Sunday, 3 January 2016

Helpful Hints for Lone Mums

Let's start

Your Money

Try to put some money away each week.  Prioritise between your needs and wants and really focus on you and your child's needs. If there is any money left over,  save it.
Your Friends

Start to grow  your circle of positive people in your life who age trying to make the most of themselves professionally and personally. At the same time drastically reduce from your life those who are negative and unproductive.

Protect your child Emotionally

Try not to let your children know you are finding life difficult or challenging, especially when they are quite young. They may see you struggling but you don't want them to feel insecure or unstable about life or the environment. Children need stability emotionally as well as physically and you will help to provide this. If you need an emotional outlet this is where your friends and circle come in.

Be Organised

Reduce feelings of overwhelm by breaking your life down in manageable chunks. This means that you look at each one by itself, instead of looking at all of them at once. Chunks may be your health, your finances, your friends, your career, etc

Be Practical

Don't leave your job until you find another one, even if you really hate it.

Down Time

When it comes time for you to  relax (and this is vital to your own well-being) do ask a close family member or trusted friends to stay with your child. Even if you don't have loads to spend there are many things you can do for fun that cost little or no money. But please always take time for yourself. You matter. You count.

Get Motivated About Life

Never give up on yourself or on your future. You can have a powerful future and life will not be this tough forever.  Make a financial plan, stick to it, and live day by day.

Find a mentor who can encourage you to set small interim goals for your progress.

Ask for Help

Success is asking for help when you need it. Humility is greatness.  No one in life gets anywhere significant without the help of others. You cannot live in a vacuum. And when you are in a position to help someone else, send the elevator back down!

Invest in Yourself

Expand your education at every opportunity.  There are many free and low cost courses online as well as a plethora of information on a number of topics.  Libraries offer free training in IT as well as Internet access for free. A great place to start .


Where possible keep the access clear for visits and interaction with the father of your child.

Empirical evidence shows boys and girls need their fathers in their lives. As well,  fathers need to provide practical and financial support towards the child regardless of whether you are together as they are his responsibility.

Patricia Benjamin
Life and Relationship Coach