 

I remember about a month ago I felt the need to refocus and gain better clarity in what I was doing. So what did I do? spoke to one of my life coaches. I say one, because I have several coaches and they are  all gifted and are valuable resources in my life. So I booked two sessions and the first one literally blew me away.  It stripped things way back, let me see the wood from the trees and matters came into laser sharp focus. 

My next session was all about creating a new plan for my new goals. Now I'm on track. That is the best kind of encouragement. Clearing all the brush wood and seeing the path ahead. 

Below, find the steps I employed to get back on track. Maybe they can help you too. 

1. Ask yourself the last time you were feeling happy, motivated, on track and at peace. 

2. When did that change?  What was happening to you, around you?

3. Address the situation. Don't avoid it. Don't try to find someone to blame. Face up to facts. Get help if necessary. Don't try to do everything yourself - asking for help is important in times like this. See what it is you need to do differently. 

4. Once you have addressed the situation, go over your life plans, goals and desires. Is there anything you want to readjust, change, subtract or add? Make sure your goals are still authentic and what you really want in life. 

5. Once you have done this next examine your options. There is always more than one way to get things done. Find out the best way for you. Find what suits you best and BEGIN

6. Take on a coach to help you. Your life is worth the investment. Why not invest in yourself? 

7. Make sure your friends support who you are. If they don't, they are not really your friends. Be aware of the attitude, energy and spirit they bring into your environment

Some lessons I learned in the process are to be careful who to allow to speak into our lives. Some people have no business giving you advice or instructions but will do so anyway.  Some people will project their issues onto you. Others still will take the opportunity to push their own agenda. 

Don't lose who you really are. Who you were five years ago is not who you are now and the people who inspired you may not inspire or motivate you now. It's amazing to find that there are those that would rather you be the person they have always known you as and are uncomfortable or unsure of something different. Sometimes you just outgrow people. Be aware of your own dynamic, your strength, your own sense of self and to thine own self be true. That is the most humble thing to do at times - don't be afraid to be the way the Creator made you. 

Patricia Benjamin
Life Coach
Love & Relationship Coach
Radio Talk Show Host
Author and Speaker
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