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Tuesday, 17 March 2015

Refocusing after setbacks, 2

What is your inner belief system?  What does it stand for?

This is crucial to understand when you've experienced a setback or a disappointment.

The benefits of a strong inner belief system are many;

* Stronger self-confidence
* Healthy self-esteem
* Greater life satisfaction
* Comfort with self and others

But how exactly does one go about developing a strong inner belief system?

Consider the following questions.

Finding answers to these can help you distinguish yourself in the group.

1. ​Explore what you currently believe about work, life, people, and yourself.
You can try a free-writing exercise. Write each word (work, life, etc.) at the top of a page (one for each page) and then a free associate for each word. Write down whatever thoughts might be conjured up by the word at the top of the page.
Write until each page is full.

2. ​How much of what you believe is your own?

Take a look at what you wrote on each page.

Identify messages that may have come from parents, friends, family, peers, teachers, etc. You can see that some thoughts appear under almost every section. Identify the recurring themes.

Now, highlight the things that truly reflect who you are and what you believe.

3. ​How much of it is enabling and how much disabling?

The messages of others can be encouraging or discouraging.
Now, look at the messages and thoughts that reflect your own inner belief system. How do they make you feel, empowering or limited?

4. ​What do you want to believe?

Consider your true beliefs, the thoughts and messages you firmly believe in.

Do they reflect how you want to feel about life, work, people, and yourself?

Take a blank paper and write down each idea or thought that are considered right by others on the left hand. On the right hand side write down your alternative; how you would like to feel/think about each.

Reprogram yourself by identifying these limiting thoughts as they pop into your head, and replacing them with the thoughts and ideas you identified on the right hand side of the paper.

Continue this exercise, and you will find the old limiting thoughts creeping up less and less and the new empowering thoughts substituting them.

5. ​What messages about life, people, work, and yourself did you get from family as you shaped your personality?

Family, your primary social unit, can influence you more than most other institutions.

Family members have the tendency to repeat their messages. If you have chosen to reprogram any of their thoughts, values or beliefs, then be prepared to counter these beliefs whenever a family member articulates them.

6. ​What's your response when you express your belief and someone disagrees?

There can be many who do not agree with your beliefs and ideas. Consider how you might respond, should you share your beliefs with others and find that they disagree.
You don’t have to change your mind.
There is nothing wrong in someone else believing differently from your beliefs. People are different and that's what makes the world go round after all.

Simply convey that you see life/work/people/etc. differently, and then reconfirm your belief by repeating it to yourself.

As you explore your answers to these questions and the exercises associated with each, you'll begin to realize the strength of your inner belief system.

Expression of an idea is a difficult job. You need a great amount of confidence to express your beliefs in an unwavering fashion. People will challenge you and come forward with counterarguments.

Consider it as an opportunity to test your ability to continue with your belief system intact as part of your own personal growth.

See you back here next time.

Patricia Benjamin
Life Coach
Love & Relationship Coach
Facebook: Ask Patricia
Twitter: Ask_Patricia
iTunes: Real Love Show