Saturday, 12 December 2015

Cleaning Out My Closet!

Hi guys, how's your weekend going. I'm having a mental and emotional clear out. Like Eminem I am cleaning out my closets.

It's a really empowering thing to do. Making decisions about what I want and don't want and then making that push to throw out what's no longer needed or wanted.

I'm aiming  to get things done and to make my life clutter-free. Once I've cleared all the clutter, life becomes easier to control.

The more control I have, the more motivated I feel.

It's surprising how many people carry around with them a lot of excess luggage or clutter.  The emotional tensions and regrets make up a big part of this clutter. The  ‘if only' and ‘why did this happen',  and the ‘coulda shoulda' are plenty. 

Well all mine are going in the bin.  Today. Making space for 2016. Which is going to be super fabulous by the way :)

While Ive been clearing out, a couple of old friends come to mind. I'll call them Adrian and Darlene, great couple.  One day, they had an argument over something and they stopped speaking to each other. Within a month, both missed the companionship of the other, and regretted the break up. However, they waited for the other person  to make the first move to start over again. It never happened. They drifted apart, but the feeling of regret stayed with them. Both of them have  confessed to mutual friends that it has affected their lives. What a waste!

I hate hearing things like that. It's so unnecessary and speaks of an unwillingness to admit you may have been wrong.  Even if you are, it's not the end of the world. And isn't a loving happy relationship worth overcoming your pride for?

I see people old and lonely because they always have to be right.  No one is right all the time. What's the harm in a simple apology? Or giving a peace offering? Or just making the first move? Someone has to step up!

A good relationship is worth it. I don't know where that thought came from but perhaps I needed to share it for someone today.

Well back to clearing out my emotional and mental closet -  I've asked myself these questions. The answers are helping me gain clarity. It means I have to be really honest and face up to things. But I'm doing it anyway. I already feel lighter. Motivated. In control. On track.  Maybe you can use them too.  Here you go!

1. Putting up with….

• List 10 things that I am putting up with at home
• List 10 things that I am putting up with in my business
• List 10 things that I am putting up with in my love life
• List 10 things that I am putting up with in my  friendships

Time to weed out or communicate these things that I've  been putting up with

2. Unfinished matters…

• List out all the things in my life that I  feel are unresolved/unfinished

• Create a plan to reduce this number. Write it down.

• Do I need to clear the air with anyone? If so, just do it! Life is too short!

• Is there someone I'm supposed to call or keep in touch with but failed to find time for? If yes, call them or send an email right away!

3. My standards…..

• Write down the standards that I have told myself I have to match. OK, so now  let go of them and create a new list. These should be the standards that I am going to have in my  life from this day onwards.

I hope you like these and find them useful.

Enjoy your weekend :)

Patricia Benjamin
Life and Relationship Coach