20 Declarations for a Powerful Purpose Driven Life

Abuse isn't only physical because immense damage can be done to your inner man, your emotional well being,  through vicious, cruel and hateful words.  Its called emotional and mental abuse. And no, its not ok.

If you've endured that and are now in the process of healing these words will help. 

Words may have torn you down but recognise words are a two edged sword, able to cut and yet able to heal.

Life is in the power of the tongue. Change your words to change the way you feel. If someone else's negative words have pained you here is what you do.

Say these declarations every morning and evening for 30 days. Say them with feeling and emotion and with intention. Speak clearly. Let your voice be strong.  Your voice is your instrument.


1. I cancel every negative word spoken over me. I cancel it's effects and I cancel it's consequences.  I rule over my own life and I rule those words obsolete.

2. I am a worthwhile person full of purpose and destiny.

3. Everything I put my mind to I accomplish with excellence. 

4. I am a unique person created in the image of God. 

5. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

6. God had me in mind from the foundation of the world and his plans for me are good. 

7. I deserve love that is kind. I deserve love that is patient. I deserve love that is not envious of me or full of its own importance. I deserve a love that believes in me, that hopes in me and that endures with me.

8. Today I feel beautiful.  Inside and out. 

9. In this entire world filled with billions of men and women there is not one that comes close to me. God broke the mould when he made me.

10. There are no limitations on me and I am free to use all my gifts and talents to create the life I was made for.

11. All things are possible for me because I believe. 

12. The past has no power to hold me.  I rise up now to live an amazing life.

13. My past is history.  My future is bright.  I have all I need to succeed in this life. 

14. Every day I am learning more and more. I am growing and getting more confident daily. 

15. I decide to show up in the world the way God made me and no one can stop me.

16. I choose peace over worry.  I choose serenity over stress. I choose joy over sorrow.

17. My heart is healing and my spirit restored. 

18. As an act of my free will I forgive those who hurt me. I forgive them freely by God's grace enabling me. I release them.

19. I release myself from those who hurt me. I set myself free and cut the emotional ties that held us. This sets me free. I am free.

20. Peace is my portion. Today and every day. I choose peace. 


Listen to a recent show on leaving abusive relationships here click here

Patricia Benjamin
Life and Relationship Coach
www.highlyfabulousconsulting.com
www.ruachradio.com

Celibacy, Porn, Domestic Violence - The Big Conversation the Church isn't Having!

Well, I sat in the theatre eagerly awaiting the start of the Play, Holy and Horny

I'd already had the pleasure of interviewing the Playwright herself, Tonya Bolton, and I was really looking forward to seeing her work. 

Real Love Show with Tonya Bolton: Holy and Horny

I have to say I was curious to see how Tonya would deal with such issues as celibacy, masturbation, rape, domestic violence, porn etc. These issues are tough enough but when you add the church element it becomes even tougher.  Not least of which because these are all taboo topics in the faith environment.

Well, Tonya plays all 20 characters in her one woman play,  (and she does so amazingly and brilliantly). I won't discuss the plot and ruin it for those who are yet to see this play currently enjoying it's UK farewell tour;  the play is emotional and uncomfortable.

Emotional and uncomfortable because as a woman I have high empathy with its characters. Not because I've been abused or even experienced some of those issues but God has given me a deep desire to reach out to women who have been oppressed. Women who are broken in spirit and/or broken hearted. 

I find it deeply painful to see or hear of such trauma being perpetrated upon my sisters.  It makes me very angry. Every time I hear stories of women being victimised in toxic or otherwise abusive relationships,  something deep inside me responds to try to somehow  ameliorate that pain. To bring healing. 

It pleases me to learn that women, and men, after having seen the play, have found the courage to speak out about the abuse they've endured, about a rape or other sexual assault about which hitherto they had kept quiet.

I've covered these issues on my show (The Real Love Show on Ruach Radio) several times and will continue to do so. 

How can you not feel emotional when you hear a woman being told that she is "ugly, worthless, should be grateful for his attention as he has women lining up to be with him"; all accompanied by ugly gestures and rammed home with physical abuse?

Why should any man feel he has the right to assault a woman with his tongue?  The Bible is truly right when it says "there is that (word) which pierces like a knife" and "death and life is in the power of the tongue".

Who on earth came up with the proverb "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me"?

So wrong. 

As well as domestic violence, child sex abuse and rape, the play also looks at celibacy and womanhood and how society (and the church) views women's bodies. 

How do you deal with your sexuality as a single woman, who the church says must be celibate? Is singleness a curse or a powerful state of being?  The show explores this so well.

I believe the church must begin to embrace these talking topics not from a preaching point of view but with a view to healing, understanding and educating. 

The play certainly gives plenty to think about. 

My colleague and I spoke after the show and we decided that attitudes definitely needed changing within the church. Sexual shame  needs to be addressed as many do not speak about their pain or personal challenges, but wear a mask. The mask is necessary if they wanted to be accepted.

I had a client who had lived a previous lesbian lifestyle and, although receiving counselling, was told to keep it quiet so people wouldn't treat her differently.  Think how powerful a testimony she actually has!  SMH.......

The conversation needs to be had and judging by the amount of people attending this Play, and the fact that Tonya has been asked to take it to the USA, people want to engage.  The silence must be stopped.

If you can see this play do go ahead.  Get tickets for the play here.  Be prepared for a hard hitting, adult conversation, with no holds barred!

Hear our conversation here

Patricia Benjamin 
Relationship and Life Coach
BEFFTA Best Radio Personality 
Christian Women in Media Intl UK
www.ruachradio.com
www.highlyfabulousconsulting.com